Hats

This week’s Writer’s Post Blog Hop is brought to us by my dear friend Jenn at Wine-n-Chat.

      Some people look great in hats.  They wear them well and the hats look like they belong on their heads.  Then there are people like me that just don't feel comfortable wearing them.  I have never found a hat that I look good in, except the figurative ones.  G0d knows I wear enough of those.  When it is colder than a witch’s tit in the Klondike, I usually will wear a hat.  I will admit that I normally don a paper tiara at New Years, and if the occasion arose I would wear a Mickey Mouse ear hat any time, any place because they are so cool.

      My Dad’s head was mostly bald and he always wore a hat.  He had a vast collection of them with everything printed on them from the name of his local teamster union to a hat he picked up at a National Tractor Pull from years past.  In the warmer months he would wear the ball cap variety, then in the winter he would dig out his collection of stocking caps.  I always thought it was hilarious how he would perch a stocking cap on the tip top of his head instead of pulling it down so it covered his ears.  I never could figure out how he kept it on his head.  It looked like a bird’s nest.  You almost expected a bird to land there and lay eggs.  Still, it worked for him!  There was even a point in time when cowboy hats were all the rage that he went absolutely everywhere in one of those things.

      Remember when Prince William got married?  Everyone was wearing a hat and most of them rocked the look.  Unfortunately, Princess Beatrice looked like she was trying to contact another planet in her hat.  She looked utterly ridiculous!  If she wanted to be remembered, she certainly accomplished it.  I know she was trying to stand out, but hey she is a princess.  What are the odds that she wouldn’t be noticed simply for her status?  She didn’t need to wear something on her head that looked like it would bring in 50 channels.  On the most part, the people in the UK have got it going on with hats.  From their jeweled tiaras to their hats with feathery plumes, they have the coolest hats and know how to wear them!  One of the best parts about the royal wedding was checking out what hat everyone was wearing, how unusual they were, and how awesome they looked in them.  I wouldn’t mind wearing some of those stylish numbers but lets face it…I would get some looks walking out to the mailbox or making a run to the grocery store with some flying saucer shaped number sprouting feathers with my blue jeans and t-shirt.  Considering I like being mostly invisible, I would never handle wearing something that looks like a satellite dish on my head. Unfortunately, I never go anywhere that would warrant owning such a hat.  It is sad, but true.

       So for me, hats are strictly for warmth and only as a last resort when I know I am going to be outside in the blowing, snowing, and ice cold weather for any length of time.   When it comes down to freezing my head off for the sake of vanity or being snug as a bug and looking ridiculous, I will opt for looking ridiculous every single time.  What can I say?  I like to be warm.