That One Crazy Friend

 

     A song playing and I am transported.

      Stunned, I quickly crank the volume losing myself to the beat. 

      Tears glisten in my eyes, as I belt out the lyrics. Priceless snippets of you flood my senses:  dancing on tabletops, mooning the student body at the pep rally.   I even remember the aftermath of that one crazy night that began with shots of tequila, stealing the Mackinac Island Ferry, and ending in a night in jail after your speech to the cops that you were Jack Sparrow.

  I’d sacrifice everything to experience reckless insanity again with you just one last time.

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When Memories Fade

     Flipping through pictures used to bring Grandma joy as she recalled each precious moment frozen forever in each setting.

      She used to be able to think of the funniest anecdotes about the people and places featured eliciting giggles from anyone within earshot.

      Slowly the memories began to fade to the farthest reaches of her mind until they were mere glimmers and then extinguished entirely.

       Instead of bringing joy and precious memories, the photographs began to bring a sense of loss and sadness which resulted in an immediate sense of anxiety and fear.

      The only memory she managed to miraculously retain was her lifelong relationship of love, devotion, and faith in Jesus to guide her to the unwavering beacon of light ahead where the anxiety and fear could no longer torment her.

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Gargleblaster: Progress

 

         Kara raced through the meadow chasing butterflies.  She spent hours picking wildflowers and creating imaginary games.  Life was so easy then.   Twenty years later she stared at the concrete jungle that replaced the fairyland of her childhood as a lone tear fell.

Note:  This 42 word fictional story was written for the Yeah Write Me #170 Summer Series Prompt "Where have all the flowers gone?".

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Y is for Yesterday

life passes quickly

past moments gone forever

memories cherished

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M is for Memories

yesterday’s moments

frozen in time forever

a heart’s souvenirs

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Memories

I am taking part in The Write Tribe Festival of Words 8th – 14th December 2013. 

     There was a time period in my life when I chose to live in the past.  As some of the most important people I had known passed from this world I wanted nothing more than to live in my memories where they still resided.  I didn’t want to live in the now where they no longer were or think about a future where they would never be again.   I clung to their earthly possessions and photographs as if they could somehow become the person I lost.  I thought of them constantly and continually mourned. 

      Many writing prompts call for a person to delve into their pasts for inspiration.  Countless times I have looked back into my memories of those long ago days to a time period where I experienced a depression so all-consuming it is a wonder that I lived to tell the tale at all.  For years I went with the flow, drawing from those painful memories and reliving the past through those blog posts over and over again.  It was depressing and I wondered who truly wanted to hear my sob story.  Still it helped to write it because I was able to finally let the past go once and for all.  Believe me when I say, I know about loss and pain.  I know them both too well.  While there are also many happy memories to sort through over the course of my life, I rarely take them out and dust them off and reminisce any more.

        Still one of the best triggers for nostalgia is photographs and I have many.  It is funny how simply looking at a photograph will trigger an onslaught of memories.  Instantly you are transported back to that time when the picture was initially captured.  You remember the circumstances.  Past conversations and laughter echo and my heart strings are tugged.   A tear of nostalgia wells in my eye.  They make me smile.  As my children get older occasionally I will see a glimmer of the babies they once were in their facial expressions and mannerisms and I pull out the old photos and reminisce about those days.  Time marches on and the memories live in in a deep place in my heart.  Every now and then, I take them out and dust them off and remember.

       While most of the time I hate to dwell in the past, it is so important to remember the past to be able to understand the present and give direction to the future.  It is important to know what got us to where we are today.  No matter how much pain occurred, it happened for a reason so that wisdom and strength could be gained.  Without it a person would never be able to move forward in life.  I don’t think there would be anything worse than to be struck with Alzheimer’s like my Grandma was in later life and robbed of those precious memories with no earthly idea how you got to the place where you are.  Memories make us who we are and shape our identity.  Without them we become a lost soul wandering the world in a darkness that can only be imagined.

Letters Unsent #4

This letter was written for the Write Tribe Wednesday writing prompt that asked that we compose a letter to our current love or spouse.

To My Dear Husband,

        It has been almost 17 years since you waltzed into my life.  I was tired of being alone and at the age of 28 I was ready to meet someone I could spend the rest of my life with.  I wanted to have a family.  I wanted love.  Quite simply, I wanted the fairytale.  I wasn’t meeting anyone worthwhile on my own and my first marriage had been a nightmare from hell.  I was lucky to escape that mistake with my life.  Still, I longed for a soul mate.  Because of that I took matters into my own hands and paid $500.00 to Matchmaker to find my prince charming which turned out to be…you.

       By the time I received your information in the mail I had already experienced my share of duds.  It was getting ridiculous and I was losing all hope of finding anyone normal who I could love forever.  I was resigned to end up in a house on a hill surrounded by cats living out my days in utter seclusion.    Then your introduction arrived in the mail.  Right away I was drawn to you.  I liked your first name.  I liked that you were a truck mechanic.  I even liked that you were younger than me.  I liked that you had never been married before.  Instinctively I knew you were the one before we ever met.  You were and are my destiny.  Still by the time you finally called me, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to meet you or anyone else.  The others had all been unqualified disasters.  I quickly told you that we couldn’t meet right away because I was heading to a Halloween party at a local bar and our meeting would have to wait. 

        Fortunately a few days later, you called again.  We talked and talked…and talked some more.  Before we realized it, we had talked all night long.  You were ready to meet me, but after I had talked to you all night I feared that while we were certainly compatible on the phone I was afraid that perhaps meeting you in the flesh would ruin it.  What if you were scary as hell looking?  Or worse yet, what if you thought I was ugly?  I wanted to wait.  You agreed and told me you were going to spend the day riding your 4 wheeler and would be back later that night.  After we hung up, I regretted my decision and waited impatiently until that night to reach you again.  When I finally got a hold of you I demanded to meet you immediately.  Who cared if it was after 9:00 PM at night and that you could have been an axe murderer rapist?  Deep down, I knew I would be safe with you.  I had waited long enough, and honestly I couldn’t wait another second.

         As fate would have it, you didn’t live far away and were soon at my door.    We watched movies and talked all night long.  Needless to say, you had me at hello.  We have been together ever since having married within a year of meeting.  You and I are so alike.  We laugh at the same things and over the years have shared so much.  With you I got
my happily ever after.  We have been through so much from the birth of our children to comforting each other in times of heartache.  I can’t imagine life without you nor can I imagine how I lived life without you in it before we met.   There will never be another for me.   I am so glad we found each other.   I love the life we have share, our home, our two children, our dogs, and I just love you so much.  If it weren't for you I would have never figured out that I like dogs!!

   I will admit I hate being apart from you so much, but I know it is your job and you love it.  Still, there is a reason we all are waiting at the end of the drive way jumping up and down when your truck pulls onto our road and you are finally in sight.   It is because there is no greater reason for celebration in this life than your homecomings!  We miss you.  I miss you.  I love you now and always.

Love Me

If Only You Were Here....

     If only you were here you would have helped me and I wouldn’t have had to figure out what to do alone.  I would have never learned to stand on my own two feet.  I would never have been independent.  I would have continued to depend on you completely.    I would never have become the “me” I am today.  

  

  

     I would have continued to work because you would have babysat the kids willingly.  I would have missed precious milestones but memories would have happily included you.  How happy we could have all been living our lives in parallel, if only….

The Kitchen Table

This was written for the Writer's Post Blog Hop hosted by Tayla Tate Boerner of "Grace Grits and Gardening".

     The kitchen table was sitting on the front lawn waiting to be auctioned off.  As I watched prospective bidders mill around my parent’s things memories came rushing back.  Every season warranted a new tablecloth.  If it was Christmas, the tablecloth featured holly berries or a Currier and Ives scene.  If it was Halloween, there would be pumpkins.  If it was Easter, there would be Easter eggs or bunnies.  It is funny the things a person remembers.

      So many memories from coloring Easter eggs to turkey dinners punctuated with the laughter of my family.  There were nights gathered around the table playing Monopoly and seeing my Dad enjoying his ice cream before bedtime.  On holidays the leaves would go in and the table would magically grow to hold all the marvelous food my parents prepared.

      Now the table is empty devoid of a table cloth.  My parents are gone and the family that once was will never gather around it again.  I still have my memories, but it is time for the table to find a new home.  Life is about changing and nothing ever stays the same.   With a lump in my throat I take one last look and walk away.

Lost Treasure

     While sorting through my mom’s belongings after her death I came across something I never knew existed.  Buried in a box of pictures and memorabilia I discovered a diary.  I peeked inside its cover and quickly recognized my mother’s flowing handwriting filling each page in blue ink.  While glancing through the pages, I realized this was a diary she had kept while she had been pregnant with me! 

     A picture of her a few short weeks before my birth was saved within.  My heart thrilled at my discovery and I devoured each word as a starving person would a meal.