It is really easy to form an ideal image of yourself in your mind if you avoid your reflection at all costs. In my mind, I still look young and vibrant, and I look good much as the kitten does as it gazes into the mirror. Like the kitten I find the reality of my appearance disturbing which is the main reason I avoid mirrors at all costs. I am no beauty queen by any stretch of the imagination. Still, my reflection won't break anyone's camera either. People don’t normally vomit when they look at me or run screaming in the other direction, so hells bells, I can’t look that bad. I often smile at strangers when out and about, and they smile back because smiles are contagious. Smiling makes everyone wonder what I have been up to, and that is exactly what I want them to think!
As much as I hate my reflection, I forced myself to gaze deeply into the mirror and really look at what I saw. What I realized as I stared myself down is that the parents I lost so long ago, were there staring back at me. I can see my mother’s features dominating the reflection-same hazel eyes, and face shape. I can see her stubbornness and courage. If I look really closely I can even see a little of my Dad. I experienced an epiphany of sorts. I realized they haven‘t completely left me. They are still here because they live in me. Their genetics are firmly woven together within me making me the person I am. They live in my appearance, personality, and in almost every facet…I can see the best parts of them in me. I see their zest for life. When I look past what I consider my damning faults, I see a person full of pi$$ and vinegar with a twinkle in her eye having a tad bit more fun than she should be. I see a woman that can handle anything life throws at her because I have little choice to do anything else. The realization is comforting. Not only do they live on vividly in my memories, but through me in my actions and laughter.
Like Simba of the Disney classic “The Lion King” I looked in my reflection and found those who I thought had abandoned me and were lost forever. I found the best part of me. I found the giggly, sparkly person out shining the fat lady with the bad hair. I found me and realized I am not half bad. I can’t help but grin and celebrate my discovery until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
While contemplating the concept of nature versus nurtureI had an epiphany. Even though both of my parents have passed on from this life, they continue to live through me and my children. How can this be you ask?? They are dead. Right? No. They live in me and through me, in them. Not only have we acquired genetics from them so that we somewhat resemble each other but we also have acquired some of their mannerisms. Through their nurturing, I have learned how to nurture my own children.
Not only do I still use some of their favorite expressions which have been tucked carefully into my repertoire to be unleashed onto unsuspecting folks in the blink of an eye, but I have also acquired my mother’s zest for life and my father’s wit and funny bone. I am capable of being spontaneous. I am blessed with my mom’s looks, and a pleasing mix of both their personalities.
They both lovingly nurtured me from the moment I took my first breath until the day they died and left me to my own devices. I am outspoken like my mom and tell it just how it is without the candy coating. I am capable of delivering one liners that leave people’s jaws dropping followed by smirks and heart felt belly laughs like my dad. They taught me how to be strong and self reliant by their example. My mom was the original trucker’s wife… and I live my life by her example enjoying it, embracing it, and looking forward to when that semi truck will grace the drive way once again. It takes a strong woman to keep the home fires burning, juggle the kids and keep them from growing up to be complete a$$holes without a strong dominant male influence at home every night. So far so good. I expect nothing less.
Like both of my parents, I love to play games!! Card games, board games, LEGO games, and the latest: Upwords! I have passed this love on to my kids. My mother’s love of reading burns brightly within me and is shared with both my children. They see me read and write, and I read to them nightly without fail. In response, they mimic me. Both kids are math whizzes, much like my mom before them.
Glimpses of my son’s bravery have astounded me lately. His ability to handle what ever comes his way with determination reminds me of my mom, and his daring to try the bungee jump at the mall astounded me. Of course, my mom was always up for anything, so maybe that is where he got it from. I would never even contemplate such a thing, and although the experience scared the Be Je$u$ out of the both of us…he did it. I still can’t believe I paid $6.00 to have my kid attached to bungee cords, allowed him to jump on a trampoline, and be lifted to within feet of the high ceilings at the mall!! The fact he had the balls to even attempt such a thing blows me away!
Much as both of my parents loved to cook, I continue that tradition as well preparing their recipes and creating my own. Instead of having my kids learn by observation as my mom liked to do with me, I take after my dad and allow them to learn by doing. More comparisons could be made, but I am sure you get the drift. Even as you analyze your own life you may begin to realize that whomever influenced your life also lives through you.
Through me they learn the basic rules of survival through observation and how to enjoy the simple pleasures of life. To seek the simple pleasures and then find happiness within them. To be happy with the blessings they have been given and laugh with gusto. I have no doubt that one day I will live on through them much as my parents live through them and me. Between the genetic forces of nature and the continuous love and nurturing, we will all live on through many ancestors to come as those that have come before us. Reflecting on the past gives incredible insight into the future. Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
Like both of my parents, I love to play games!! Card games, board games, LEGO games, and the latest: Upwords! I have passed this love on to my kids. My mother’s love of reading burns brightly within me and is shared with both my children. They see me read and write, and I read to them nightly without fail. In response, they mimic me. Both kids are math whizzes, much like my mom before them. 
