Kitchen Catastrophes

     Kitchen catastrophes happen to the best of us.  I will say before I begin that I have went a long time since breaking anything or dropping anything I just took out of the oven on the floor. I haven’t flooded the kitchen lately either.  I have been really good.  Life has rolled merrily along without any kind of calamity, until yesterday.

      Yesterday after seeing both kids off to school I went about making my usual diet breakfast of one poached egg, one piece of toast, and glass of orange juice.  Since my husband is gone more than he is not, I save all the papers our kids have done at school for him to see when he finally arrives on the scene.  Up until yesterday I kept those papers on the microwave next to the toaster.  I didn’t pay any never mind that the stacks of papers were a little close to the toaster, I just popped in my bread and went about my business.  Before long I noticed a burning smell. Confused by this, I went over to get my toast and realized to my horror that the pages closest to the toaster had been scorched.  Oh $hit and sunny Je$us!  There is nothing like starting the day by trying to burn down the house to get the ole heart pumping a little faster.  Needless to say the papers are in a different location now.

 

       The day progressed.  I spent most of it wrapping Christmas presents and am proud to say that little task is finished.  Life marched on and I did my thing.  It wasn’t until I was cooking supper when the real catastrophe happened.  I was standing at my stove turning the chicken I was cooking.  I had Brussels sprouts on the back burner.  Like so many times in the past, I placed a glass lid over the pan so that the water would come to a boil faster.  The glass lid had come with one of my deeper skillets.  Before I knew what hit the glass lid exploded into a million tiny glass pieces leaving only the metal ring that once housed the glass and the round handle.  It scared the living $hit out of me!  I had to dump the Brussels sprouts and clean all the glass off the stove before I could prepare a plan B of green beans.  I would have never dreamed that would have happened and I am sure I lost 10 years off my life from the experience.

         Who would have thought a lid manufactured for the sole purpose of covering a hot pan would explode and shatter like that?  I sure didn’t, not in my wildest dreams.  I guess you live and learn until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.