Saturday, November 17, 2012

Wrong Number- BFF 244




      When I was a kid it was tradition for my family to wake up at 5:00 am Christmas morning to see what Santa had brought.  My sister and I were so filled with excitement for the surprises of Christmas morning that we couldn’t wait to get the party started.  My Dad insisted that no one would have Christmas before 5:00 am.  That was law, as written in stone as any rule could ever be.  My sister and I would set our alarm clocks and as soon as that first blast from the clock roused us from sleep, we raced out to the living room to see if Santa had in fact come.  The bulging stockings would seem to magically sparkle. Once Santa’s arrival had been confirmed, we raced to my parent’s room to wake them.




      It used to drive us crazy how my dad in particular took his sweet a$$ time getting out of bed and ready for opening presents Christmas morning.  He knew how excited we were.  He would stumble into the bathroom and stay in there so long you would swear he had fallen in.  How can a person honestly sit on the toilet and meditate while taking a $hit on Christmas morning knowing your kids were biting at the bit to get to those presents?  I mean, drop your load, wipe, and hurry the hell up!!  Santa had been there for crying out loud!  He always took his time.  The door would open with a blast of foul smelling air that he had tried to camouflage with Old Spice as he sauntered out to the kitchen right past the presents like he didn’t have a care in the world.  Once there he would start the coffee maker and we would have to wait until he had his first cup of coffee.  In the time it took him to move his bowels and fill up with his morning dose of caffeine my mother had managed to dress and join us in our impatient vigil staring at the bounty that awaited us to open.




       My sister and I always phoned my Grandma first thing in the morning to wish her a Merry Christmas and in turn tell her what we had gotten for Christmas.  Even 
though we always celebrated Christmas with her a few hours later with breakfast and more gifts, it was tradition to make the call.  We would tear through our Christmas stockings and gifts, and then rush out to the hall phone to make our annual call.  My sister being the oldest dialed the number and then held out the receiver.  It rang once, twice, three times, and then after the fourth ring Grandma picked up.  Before she could even say hello, we screamed “Merry Christmas Grandma!!!” at the top of our lungs.  The only problem was it wasn’t Grandma.  A very annoyed male voice demanded “Who the hell is this?”  Oh my G0d!! It wasn’t Grandma!  With eyes the size of saucers my sister hung up the phone.  Several seconds passed in silence as we stared at each other with our jaws dropped and our hands up on our mouths in dismay.  We both screamed and ran into the living room laughing hysterically.  After that, my sister was afraid to dial the phone again and insisted my mom call Grandma.  The second phone call was met with a quieter Merry Christmas from the both of us and a full retelling of what we had done peppered with giggles.



          It could have only been a little after 6 in the morning when we roused that random guy out of his snug bed to scream in his ear that Christmas.  I bet he was wondering why.  In retrospect, while he couldn’t have appreciated our holiday cheer and exuberance at the butt crack of dawn at least we didn’t wake him out of a deep sleep blasting profanity in his ear.  That would have been unforgivable until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

15 comments:

  1. love it. we drive our kids nuts too or I do as I insist I get a dose of caffeine first! Love the phone conversation, lol.

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    1. Sandra, I don't need the coffee because I don't drink it and since I have went all healthy I don't drink any form of caffeine. I am so pleased you enjoyed my story. I guess some people are not up at dawn to open presents. LOL Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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  2. You mean you and your sister tore through everything by 6 am?!?!?! I used to go slow and savour it!

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    1. JoJo, yes...I guess we were eager to see what we got and then we played and savored the new stuff for the rest of the day. Since I have become a mom and don't have to go anywhere Christmas day we stay in pajamas all day and play. It is awesome. Now that I am older...I love to savor it all day long!! Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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  3. My Dad refused to get out of bed (he who considered 6am to be sleeping in) until he smelled coffee brewing, so I was delighted when they got a coffee maker that you could program. But until then, all 5 of us would sneak into Mom & Dad's room and stare at them until they finally got up. Guess they couldn't handle feeling all those eyes!

    That was just mean, torturing you by sitting in the bathroom so long!

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    1. Lisa, That is funny!! I guess my dad had to go...bad!! He like to savor his time alone. LOLOLOLOLOL Thank you for stopping by to read and for sharing your stories and your wonderful comments! ♥

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  4. So fun! My parents had 6 of us and they would set up the tree and decorate it all on Christmas eve as Santa brought it. They would have their evening together doing all the wrapping and having a highball etc. They would crawl to bed and be woken up at dawn by us. They dragged themselves out of bed, and as an adult, I can imagine how exhausted they were. Once we were older, it was never the same, it was still great, but the mystery of the tree being delivered by Santa was amazing.

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    1. Winnie, that is so cool! I have never known someone who had their tree delivered by Santa. I bet that was amazing. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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  5. My parents decreed that Christmas started at 7am.....when my brother and I were younger that time always seemed so evil! Especially when we were awake at 5am and had to wait a whole 2 hours!

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    1. Loki-Lou, 7 am is too late!! My kids like to sleep in. Not quite sure what their deal is. I can barely sleep Christmas eve even now. I am the one getting everyone out of bed wanting to have Christmas. LOL Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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  6. Too funny! I also agree with your dad that Christmas does not begin before 5am. Luckily my husband doesn't torture our kids by staying in the bathroom too long! :)

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    1. anotherjennifer, Now that I am older I agree with him too on the most part. Especially as each year passes. My husband is more likely to torture us all by just laying there in bed and not getting up!! LOL Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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  7. Haha! I would've loved to hear how that phone conversation went :)

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    1. Anne, it kind of freaked us out. We weren't expecting that!! LOL Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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  8. Oh my goodness... Lucky Grandma to get such delightful calls. I hope it turned into a funny memory for the poor guy you work up! LOL

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