Sunday, December 8, 2013

Memories

Write Tribe




     There was a time period in my life when I chose to live in the past.  As some of the most important people I had known passed from this world I wanted nothing more than to live in my memories where they still resided.  I didn’t want to live in the now where they no longer were or think about a future where they would never be again.   I clung to their earthly possessions and photographs as if they could somehow become the person I lost.  I thought of them constantly and continually mourned. 



      Many writing prompts call for a person to delve into their pasts for inspiration.  Countless times I have looked back into my memories of those long ago days to a time period where I experienced a depression so all-consuming it is a wonder that I lived to tell the tale at all.  For years I went with the flow, drawing from those painful memories and reliving the past through those blog posts over and over again.  It was depressing and I wondered who truly wanted to hear my sob story.  Still it helped to write it because I was able to finally let the past go once and for all.  Believe me when I say, I know about loss and pain.  I know them both too well.  While there are also many happy memories to sort through over the course of my life, I rarely take them out and dust them off and reminisce any more.


        Still one of the best triggers for nostalgia is photographs and I have many.  It is funny how simply looking at a photograph will trigger an onslaught of memories.  Instantly you are transported back to that time when the picture was initially captured.  You remember the circumstances.  Past conversations and laughter echo and my heart strings are tugged.   A tear of nostalgia wells in my eye.  They make me smile.  As my children get older occasionally I will see a glimmer of the babies they once were in their facial expressions and mannerisms and I pull out the old photos and reminisce about those days.  Time marches on and the memories live in in a deep place in my heart.  Every now and then, I take them out and dust them off and remember.



       While most of the time I hate to dwell in the past, it is so important to remember the past to be able to understand the present and give direction to the future.  It is important to know what got us to where we are today.  No matter how much pain occurred, it happened for a reason so that wisdom and strength could be gained.  Without it a person would never be able to move forward in life.  I don’t think there would be anything worse than to be struck with Alzheimer’s like my Grandma was in later life and robbed of those precious memories with no earthly idea how you got to the place where you are.  Memories make us who we are and shape our identity.  Without them we become a lost soul wandering the world in a darkness that can only be imagined.


52 comments:

  1. I have yet to bring myself to look at my photo albums from my old life out west. I do view them on FB from time to time but those are only a handful of the amount that exist in all my albums. Russell & I have yet to really make some kind of tradition for ourselves this time of year b/c our families all want a piece of us. Like Thanksgiving Day, we went to the hospital to see my mom (we were supposed to cook & bring food to her house but she got sick), then we went to his sister's for an hour to visit with his parents and them, then we dashed home to finish cooking dinner because the kids came to our house to eat at 3. By 5:30 when they left to go to their mom's for 'second dinner', we felt like it was midnight.

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    1. JoJo, it was like that when my husband and I first got married. It seemed like once Christmas eve hit we were going here, there, and everywhere. Then eventually people started dying off, things changed, and now we are happy to spend the whole holiday home enjoying each other. Thank you for stopping by and for your kind comments! ♥

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  2. This is why I write. This is also why I live in the now. I am happy now and I do enjoy walks down memory lane, but since I have written my way through grieve and heartache, I can now focus on the fun and silly memories and laugh out loud with anyone who shares them. I still find 35 years of life without my dad is unimaginable, however, though I still miss him, I rarely cry when remembering him. There are moments, though...yes, there will always be moments.

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    1. Jo, writing does help. It is a way to document feelings and get them out of your system. It works, but after a while you are able to write stories, and focus on happier things again. There will always be moments. They are random and they happen. They are just not as devastating as they once were. Thank you for stopping by and for your sweet comments! ♥

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  3. I hear you loud and clear, Kathy. Memories are important, but dwelling too much in the past will get us no where. I know you've done your healing work, as I have mine, but it's ongoing process. Now can look back with gratitude for the happy times and for the lessons we've learned from the painful times. ♥

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    1. Corinne, exactly! Thank you for stopping by and for your kind comments! ♥

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  4. I have a confession to make: I too delve too much in the past from time-to-time and hang to photographs and memories. Hate to live in the now where the going gets tough. I mean, it kills you and prefer the glorious past. But, as someone once told me, make new memories:)
    www.vishalbheeroo.wordpress.com

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    1. Ranveer, it took me a while to get to that point but I had to for my sanity and my children. Sometimes you have to let the past go and remember to live. Thank you for stopping by and for your sweet comments! ♥

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  5. Beautiful post, Kathy. Very inspiring. Photographs certainly bring a flood of memories. I agree that dwelling in the past is harmful, we can ignore it at our own peril.

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    1. JNC, I used to dwell on it entirely too much wishing to go back in time when my parents lived. Eventually I was able to store the pictures away and begin to live again. Thank you for stopping by and for your sweet comments! ♥

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  6. I like the quote that you added to your post - If you are at peace, you are living in the present. Will focus on that idea for today!

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    1. Robyn, I liked it too. Thought it was a really good one to focus on. I will think about that today...and think about that tomorrow. Thank you for stopping by and for your kind comments! ♥

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  7. This is such a lovely post, Kathy. So glad that you now look at the pains of the past as lessons. As they say, life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forward :)

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    1. Shilpa, I am so pleased you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for stopping by and for your poignant comments. You are so right. I am so pleased you enjoyed my post! ♥

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  8. Lovely post.

    For me, the past memories keep me going. I shall never release them.

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    1. myinnerchick.com, I won't either! Thank you for stopping by and for your sweet comments! ♥

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  9. This was so timely. Dealing with so much grief, it has tried to rob me of any joy but I have determined never to let that happen. It takes work but it is worth it. This is precisely why it took 10 years to write my memoir -- having to deal with the past. Thank you for your post.

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    1. Carol, sometimes it is hard to put the past to rest. It is doable and for the best in most circumstances. Thank you for stopping by and for your sweet comments. ♥

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  10. To delve cannot help,but to think and ponder over really makes a way for us through the present. It shows us the path through darkness reminding us of the bitter or difficult past an its memories. Great share here!

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    1. soumya2012, understanding the events of the past definitely help to figure out how to proceed in the present and the future. Thank you for stopping by and for your kind comments! ♥

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  11. I lost two of my best friends. And losing them when life looked so promising was heart breaking for me. There was a time when I too dwelled in the past and in the agony of losing them. But as time flew I came to embrace their memories more closer to heart. Definitely memories are one thing that keep us moving at times like this. This was a heartwarming post :)

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    1. Sheethal, I am so pleased you enjoyed it! Thank you for stopping by and for your sweet comments! ♥

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  12. Very true Kathy, our Past is what has made us what wee are today. Our experiences shape us and they indeed give us a direction! I loved the images!

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    1. Gayu, I am so pleased you enjoyed it! Thank you for stopping by and for your sweet comments! ♥

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  13. Beautifully written and rightly said. Past is what sets the present and what fuels the future. A lovely post.

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    1. Padmanabha, I am so pleased you enjoyed it! Thank you for stopping by and for your sweet comments! ♥

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    1. mytakeoneverything9, I am so pleased you enjoyed it! Thank you for stopping by and for your sweet comments! ♥

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  15. Writing is truly healing.

    'It's important to know what got to us to where we are today'. So true. It is surely what helps us in moving forward. Lovely post. Looking forward to reading more.

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    1. iihahs, I am so pleased you enjoyed it! Thank you for stopping by and for your sweet comments! ♥

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  16. Excellent post Kathy and you're right.. We've absolutely got to know and understand the past to move forward.

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    1. Mimi. exactly. So pleased you enjoyed my post! Thank you so much for stopping by and for your sweet comments! ♥

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  17. "Memories make us who we are and shape our identity. Without them we become a lost soul wandering the world in a darkness that can only be imagined." That last line pretty much sums up my point of view on memories as well. We must learn all that we can from all our experiences and keep moving forward, as that is the only direction to go on with life.

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    1. mahabore, so pleased you agree and enjoyed my post! Thank you for stopping by and for your sweet comments! ♥

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  18. Isn't that ever so true that photographs transport you back to that moment in time. And yes writing is so therapeutic - it's a great way to let go of the past. And even though some memories make us feel a little sad, they are part of who we are. What would we be without memories.

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    1. Suzy, we would be an empty shell of himself. Thank you for stopping by and for your sweet comments! I am so pleased you enjoyed my post! ♥

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  19. Brilliant post Kathy. It is imperative that we understand the past to appreciate the present and nothing helps us understand that past than memories. Loved your take on the prompt :)

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    1. iwrotethose, I am so pleased you liked it! Thank you so much for stopping by and for your kind comments! ♥

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  20. Great post, Kathy. I so agree that photos can trigger memories and bring it all back. And writing about our pain and loss is so therapeutic and necessary for healing. It's important to keep the memories alive but not let them consume us. I know you have suffered great loss and I admire your strength.

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    1. Writercat59, I am so pleased you enjoyed my post. Thank you for stopping by and your kind comments. They mean an awful lot. ♥

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  21. Lovely post :) photographs are keepsakes that bring back lovely memories and moments. Its sometimes tough to let go of the past. But i guess we do have to, for our own sake. The past will always form a part of us.

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    1. Preethi, I am so pleased you enjoyed my post. The past makes us who we are! ♥

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  22. A very beautiful post Kathy, it did make me emotional reading it! I suppose there is a big difference between remembering and dwelling...we are influenced everyday by not only who we were, but who were with us, in the past.

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    1. Loki, I am so pleased you enjoyed reading it. Yes indeed. Well said! Thank you for stopping by and for your lovely comments! ♥

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  23. beautiful post, kathy.
    I agree dwelling in the past can only make the present blur.
    You are a strong soul and I am glad to know you...hugs!

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    1. Ruchira, I am glad to call you friend as well. Thank you for stopping in and for your sweet comments! ♥

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  24. u said it all... dwelling in the past can be suffocating..but once in a while it also helps to let ur system flush out the bad memories and gain happiness with the good ones!

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    1. the little princess, I would so much rather focus on the positive. Thank you for stopping by and for you sweet comments! ♥

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  25. I couldn't agree more Kathy. Memories and writing have a deep connection. Something about written words they carry forward our lives in the most positive way... *hugs*

    Richa

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    1. Richa, somehow writing it all down simply helps like nothing else can. Thank you so much for stopping by and for your sweet comments! ♥

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  26. Good photos always trigger a little nostalgia. Thanks for sharing, Kathy!!

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    1. Michelle, they sure do! Thank you for stopping by and for your sweet comments! ♥

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