This writing challenge has sat in the hopper since Sunday and I have waited to write it knowing full well what my guilty pleasure is. I have circled it, read others submissions, and kept coming back to it unsure if I wanted to admit my biggest temptation to the world. Like everyone else, I love chocolate. I also love strawberries, and blueberries. Pizza is something else I can eat until rapture. However there is one guilty pleasure my brain keeps coming back to again and again. The thought won't leave me alone. It is something I simply can not resist. When faced with a bag of Cheddar and Sour Cream Ruffles potato chips, I simply can not stop eating them!! I can’t stop with one, or even two. I find myself sneaking one, two, and a handful more until suddenly I realize the bag is empty!! There are no more!! Some a$$hole has eaten ALL the Ruffles Sour Cream and Cheddar Potato Chips!!!! Surely there must be MORE!! I search, knowing full well that there are no more.
As soon as each of my kids arrive home from school I confront them with the empty bag. “Was it you? Did you get into the potato chips? I just bought them yesterday! I can not BELIEVE they are already GONE! What the hell?” I am trying really hard to act overcome with outraged self righteous justice when deep down I know who ate every single last crumb of those tasty, delightful potato chips. My kids look at me in outrage proclaiming they had been at school!! They only had a small bowl of chips yesterday. How in the world could they already be GONE?? MOM!!! Are you mental?
When it comes to potato chips, maybe I am. The evidence is everywhere. Empty chip bag with only a few crumbs remaining, and the most telling: the profile reflection of my a$$. Oh sunny Je$us, my a$$ is the size of a third world country! Then there are the few lingering crumbs resting on my shirt, that I hurriedly brush away. The kids aren‘t stupid. They know full well WHO ate all the chips. They are mad because there are none left for them. “I admit it! It was me! I ate every last crumb of those wonderful potato chips! I don’t know how it happened. I was simply writing, and reading blogs, passing out comment love, when suddenly there were no more Ruffles Sour Cream and Cheddar potato chips! I must work out!! I must make amends! I am so sorry, please forgive me! ”
Guilt overwhelms me, but I know that if faced with another bag of those heavenly chips I would do it again. Yes I would. I would eat every last chip and to hell with the consequences. That is one guilty pleasure I have yet to be able to say no to. I have confessed and said my peace. My secret is out. No bag of Ruffles potato chips is safe around me. I inhale the damn things like a human vacuum. It is a true pity they can not find a way to make it so the more chips you eat the more weight you lose. Wouldn’t that be amazing?? I can dream until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
