What does it take to be popular?? Obviously I never did figure out the winning equation because I was never popular. Generally we as a people flock to others who appear successful, or like they got it all figured out. They arepopularbecause their success leaves the rest of us envious and struggling to emulate them so we can be popular too. They exude a confidence we envy. They are funny. They are talented. They appear to enjoy life.
I skirted the fringes of the in crowd while in school . My mom was delusional in those days because she thought I was popular due to the fact that no matter where we went, everyone would say hello to me. Just because people are friendly and say hello, doesn’t make them your bosom friends…and it sure doesn’t make you part of the “in” crowd. Even I had enough brains to figure that out.
Perhaps it was my personality that kept me apart. Most likely it was the fact that I just didn’t get the popular kids and their tendency to act like their $hit smelled just a tad sweeter than most. That attitude never impressed me much and still doesn’t. I wasn’t impressed with people who got their jollies over torturing someone or having a laugh at someone’s expense. Why?? To often I was the tortured one. I knew what it was like to be an outcast and I had no intention of treating others the way I had been treated . I knew exactly what it felt like to be invisible. I was invisible. Still am, and I am good at it!
Still like any other teenager I longed for popularity. I longed to be accepted. I was like many who tried to be like the others, but since I simply wasn’t like them…I failed miserably. I wasn’t one of the beautiful people. I didn’t have the look. I didn’t act cool. I didn’t know the right things to say. No matter how hard I tried…I couldn’t impress the beautiful people enough to accept me into their group. Sure I was involved in a lot of things in school which put me into the radar of the beautiful people, but it still never made me one of them. Looking back, I realize now that if I simply let the real me emerge things might have been a little different because now I tend to have more confidence than I ever thought of having back then. May the real Kathy now stand up! Yes, that is me…the giggling one jumping up and down waving my hands.
The older you get you realize in the big scheme of things all people essentially are the same. We all are born, put our pants on the same way, and ultimately die. If only we could learn from birth the notion that if you are kind to others, they will be kind in return and everyone is a potential friend!! Wouldn't that be great?? Then many people would never experience teasing and ridicule, only love and acceptance. Maybe then there would be no popularityissues and everyone would be truly equal living happily ever after as friends as G0d intended. Still on the other hand, everyone is magically different...and I would rather be me than anyone else for the sake of popularity. Let's face it, if you are popular for some fake persona you project to the world, the prize isn't nearly as sweet. Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
I am surprised to see how many of the members of this group think themselves not popular and yet I think them all very popular! How can this be? I think finding oneself and then expressing oneself with your chosen means simply makes a person more likable. I think we don't know how much others think of us until the funeral. Do we know then? Well, that's another blog, isn't it? anyway...good job on this one and btw...I never miss your blogs and I really enjoy your work, so you are very popular in my world! <3
Jo, thank you so much for stopping by to read and for your extremely sweet comments!! I am so appreciative of your support of my blog and the fact you really do enjoy reading what I write. Thank you so much. You have made my night!
Cherie, I think why a lot of people tend to focus on high school for the popularity issue is because once you get past that point in life popularity really matters less and less. As a person ages I believe you really start to come into your own and realize your true self and personality. In school everyone is just trying to fit in. I am so pleased you enjoyed what I wrote. Thank you for stopping by to read and leave a comment!
I beginning to think that all of us should have gone to the same school...that way we would have had our own group and we'd all be popular! So glad I know you now and I love your writing! Thanks for being my friend!
Susan, that would have been awesome. We should have all went to the same school because then we would have been the in crowd!! I am so pleased to have you for a friend and to share our love of writing together. I am so happy that you enjoy reading what I write. The feeling is mutual. :D
I believe that I gave up on being popular after moving schools for the n-teenth time. In high school I could have cared less--if you liked me, loved me or hated me. I had many friends in high school from all 3 high schools I went to--but I knew I was just moving on again at graduation and kept myself from getting attached. Moving was hard enough--I could have really cared less about the popularity thing.
That said--Like you I did do my own thing--I was who I was--love me or leave me.
And by the way--you are NOT INVISIBLE among your friends. You are a bright spot to our day!
Drchoneydew, the top of the popularity triangle is the preps which I would think include all the athletes and prissy cheerleaders. :D Writing is a wonderful thing! LOL I think a writing group for those groups would be great, but they might look at it as an extension of homework and anything but fun. LOL Thanks for stopping in to read and comment!!
Jenn, LOL I have to say that writing has opened up a whole new world for me and the invisibility cloak is off once and for all. I am so pleased I am a bright spot. As I have gotten older I have really come out of my shell in a major way. My mom always said her life began at 40, well I would have to agree when it came to unleashing the fury of my personality to the world. It did begin for me then too. That is about the time I realized...wow...I can write. That was an amazing discovery...even better...folks like to read what I write! I tend to not get overly attached either. It is a defense mechanism from to many years of learning how to cope with rejection, isolation, and having to make my own way. Thank you for taking the time to stop by and comment!!
There is a mentoring organization called WriteGirl specifically to support teenage writers, I believe.
I like the idea of being invisible, it is a superpower that has served me well - but now I am invisible only when *I* choose to play wallflower. I'm no longer afraid to get out there with a dumb idea - which are not always as dumb as I think they might be!
We could start our own group, the Writers Formerly Known as Unpopular. :-)
I have never heard of WriteGirl!! I must say that when I was a teenager I was more the brooding artist than the writer I have become in middle age. Both rely on the muses of creativity though. I did invisibility well then. I still think I am capable of it. Something happened when I hit middle age. All of a sudden I became bubbly and full of fun...giggly but still fairly quiet. It is amazing how all of us unpopular girls have become quite the popular writers! :D Thank you for stopping by to read and comment on my post!
Word Nerd, I have to agree. In my old age (ha ha) I tend to gag at the popular kids. They are so fake you just want to shake their pious asses till their teeth rattle. LOL I have to agree dorkalicious kids grow up into great people. I adore you right back! Thanks for stopping in to add that tidbit to the thread. You made my day!
Although the popular boys from my high school were jerks, a lot of the popular girls were actually quite nice. They just never bothered to call me and invite me to hang with them. Now that I've gotten to know them a little better through Facebook, I figured I should have called them.
Oh, Kathy, you described my high school days to a "T". Since we had moved often, I didn't have any "buddies" in high school. So, I just kept to myself and tried making good grades to feel important.
It wasn't until I was 23 years old, moved to another state and making my own way that I felt good about myself. Even started flirting for the first time ever and chased after the marvelous fellow that asked me to marry him.
It takes time for most of us to realize our true personality and make our "mark" in life. I think a lot of those "popular" ones who appear to have it all together actually run aground later on. They may have been miserable all along.
Enjoyed reading your posts and the comments of others today.
Betty, it would actually be comforting to think those folks that thought they were so wonderful realized they weren't any better than anyone else later in life. I think you are right...personality is like a fine wine...better seasoned with age and experience. Thanks for stopping by to read and for your kind comments!
I skirted the fringes of the in crowd while in school . My mom was delusional in those days because she thought I was popular due to the fact that no matter where we went, everyone would say hello to me. Just because people are friendly and say hello, doesn’t make them your bosom friends…and it sure doesn’t make you part of the “in” crowd. Even I had enough brains to figure that out.
The older you get you realize in the big scheme of things all people essentially are the same. We all are born, put our pants on the same way, and ultimately die. If only we could learn from birth the notion that if you are kind to others, they will be kind in return and everyone is a potential friend!! Wouldn't that be great?? Then many people would never experience teasing and ridicule, only love and acceptance. Maybe then there would be no popularity issues and everyone would be truly equal living happily ever after as friends as G0d intended. Still on the other hand, everyone is magically different...and I would rather be me than anyone else for the sake of popularity. Let's face it, if you are popular for some fake persona you project to the world, the prize isn't nearly as sweet. Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
I am surprised to see how many of the members of this group think themselves not popular and yet I think them all very popular! How can this be? I think finding oneself and then expressing oneself with your chosen means simply makes a person more likable. I think we don't know how much others think of us until the funeral. Do we know then? Well, that's another blog, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteanyway...good job on this one and btw...I never miss your blogs and I really enjoy your work, so you are very popular in my world! <3
There seems to be a running theme of high school issues. I like your message though. Good write :D
ReplyDeleteJo, thank you so much for stopping by to read and for your extremely sweet comments!! I am so appreciative of your support of my blog and the fact you really do enjoy reading what I write. Thank you so much. You have made my night!
ReplyDeleteCherie, I think why a lot of people tend to focus on high school for the popularity issue is because once you get past that point in life popularity really matters less and less. As a person ages I believe you really start to come into your own and realize your true self and personality. In school everyone is just trying to fit in. I am so pleased you enjoyed what I wrote. Thank you for stopping by to read and leave a comment!
ReplyDeleteI beginning to think that all of us should have gone to the same school...that way we would have had our own group and we'd all be popular! So glad I know you now and I love your writing! Thanks for being my friend!
ReplyDeleteSusan, that would have been awesome. We should have all went to the same school because then we would have been the in crowd!! I am so pleased to have you for a friend and to share our love of writing together. I am so happy that you enjoy reading what I write. The feeling is mutual. :D
ReplyDeleteLOVED THIS..and NEVER would have known..if you hadn't shared...the BEAUTY of writing right?
ReplyDelete(Hey for the life of me what does it say at the top of your triangle..i can't read it)
you know..maybe there should be a WRITING GROUP blog group..artists group..something like that for HS/middle school..you are making me think :0)
I believe that I gave up on being popular after moving schools for the n-teenth time. In high school I could have cared less--if you liked me, loved me or hated me. I had many friends in high school from all 3 high schools I went to--but I knew I was just moving on again at graduation and kept myself from getting attached. Moving was hard enough--I could have really cared less about the popularity thing.
ReplyDeleteThat said--Like you I did do my own thing--I was who I was--love me or leave me.
And by the way--you are NOT INVISIBLE among your friends. You are a bright spot to our day!
Cheers, Jenn.
Drchoneydew, the top of the popularity triangle is the preps which I would think include all the athletes and prissy cheerleaders. :D Writing is a wonderful thing! LOL I think a writing group for those groups would be great, but they might look at it as an extension of homework and anything but fun. LOL Thanks for stopping in to read and comment!!
ReplyDeleteJenn, LOL I have to say that writing has opened up a whole new world for me and the invisibility cloak is off once and for all. I am so pleased I am a bright spot. As I have gotten older I have really come out of my shell in a major way. My mom always said her life began at 40, well I would have to agree when it came to unleashing the fury of my personality to the world. It did begin for me then too. That is about the time I realized...wow...I can write. That was an amazing discovery...even better...folks like to read what I write! I tend to not get overly attached either. It is a defense mechanism from to many years of learning how to cope with rejection, isolation, and having to make my own way. Thank you for taking the time to stop by and comment!!
ReplyDeleteThere is a mentoring organization called WriteGirl specifically to support teenage writers, I believe.
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of being invisible, it is a superpower that has served me well - but now I am invisible only when *I* choose to play wallflower. I'm no longer afraid to get out there with a dumb idea - which are not always as dumb as I think they might be!
We could start our own group, the Writers Formerly Known as Unpopular. :-)
I have never heard of WriteGirl!! I must say that when I was a teenager I was more the brooding artist than the writer I have become in middle age. Both rely on the muses of creativity though. I did invisibility well then. I still think I am capable of it. Something happened when I hit middle age. All of a sudden I became bubbly and full of fun...giggly but still fairly quiet. It is amazing how all of us unpopular girls have become quite the popular writers! :D Thank you for stopping by to read and comment on my post!
ReplyDeleteDorkalicious kids rock. And dorkalicious kids who grow up to be fabulous adults rock, too.
ReplyDeleteMan, I love this group. And Kathy, I just adore you. ♥
Word Nerd, I have to agree. In my old age (ha ha) I tend to gag at the popular kids. They are so fake you just want to shake their pious asses till their teeth rattle. LOL I have to agree dorkalicious kids grow up into great people. I adore you right back! Thanks for stopping in to add that tidbit to the thread. You made my day!
ReplyDeleteAlthough the popular boys from my high school were jerks, a lot of the popular girls were actually quite nice. They just never bothered to call me and invite me to hang with them. Now that I've gotten to know them a little better through Facebook, I figured I should have called them.
ReplyDeleteJoyce
http://joycelansky.blogspot.com
Joyce, funny how a person realizes things like that in hindsight. :D Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments!!
ReplyDeleteOh, Kathy, you described my high school days to a "T". Since we had moved often, I didn't have any "buddies" in high school. So, I just kept to myself and tried making good grades to feel important.
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't until I was 23 years old, moved to another state and making my own way that I felt good about myself. Even started flirting for the first time ever and chased after the marvelous fellow that asked me to marry him.
It takes time for most of us to realize our true personality and make our "mark" in life. I think a lot of those "popular" ones who appear to have it all together actually run aground later on. They may have been miserable all along.
Enjoyed reading your posts and the comments of others today.
Betty, it would actually be comforting to think those folks that thought they were so wonderful realized they weren't any better than anyone else later in life. I think you are right...personality is like a fine wine...better seasoned with age and experience. Thanks for stopping by to read and for your kind comments!
ReplyDelete