Writing, blogging, hunting and peck typing….they are all related. There are words on the page, right? Yes, there are. So I am writing. That is half the battle with writers block. Just sit down and type. Type random thoughts at the top of your head and let them flow on the screen. Who said it had to be perfect? Me. That is why a lot of things get backspaced and deleted into oblivion, simply because letting just anything flow on the page often ends up looking like raw sewage. It stinks…BAD. Where is the industrial size can of Febreeze when you need it?
What amazes me is then a person puts that raw sewage out there. You fan the stench by sharing it on every social media platform known to man hoping, against hope, that some sorry bastard will be curious, follow that link, and read it, and maybe even form enough of an opinion to actually comment on it. Deep down in your heart, you know it is raunchy and crusty. You know or believe it sucks. Still you post it anyways just to prove you can. You wax poetic. You post it because, honestly, that is all you got! Wonders of wonders, folks stop in and read the raw sewage that flowed out of your brain and actually comment. If you are like me, you try to avoid the ole inbox because deep down you know what you wrote was shit, the simple ramblings from a very foggy brain, but you still want people to LIKE your shit. Your inbox fills up to overflowing. Amazed you simply can’t resist going there and reading what they have to say about what you wrote. You HAVE to know.
At that point, if you are me, you become hopelessly confused. Do these people actually LIKE shit or are they just being polite? Have they bought into that ‘say something nice or don’t say anything at all’ that you have been spoon fed since birth and follow it to a tee? They know it is shit, you know it is shit, but still they spout that “this is so poignant, so brilliantly written BS” and you know what? You buy it. You want to believe the fairytale that your writing is actually good. You so desperately want people to get you. Understand where you are coming from, that you thank them, are unbelievably floored by their amazing comments, and rush right out with your dreams and heart on your sleeve and write more drivel once again.
It is a vicious cycle, I tell you! Lately it has driven me up the proverbial wall. So far up, that I am in danger of plunging off and shattering into a million pieces, much like Humpty Dumpty. Quickly checking to make sure I am not really SHAPED like him. No, no I am not. At least, I am not shaped like that YET. Then there is the question, if I can have this much diarrhea of the brain spewing forth onto the computer screen…am I truly blocked after all? Am I just a sorry lazy ass? Do I need the metaphorical enema to spew forth a piece of writing which is actually entertaining and brilliantly written? Obviously, yes, yes I do… because the bottom line is…I AM full of shit. You know it, I know it, and everybody knows it.
With that said, how do you battle that dreaded writer’s block that leaves you panicked, pissed off, and feeling despondent?
1. Write!! Something, anything. Let that raw sewage flow. Let it go!!! Don’t hold back anymore. It is no fun being constipated. Let it spew forth and free you!
2. Don’t worry. Be happy!
3. Laugh! Giggle until you pee your pants, your belly hurts, and fluids are leaking from every known orifice then transfer that unbridled glee to that blank screen. Let people THINK you drink hair spray and you are bat shit crazy if that is what does it for you and then write that shit down!! God knows, you must document this moment, if for no other reason than because you can.
4. Read. Yes, you heard me. Read other people’s work. If they can write it, so can you!
5. Believe in yourself. That is one I have to work on big time. Believe you can instead of believing you suck and can’t.
6. Last but not least, if you got nothing after all that, walk away for a while. If you are not feeling it, don't force it. Sleep, drink, eat, and be merry doing something else. When you come back refreshed, you may be surprised to find your words have returned with you. Start back at square one and let those pigeons loose. Let it go!
What amazes me is then a person puts that raw sewage out there. You fan the stench by sharing it on every social media platform known to man hoping, against hope, that some sorry bastard will be curious, follow that link, and read it, and maybe even form enough of an opinion to actually comment on it. Deep down in your heart, you know it is raunchy and crusty. You know or believe it sucks. Still you post it anyways just to prove you can. You wax poetic. You post it because, honestly, that is all you got! Wonders of wonders, folks stop in and read the raw sewage that flowed out of your brain and actually comment. If you are like me, you try to avoid the ole inbox because deep down you know what you wrote was shit, the simple ramblings from a very foggy brain, but you still want people to LIKE your shit. Your inbox fills up to overflowing. Amazed you simply can’t resist going there and reading what they have to say about what you wrote. You HAVE to know.
At that point, if you are me, you become hopelessly confused. Do these people actually LIKE shit or are they just being polite? Have they bought into that ‘say something nice or don’t say anything at all’ that you have been spoon fed since birth and follow it to a tee? They know it is shit, you know it is shit, but still they spout that “this is so poignant, so brilliantly written BS” and you know what? You buy it. You want to believe the fairytale that your writing is actually good. You so desperately want people to get you. Understand where you are coming from, that you thank them, are unbelievably floored by their amazing comments, and rush right out with your dreams and heart on your sleeve and write more drivel once again.
It is a vicious cycle, I tell you! Lately it has driven me up the proverbial wall. So far up, that I am in danger of plunging off and shattering into a million pieces, much like Humpty Dumpty. Quickly checking to make sure I am not really SHAPED like him. No, no I am not. At least, I am not shaped like that YET. Then there is the question, if I can have this much diarrhea of the brain spewing forth onto the computer screen…am I truly blocked after all? Am I just a sorry lazy ass? Do I need the metaphorical enema to spew forth a piece of writing which is actually entertaining and brilliantly written? Obviously, yes, yes I do… because the bottom line is…I AM full of shit. You know it, I know it, and everybody knows it.
With that said, how do you battle that dreaded writer’s block that leaves you panicked, pissed off, and feeling despondent?
1. Write!! Something, anything. Let that raw sewage flow. Let it go!!! Don’t hold back anymore. It is no fun being constipated. Let it spew forth and free you!
2. Don’t worry. Be happy!
3. Laugh! Giggle until you pee your pants, your belly hurts, and fluids are leaking from every known orifice then transfer that unbridled glee to that blank screen. Let people THINK you drink hair spray and you are bat shit crazy if that is what does it for you and then write that shit down!! God knows, you must document this moment, if for no other reason than because you can.
4. Read. Yes, you heard me. Read other people’s work. If they can write it, so can you!
5. Believe in yourself. That is one I have to work on big time. Believe you can instead of believing you suck and can’t.
6. Last but not least, if you got nothing after all that, walk away for a while. If you are not feeling it, don't force it. Sleep, drink, eat, and be merry doing something else. When you come back refreshed, you may be surprised to find your words have returned with you. Start back at square one and let those pigeons loose. Let it go!
Before you know it, writer’s block will be
a thing of the past.
