Monday, January 18, 2016

#Monday Musings

           It’s Monday.  It’s Martin Luther King Day.  Wow.  I haven’t written anything since November 11, 2015. That is a long time.  Do I even still remember how to write?  We will see, won’t we?  Where have I been?  Sick.  I have been sick with pneumonia all this time.   My husband had pneumonia which led to him being unable to work for two weeks.  The only blessing was that the kids never got sick once.  He got better.  I didn’t.  Go figure.  I mean, I have no trains to catch, no job outside the home, so who truly gives a rat’s ass if I ever get well?  It has been a long, depressing road.  We survived the holidays.  The internet was off at our house all this time.  I had the internet on my phone, but nowhere else.  Honestly, I didn’t feel well enough to waddle from my bed to the bathroom, let alone write.  I kept a low profile and flew under the radar battling depression, my own demons, and making a minute by minute attempt to literally cough up my vagina and every bodily fluid I could possibly possess.  Have you ever coughed so hard that you literally peed your pants? Or worse?  I have been there and done that and, this time, didn’t even have the joyous excuse of being pregnant.

        So here I am! For those of you that wondered if I died, you didn’t get that lucky.  I am still struggling along somehow with my messed up  humor and special brand of sarcasm very much intact.   With that said I’ll be giving this writing thing another go.  I am older, struggling with mental-pause hormones.  The up- side is that my doctor finally figured out that perhaps I needed a bit of medicinal help with that situation when I shared that I normally step out on my back stoop in subzero temps in my underwear, barefoot…in the snow,  because I am sweating my ass off.  Behavior like that doesn’t really help the whole attempt to get over pneumonia.

       I have discovered a few things about myself during this time period, though.  The first, and perhaps the most important is that I giggle when I am nervous and uncomfortable.  It isn’t because I am particularly happy.  I also laugh hysterically when I am amused, which still happens quite regularly.   I talk entirely too much when prompted.  I probably share things I relate with and am amused by entirely too much on Facebook.   I am perhaps a bit too honest for most people’s tastes and probably a whole lot inappropriate.  I am convinced that it is a public service for me to isolate myself as much as possible which is why I hide behind writing fiction and haiku.  I also realize that I am just not that great of a writer, but I am OK with that now.  I will write for the fun of it and see how it goes and have absolutely no illusions that I belong at the top of any writing heap.  Sometimes you just need to let it out and vent. Sometimes you simply have to realize that God never abandoned you after all and you are OK.  And then sometimes, you need to quit caring so much, and simply try again.  That is what I am attempting to do.



#MondayMusings










42 comments:

  1. Well Kathy, I love you and have missed you on the blogosphere. I was hoping you were whooping it up on a cruise ship and enjoying family. I am so sorry to read you and your hubby were sick. Those long illnesses are a great misery. Menopause is not for the feint of heart. I'm glad you are getting help. Those sweats are dreadful.
    I look forward to what you write. Cheers.

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    1. Ann, It has sucked and I am still coughing up phlegm. I honestly don't think I will shake this stuff till spring arrives and the weather warms up. The medication the doctor has me on has really been helping a lot. Unfortunately for a little while I had to go off it because I didn't have the money for it. I was able to get all my prescriptions refilled this last weekend, so yay! Back taking that and the arthritis med too. I really appreciate you stopping by to read, and your kind words. You touch my heart! ♥

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  2. Missed seeing your posts, and contest entries...glad you are FINALLY better!
    Wow, that was a long road back. Welcome back!!!

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    1. Joe, me too. I am still coughing, still have the phlegm. But...I am much better. I can function. Thanks for the warm welcome, for stopping in to read and for your sweet comments! I probably will be entering again if for no other reason that take my rightful place on the bottom row. Hell someone has got to do it, and it might as well be me! ♥

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  3. Glad to see you back, Kathy! You have such a knack for injecting humor into tough times! I am so sorry you went through prolonged sickness - we've been in and out of the 'flu at home as well and of course, after a while, nobody wants to know - I know that feeling. Glad to see you're on the path to recovery. Hugs!

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    1. Vidya, thank you so much for stopping by to read and for your lovely comments! I can honestly say I don't think I have ever been that sick in my life. Really surprised I didn't get thrown in the hospital but evidently that isn't the thing to do for pneumonia. Its good to be back. ♥

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  4. So good to see you back, Kathy! Sorry that you had a trying time. Hope you are fit and fine now. Take care of yourself and looking forward to read lots of micro-fictions and haikus from you! Stay blessed and a big hug to you ♥

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    1. Shilpa, I am better but not quite 100%...close. 90%. Thanks so much for stopping by and for your sweet comments! ♥

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  5. We all love you the way you are, Kathy . And you have a thick sense of humour.

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    1. Ajay, that is one thing I do have...a sense of humor. It amazes me how many don't. Thanks so much for stopping by and for your sweet comments. They mean an awful lot! ♥

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  6. I love you Kathy. Good to see you back! I'm so glad you are finally feeling better.

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    1. JoJo, love you back! I am glad too. It is a relief really. Thanks so much for stopping by and for your sweet comments! ♥

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  7. Certainly have noticed your absence, Kathy, and have truly missed you! I figured you were just taking a well-deserved hiatus from writing, but so sorry to hear you were down with pneumonia. Yuck! But like you always do, you've bounced back with grace and wit (Did I ever tell you how much I love your quirky sense of humor?). Anyway, so glad to catch you here today, my friend. Love and blessings!

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    1. Martha, awe! Thanks for noticing me and for stopping by to read and for your sweet comments! Love and blessings right back at you! ♥

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  8. Kathy, glad to see you back and you finally feeling better. Be strong and you shall conquer.
    Stay blessed and Hugs

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    1. Vishal, thank you for stopping by and for your sweet comments! It will take me a bit to get back into the swing of things. ❤️

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  9. Glad to see you back here, Kathy. "And then sometimes, you need to quit caring so much, and simply try again." Absolutely right. I should remember this. I hope you are feeling better now. Take care.

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    1. Vinitha, much better than I did. Now the challenge lies in finding ways to post and comment with intermittent internet at home. Still having issues with that. One day I will have it all ironed out. Thanks so much for stopping by to read and for your sweet comments!

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  10. Welcome back, glad you are on the mend, hopefully stays that way. Ugg, I hate coughing in every way.

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    1. Pat, me too! Being sick has totally sucked! It is so good to hear from you! Thanks so much for stopping by and for your sweet comments! ❤️

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  11. Oh I've missed you dear Kathy! Hope you are feeling better now. It is so you to find humour even in your trying times. Love n hugs!

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    1. Aditi, still coughing but on the mend! Now I just need to conquer my internet issues! Thank you so much for stopping by and for your sweet comments!❤️

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  12. Oh my goodness! That certainly sounds like a really rough road you've been on, dear Kathy! I have missed seeing your posts here too. Hugs and hope you are fully recovered soon and don't worry too much about anything, least of all what people think. Bear hugs to you once again.

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    1. Shailaja, I am still coughing and kicking but at this point the biggest challenge is my internet issues and the never ending challenge of finding inspiration! Thanks so much for stopping by and for your sweet comments!❤️

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  13. Sorry you've been seriously ill, Kathy and I have missed you. Hubby and I had a similar virus but not full-blown pneumonia - that's rough! Good thing the kids stayed healthy and that you still have your sense of humour. Hot flashes and night sweats are awful too! Here's hoping those will ease up for you. You said: "I also realize that I am just not that great of a writer..." BULLSHIT! You are a gifted writer and need to knock that thought right out of your head! Write for yourself and don't worry about what others think. You also said: "I am perhaps a bit too honest for most people’s tastes and probably a whole lot inappropriate." That is one of the best things about you, so don't ever change! Looking forward to reading your work again. All the best for 2016!

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    1. Debbie, thanks for the vote of confidence!! Thank you for stopping by to read and for your sweet comments! ❤️

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  14. Glad to hear you are recovering - been there, done that - I feel for you!
    Sage & honey tea is good for the coughing and the sweating.
    This might help inspire you to write some more:
    http://yeahwrite.me/#01
    Glad to read from you again!

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    1. Weissdorn, thanks for the inspiration and for stopping by to read and comment!❤️

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  15. Hope you are feeling better now. Welcome back.

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    1. Ira, I am better. Thank you for stopping by and for your sweet comments!❤️

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  16. Welcome back. I love your writings, and also you zentangles. Please take good care and get well soon. Sending positive vibes your way. :)

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    1. Payal , thank you for the positive vibes and for stopping by to read and for your sweet comments!

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  17. You're an absolute star, Kathy. That you manage to keep your humour in the midst of your illness is amazing. Glad to see you back. And don't hesitate to be YOU! ♥

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    1. Corinne, thank you for the kind words of encouragement, and for stopping by to read and comment. It means a lot!❤️

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  18. So good to have you back, Kathy. I hope you are well. Keep writing. Love always!

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    1. Shalini, right now it feels as if the obstacles to writing, commenting, and posting is almost insurmountable but I am trying to find a way. Thank you so much for stopping by to read and for your sweet comments! ❤️

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  19. Hey Kathy dear. Am so happy to see your are back in the blogosphere. Have missed your writings:-) Sorry to hear about your illness, but happy to read about your good things too. I was offline for along time too, and it can be pretty great. Anyway- keep writing and keep rocking girl:-) Huuuuugs

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    1. Eli, thanks so much for stopping by to read and for your sweet comments! They brought a ray of sunshine to me! ❤️

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  20. Hey Kathy, nice to hear from you. You definitely haven't lost your humour :) I hope you are getting well and ready to deal with Winter :) lots of warm hugs to you :)

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    1. Rajlakshmi , I don't I will ever completely lose that. Thank you so much for stopping in and for your sweet comments!! ❤️

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  21. Nothing is worse than being so sick you can't function. I'm so sorry!

    Way to have a mature perspective about it all. You have to write because you love it first and foremost. Why else would you pour your soul out onto the page otherwise?

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    1. Crystal, you simply wouldn't. That has been my struggle lately. Not sure I love it enough to overcome all the obstacles that keep me from doing it. Thanks so much for stopping by and for your sweet comments!❤️

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