Friday, May 18, 2012

Guilty Pleasures


      This writing challenge has sat in the hopper since Sunday and I have waited to write it knowing full well what my guilty pleasure is.  I have circled it, read others submissions, and kept coming back to it unsure if I wanted to admit my biggest temptation to the world.   Like everyone else, I love chocolate.  I also love strawberries, and blueberries.  Pizza is something else I can eat until rapture.  However there is one guilty pleasure my brain keeps coming back to again and again.  The thought won't leave me alone.   It is something I simply can not resist.  When faced with a bag of Cheddar and Sour Cream Ruffles potato chips, I simply can not stop eating them!!  I can’t stop with one, or even two.  I find myself sneaking one, two, and a handful more until suddenly I realize the bag is empty!!  There are no more!! Some a$$hole has eaten ALL the Ruffles Sour Cream and Cheddar Potato Chips!!!! Surely there must be MORE!!  I search, knowing full well that there are no more.


       As soon as each of my kids arrive home from school I confront them with the empty bag.  “Was it you? Did you get into the potato chips?  I just bought them yesterday! I can not BELIEVE they are already GONE!  What the hell?”   I am trying really hard to act overcome with outraged self righteous justice when deep down I know who ate every single last crumb of those tasty, delightful potato chips.  My kids look at me in outrage proclaiming they had been at school!!  They only had a small bowl of chips yesterday.  How in the world could they already be GONE?? MOM!!! Are you mental?




         When it comes to potato chips, maybe I am.  The evidence is everywhere.  Empty chip bag with only a few crumbs remaining, and the most telling: the profile reflection of my a$$.  Oh sunny Je$us, my a$$ is the size of a third world country!  Then there are the few lingering crumbs resting on my shirt, that I hurriedly brush away.  The kids aren‘t stupid.  They know full well WHO ate all the chips.  They are mad because there are none left for them.  “I admit it!  It was me!  I ate every last crumb of those wonderful potato chips!  I don’t know how it happened.  I was simply writing, and reading blogs, passing out comment love, when suddenly there were no more Ruffles Sour Cream and Cheddar potato chips!  I must work out!!  I must make amends!  I am so sorry, please forgive me! ”

            Guilt overwhelms me, but I know that if faced with another bag of those heavenly chips I would do it again.  Yes I would. I would eat every last chip and to hell with the consequences. That is one guilty pleasure I have yet to be able to say no to.  I have confessed and said my peace.  My secret is out.  No bag of Ruffles potato chips is safe around me.  I inhale the damn things like a human vacuum.  It is a true pity they can not find a way to make it so the more chips you eat the more weight you lose. Wouldn’t that be amazing??  I can dream until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.





26 comments:

  1. OMG this is ME! I've taken to buying bags of chips for the boys lunch snacks but instead I've been FEASTING on them at night. With a glass of gingerale. ANd yes. While reading blogs! Chips and blogs! That's what it is, we're addicted to both! And last night I was confronted in the same way: I left some crumbs for the boys. "Mom, you ate this WHOLE bag?"

    Guess what. I just bought another bag today. Well, they were on SALE....

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    1. Sandra, Yes we are!! It doesn't have to be Ruffles, but those chips are the bomb!!! I can be just as greedy with any potato chips. :D Thank you for stopping by to read and comment! ♥ Chips on sale are the BEST kind of chips!!

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  2. YUM!!!! I love Wise Chips best, myself. They did make those 'diet' chips a few years ago with the olestra oil stuff that had some unpleasant side effects!!! lol

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    1. JoJo, oh hell no!! Not diet chips!! LOLOLOLOL I remember that olestra oil business! LOL Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments!! Any chips, really, are my kind of chips!

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  3. You're too funny. Well-- Who stole the chips from the potato chip bag??

    Yes YOU!!

    LOLOL. Cheers, Jenn.

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    1. Jenn, na na na boo boo!! LOLOLOLOLOL Yes it was me, but I was trying to capture that whole guilty pleasure angle! Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments!! ♥

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  4. It depends. I love chips, but at... um, certain times, I crave them more than others. But mine wouldn't be sour cream and onion (tho that is great) but BarBQ. Oh, I am drooling just thinking on having some right now... Hmm. Excuse me, I thinks someone in the kitchen is calling me...

    Cat

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    1. Cat, sounds like the barbecue chips are calling you like the regular and sour cream and cheddar chips call me. Those chips know me by name!! LOL Thanks for stopping by to read and for your fun comments! ♥

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  5. Screw guilt, it is a crucial survival tactic to hide your favorite treat.

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    1. Gene Pool Diva, Yes!! Amen!! Screw guilt!! Bring on the chips!! Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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  6. Too cute. Just got addicted to a black pepper and sea salt fried in olive oil potato chip. There's just no stopping when the bag is opened!

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    1. Amy, now that sounds kind of good!! I know exactly what you mean there! We can go through a bag of chips in one sitting around here. They just don't last long. I don't feel near as guilty if we all got some of them. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments!♥

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  7. From one fellow chip monster to another...I love chips! I'll tell you a secret, Kathy...every night when all are asleep, I love to have a giant Snyder's pretzel with a glass of milk. My favorite chips are kettle potato chips with sea salt. Yum! :0)

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    1. Beachlover, now that sounds good too!! Yum!! Thanks for stopping by to read and for your comments!♥

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  8. Now you've got me craving for some...Mmmmm

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    1. Corinne, I know...they are so hard to resist!! LOL Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments!♥

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  9. I agree with you on these for sure!! Now, I'm going to stop thinking about them.

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    1. pbquig, good luck!! Just answering comments about them makes me want to have some. My mouth is literally watering! LOL thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments! ♥

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  10. I know it's only 8:30 in the morning, but you got me craving a bag of crispy, greasy, salty chips. Yum! Unfortunately, I can no longer eat them because of my migraines.

    Have a great day..

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    1. Roe, not exactly the healthiest thing for breakfast. I didn't know that you shouldn't have chips if you suffer from migraines. Thank you for the tip! I will have to try to control myself a little. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments!♥

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  11. Love it! I can do the same with just plain chips (my family hates plain...more for me)!

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    1. Anna, thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments! YAY you! to get more chips! ♥

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  12. A big ole bag of chips, anything except plain, though IF plain, dip will work~makes me soooooo happy. I am hooked on the darkest ones and a local Michigan company makes Dark Chips....oooooooooohhhhh sooooooo goooooooood. Other than those, I will eat the entire bag of ruffles anything in one sitting. The bags are smaller than they used to be! That's my story and me and my big butt are stickin' to it! ♥

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    1. Jo, we should get together and demolish a bag of chips a piece and some dip!! YUMMY! Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments!♥

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  13. OMG! I adore those exact chips. So much so that I almost never buy them because there's no way I won't eat the whole bag, no matter how big it is.

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    1. Word Nerd, like you I very rarely buy these exact chips because they last about 5 seconds at my house. If I don't inhale them all by myself, between my two kids and me the bag will be flatten in about 10-15 minutes flat. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments! ♥

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