Several years back
when my kids were still small I was downtown on my way to the local
library. The library has a microscopic
size parking lot and if you aren’t fortunate enough to find a place there you are
forced to either park on the street or plan to walk a few city blocks from a
public free lot. Since I am not the best
at parallel parking, I usually do laps until a place opens up that I can pull
into.
That particular
day I had my head up my ass a little more than usual. I had circled the library looking for a place
to park several times. Without thinking
I turned toward the library’s lot in hopes that a place had opened up. It didn’t take long for me to realize that a
line of traffic was coming straight at me. Holy shit and sunny Jesus!!!! I was
going the wrong way on a one way street in a place I should have known better. I almost shit my pants, literally!! Instead of going back there was nowhere to go
but forward so I floored the accelerator and zoomed into the library’s parking
lot like a bat out of hell jumping a curb and hyperventilating all the way.
My heart was in
my throat and racing. I simply could not
get my breath. Thank God and sunny Jesus
there were no cops around to witness that little spectacle because I am sure I
would have had some big time explaining to do.
The cops probably would have given me a breathalyzer, sure that I was
three sheets to the moon drunk, and hauled my happy ass straight to jail for
that little stunt. Go straight to jail, do not pass go, and pass
over $200.00 plus. Fortunately the only repercussion
from the whole event was the racing stripe in my underwear. Until now, I have never told a living soul
this little tidbit of my sordid past.
The truth is out and my conscious is clear. You live and you learn and from that day on,
I pay a bit more attention and keep my eyes, ears, and brain tuned into the
road!




