Dog Days of Summer- BFF 217

      Just as the start of a new school year approaches it seems like the dog days of summer have fled to parts unknown.  Here in the heart of the Midwest the temperatures have dropped to the refreshingly cool 60’s and 70’s, the skies have become overcast, and thankfully the rain has finally fallen.  To look about you would have never guessed the area had ever been gripped by a scorching drought.   The parched lawns and dismal croaked over flowers have finally made a come back.

       I admit that I have never been a big fan of heat and humidity. I have been allergic to everything but cockroaches ever since I could remember.  Because of this, I never ventured outside much when I was younger unless it was to the beach or there was the beckoning promise of a dip in a swimming pool.  I hated the blood thirsty mosquitoes and took no pleasure in the annual invasion of the earwigs or the annoying fleas who tried to take a vacation on my dogs and cat.  This summer has been different for me.  When the school bell rang for the last time at the beginning of summer vacation, I welcomed it with open arms.  I actually looked forward to the 24/7 company of my kids.  I took the bickering in stride, armed myself with pesticides to murder evil bugs, and spent more time outside walking and in the pool with the kids and even more time guzzling water from my water bottle.  A little more peeing was involved due to the water bottle, but it was all good.

         The sun beat down all through the month of June and July hotter than the fires of hell without a drop of rain in sight and because of it every living thing trying to grow either died or suffered.  For the first time in memory the town’s fireworks were cancelled due to a county wide ban.  It was literally drier than a popcorn fart and everyday was filled with watering the lawn and garden.  I felt like the Mr. Donut man, instead of time to make the donuts it was time to move the sprinkler.   The 4th of July passed much like any other day.  Fair organizers probably wished the drought would continue despite the threat of a stray cigarette.  Fate took its course.    The heavens waited to burst for the fair.   I was at the fair for one of those downpours.  Thrilled it was finally raining, my family didn’t let it deter us one bit.  We ran hell bent for election from one place to the next splashing puddles and gasping for breath laughing all the way while others cowered in doorways and barns.

          It may have been hotter than hell outside but it was comfortable in the house.  The standing joke all summer has been that it is snowing in my bedroom.  The room houses the biggest honking air conditioner of the two we possess and it packs a powerful punch.  While comfortably cool everywhere else, in my room it is colder than a witches tit in the Klondike.  Penguins could live happily there.  I wouldn’t have it any other way though.  I still remember those scorching days before air conditioning when sweat flowed freely down my a$$ crack even with the fans going full blast.

        Another thing I love about summer is all the barbecuing going on.  This year I made up my mind I was going to become a master of the barbecue grill.  No more was I going to wait 3 weeks for my husband to roll into town to enjoy meat from the grill.  Oh hell no.  This year I grabbed the bull by the balls and learned.  The result was that the kitchen stayed a lot cooler, and I became a master of marinades, barbecue sauces, and basting.   The summer was punctuated with not only long walks but golf cart rides and the roar of my husband’s racing lawn tractor as he raced around the yard spinning tires and kicking up dust.

          My summer has held all the best things this year: barbecues, swimming, a trip to the zoo, camping, ice cream, sun block, a fair amount of exploring local parks and the Wellfield Botanical Gardens, cotton candy from the fair, picking blueberries, and a trip to the local cheese factory.  Instead of only my ole computer chair showing the wear and tear, my tennis shoes have gotten mileage as well.   Despite the dog days of summer and the plague of frequent migraines, I have soldiered on until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.