When I was a kid my most frequent playmates were me, myself, and I. When I wasn’t otherwise engaged with myself I occasionally got to play with my cousins Tony or Connie. Eventually they both moved away and playtime stopped. Of the two, my favorite was my cousin Connie who I could play Barbie’s with. As we grew older we would pretend we were Laverne and Shirley from TV and have dates with Donny Osmond and his brother Jay. We would double date and pretend they were coming over for dinner. Then we prepare food in her play kitchen for the date. Sometimes we would simply baby sit baby dolls and pretend we had our own business. It was a blast!
Both cousins had swimming pools and lived at houses with big garages. Both of their dad’s were truck drivers like mine. My dad often took me with him when he was planning on working on his truck so I could play with my cousins or go swimming.
Once I got into school playmates came and went depending on whether we were in the same class or not. Normally you tended to cling to someone in your class. Once they were no longer in your class, those playmates drifted away. My mom was not big on inviting friends over so having playmates from school come over for the afternoon or night was never an option for me.
Because of this, I believe I learned to enjoy my own company best. I knew how to keep myself entertained whether by playing with my dolls, playing in the playhouse out back, or swinging on the swings that were a prominent feature in the backyard. I loved to read and could often be found lost within the pages of a book in my room. Because of my allergies, I didn’t rush outside to play often. I don’t remember being lonely. I don’t ever remember wishing I could have my playmates over from school. I would play with them at school, and then when I went home the relationship stayed at school. If someone invited me to a party or over for a play date then my mom was more than willing to let me go. Asking to have someone to my house was out of the question. She never said it was not allowed. I simply knew not to ask.
In retrospect I honestly believe that after a while the invitations quit coming because they were never reciprocated. Home was an escape from those who taunted me at school. I certainly never grew up having the notion I wanted to invite anyone in. Like my mom, I view my house as my sanctuary. I rarely have guests. It would be just too weird!! When guests come I feel as if the house has to be immaculate, and in my opinion that is entirely too much stress for a lady who has never felt cleaning was a treasured hobby. I never had friends that were at my house so much that they seemed like they were part of the furniture.
Back then I couldn’t understand why playmates avoided me like the plague. In retrospect I think it is because they were never invited to my house. They would invite me and I would go. At that point the interaction would end. I always kept people at arms length. I learned early you can really only truly rely on yourself. Pinning your hopes on others just brings to many disappointments and heartaches until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
