Brilliant Disguise

     This year for Halloween I am dressing up as a slightly overweight stay at home mom in the throes of mental-pause.  You guessed it; I will be going as myself which is scary enough!  It will be a brilliant disguise and no one will suspect.  I will be the one trailing after my two little goblins as they race from house to house begging for treats.  Without any doubt I will be wearing jeans, sweatshirt, and my Notre Dame jacket and struggling to keep warm and carrying a flashlight because above all else, I am a safety girl.  Dressed in layers is the ticket because by Halloween it is usually pretty cold here in northern Indiana.

           I used to love dressing up when I was a kid.  Besides the heaps of candy, it was the best part of Halloween.  If I were going to some Halloween party or getting some sweet treats out of the deal I might be tempted to dress up. Since my daughter and I resemble each other so closely, maybe, just maybe I could dress up too and trick or treat with them.  Just a fleeting thought.   But hey, even though I am only 5 ‘0 tall and about even in size with my daughter, I know that no one is going to pass out treats to a 45 year old.   Good sense will rule the day and I will sidetrack the fun and follow along behind lighting the way with my trusty flashlight like a good mommy.  If I want candy, I will bypass all the work and buy my own and sneak it out when I need a candy fix from my desk drawer.  Why, because that is the way I roll.

          

Trick or Treat!!

Witchy Woman - BFF 135

     My mother loved Halloween.  She loved to dress up, decorate the house, take me trick or treating when I was a kid, and hand out Halloween candy.  We never got very many trick-or-treaters, but for those few that decided to darken our door Halloween night my mom bought bags of all her favorite candies and filled Halloween themed treat bags.  We literally had candy coming out of our ears!!!  Didn’t really have to go trick-or-treating, but we did anyway.

       One year when I was in my twenties my mom and I dressed up to attend an Oak Ridge Boys concert on Halloween night downtown at the old Elco Theatre .  My mom chose that year to dress as a witch and yours truly dressed as a court jester.  My mom really wasn’t satisfied with the plain Jane witch costume she bought. It wasn’t her and it certainly didn’t have enough sparkle to wear to see her favorite singing group.  Not only that we were sitting on the front row, knew the boys personally, and in my mother’s opinion it would never do to look like a dumpy frumpy witch in front of them. 


       She decided her witch costume needed sequins and glitz, and even suggested I should spice mine up too.  She added black sequins to her witch’s dress,  wore spiked 3 inch high heels, adorned herself with sparkly jewelry, and the classic black witches hat.  She looked like a rich witch from the right side of the tracks.  We both looked pretty good.  Unfortunately neither one of us won the top costume prize…that went to some guy who came in a garbage can and covered himself with trash…seriously.

         It wasn’t the fact that we went to a concert that night, or the fact we rubbed elbows with the Oak Ridge Boys before and after the concert.  Those details have faded with time.  What I remember best about my witchy mother was what she did when we got home.  You have to understand…we lived across the street from a very busy bank at the time with an equally busy ATM machine and drive up windows.  I don’t remember why we made a trip home…maybe we forgot something.  That must have been it…because it was still light out and the bank was swarming with cars .  My mom peeled rubber into the driveway stirring up a dust cloud in her wake, jumped out of the car, and heisted her witchy skirt to her thighs, squatted and took a very satisfying pi$$ right there on the front lawn in front of G0d, sunny Je$u$, and everyone waiting their turn at the bank!!!

          At the time, I laughed my a$$ off at the sight of a Halloween witch on Halloween taking a fresh pi$$ in full view of everyone and his brother. It was hysterical…witch hat and all.  I can still see my mother with a look of contented bliss and relief clouding her features that I don’t recall seeing before or since that precise moment.  It was peeing at it’s finest.  You know the kind….where you have to go so BAD and finally unleash the fury and dump enough urine to fill half of Lake Michigan.  She simply couldn’t have waited to unlock the door, dash down the hall, and use the bathroom.  It was either squat and pee on the lawn as G0d intended or pee her pants and I can tell you my mom had no intention of doing that!  At the time, I am sure she didn’t care one iota that half the free world was watching.

      Even this many years later, I have to chuckle at this priceless Halloween memory of my mom.  I am afraid it is a memory that will be ingrained in my brain until the day I die.  Much better than pi$$ing your witch duds on the biggest bewitching night of the year.    Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

Time for a Brilliant Disguise!

      It is the first day of October and with the icy breezes of fall changing the leaves to vibrant shades of red, orange, and yellow, there comes an urgency to find the perfect Halloween costume for the 31st.

      I have always loved Halloween!  The chance to be anything your heart desires on one night is just to good to pass up.  Assuming another identity, getting dressed up, and heading out into the night for trick or treats is what makes Halloween fun.

     When I was a kid I looked forward to the day when my parents would take me to the local dime store to pick out a costume.  In those days the costumes had a mask and a costume that would tie on.  You could be anything your heart desired from Minnie Mouse to a clown or a princess.  Not only did I look forward to trick or treating, but also the Halloween parties at school where we were allowed to dress up and have treats with our classmates.  I was disappointed to discover that by the time my kids reached elementary school this practice had been abandoned.

      Both of my kids were born right before Halloween and I made certain both of my babies had costumes to wear for that first year.  My daughter was the sweetest little pumpkin, and my son a red hot chili pepper.  Little did I know at the time that those costumes actually would later define their emerging personalities!  Over the years they have transformed on Halloween night into a giraffe, dragon, witch,  Eeyore, a green M&M, Buzz Lightyear, Optimus Prime, a Twister game, and even a pair of pirates.

      Whether you buy your costume or assemble it from odds and ends around the house, dressing up and assuming a different identity for one night is simply to delicious to resist!!  There are several sites online with ideas for cool costumes you can make, from Family Fun to Michaels.  Or you can even order a ready made costume with a big price tag that screams ouch upon purchase.  I have found several costumes in second hand stores like Once Upon a Child over the years.  Although some moms have little problem selling off used Halloween costumes once they have been worn, I have saved every single one.

       I was lucky to work several places where we were allowed to dress up for Halloween.  It always made the work day more festive and fun.  Time on those days flew.  My favorite costumes that I have worn have to have been a cow complete with udders,(somebody milk me!), and a black cat complete with ears and a tail! (Meow!!!!)  Holidays make life fun and create memories that last a lifetime.  What disguises will come out on Halloween night???  It is to soon to tell!!  Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.