Popularity

The following is my submission for the Writer's Post Blog Hop hosted this week by Jennifer Wilck at Fried Oreos.    

       Isn’t it amazing how time, experience, and the artful process of aging makes a person wiser and realize things in hindsight that it sure would have been convenient to know back in the day?  When I was growing up I would have given my future offspring’s nuts to be popular and well liked and have the golden key to the popularity crapper.  I was involved in lots of activities and knew a lot of kids.  In hindsight it may have been my personality and tendency to fly below the radar while keeping to myself that kept me apart from the popular kids.  I didn’t have the “look”, I didn’t talk the “talk”, and I was pretty independent in my thinking which meant I didn’t let others sway me.  I did my own thing and without even realizing it I kept to my own devices and skimmed the outskirts of the cliques.

 

      That didn’t mean that I didn’t antagonize about “why” the beautiful people didn’t welcome me into their numbers with open arms.  I honestly thought that there was something wrong with me.  In hindsight I realize it was their loss and something was probably more wrong with them than me.  It depressed the living hell out of me at the time though.    My daughter observes the “in” crowd as being rude and a tad obnoxious.  I laugh when she describes them as thinking they are all that with a bag of chips and on the whole prissy or idiots.  Obviously she is not impressed.  Several popular kids in the 6th grade are supposedly “going” together.  The smart ass in me wonders “Just where the hell can they GO when they can’t drive?”  Evidently the dynamics of “going together” has changed since when I was a kid.  Now the couple barely speaks to each other or is seen with each other.  Back in the day if kids were “going together” they were seen holding hands or standing so close to each other that it was a sure thing their personal space was being violated.  The girls drew hearts in their notebooks proclaiming so and so plus so and so.  You could tell they were “together”.  

        Bottom line, popularity doesn’t impress me much.  What does impress me is my opinion of the person or thing.  If I like them or it, that matters more to me than if everyone is doing it, if everyone else likes them or if it happens to be the “in” thing or “the“ person to associate with.  I may try it or extend friendship to that person, but if it doesn’t do it for me or I don’t like them I am apt to choose my own way despite what the masses think.  Everyone does the best they can.  There are billions of people in this world.  Chances are you are going to find somewhere to fit in with and be accepted for who you are.  In my book it would be far more important to be me than be a clone of whoever happens to be “all that” today.  I am an individual.  Every single person is a miracle of G0d’s creation and far as I can tell, G0d doesn’t screw up.  So with that in mind, everyone has something to contribute to this big ole world we live in.  What or who happens to be the most popular of all is simply what or who has the most exposure being the best it or they can be.  When people recognize those simple facts popularity begins.  Popularity can be a double edge sword though.  Those always in the spotlight show every imperfection in the glare and in the process offer themselves up for criticism.  When push comes to shove to hell with popularity, I would just rather be me.

Popularity

     What does it take to be popular?? Obviously I never did figure out the winning equation because I was never popular. Generally we as a people flock to others who appear successful, or like they got it all figured out. They are popular because their success leaves the rest of us envious and struggling to emulate them so we can be popular too. They exude a confidence we envy. They are funny. They are talented. They appear to enjoy life.



     I skirted the fringes of the in crowd while in school . My mom was delusional in those days because she thought I was popular due to the fact that no matter where we went, everyone would say hello to me. Just because people are friendly and say hello, doesn’t make them your bosom friends…and it sure doesn’t make you part of the “in” crowd. Even I had enough brains to figure that out.

     Perhaps it was my personality that kept me apart. Most likely it was the fact that I just didn’t get the popular kids and their tendency to act like their $hit smelled just a tad sweeter than most. That attitude never impressed me much and still doesn’t. I wasn’t impressed with people who got their jollies over torturing someone or having a laugh at someone’s expense. Why?? To often I was the tortured one. I knew what it was like to be an outcast and I had no intention of treating others the way I had been treated . I knew exactly what it felt like to be invisible. I was invisible. Still am, and I am good at it! 

     Still like any other teenager I longed for popularity. I longed to be accepted. I was like many who tried to be like the others, but since I simply wasn’t like them…I failed miserably. I wasn’t one of the beautiful people. I didn’t have the look. I didn’t act cool. I didn’t know the right things to say. No matter how hard I tried…I couldn’t impress the beautiful people enough to accept me into their group. Sure I was involved in a lot of things in school which put me into the radar of the beautiful people, but it still never made me one of them. Looking back, I realize now that if I simply let the real me emerge things might have been a little different because now I tend to have more confidence than I ever thought of having back then. May the real Kathy now stand up! Yes, that is me…the giggling one jumping up and down waving my hands.

      The older you get you realize in the big scheme of things all people essentially are the same. We all are born, put our pants on the same way, and ultimately die. If only we could learn from birth the notion that if you are kind to others, they will be kind in return and everyone is a potential friend!! Wouldn't that be great?? Then many people would never experience teasing and ridicule, only love and acceptance.   Maybe then there would be no popularity issues and everyone would be truly equal living happily ever after as friends as G0d intended. Still on the other hand, everyone is magically different...and I would rather be me than anyone else for the sake of popularity.  Let's face it, if you are popular for some fake persona you project to the world, the prize isn't nearly as sweet.   Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.