I hate it when people stare at me. I find it extremely rude. It drives me completely insane and is one of my pet peeves. My mind instantly tries to find a reason why anyone would be looking at me. Is my fly open? Is my b00b hanging out? Is there a hole that exposes my crotch? What? Take a picture and be on your way! Just quit staring! I would never make it as an actress because I could not tolerate people looking at me.
I have always been extremely protective of my kids. I went through 9 months of hell and a c-section for each just for the privilege of using the mommy title and I’ll be damned if I am going to allow just anyone come along and corrupt my kids. I can do that well enough on my own, thank you very much. I just don’t have the patience. Therefore, If my offspring went outside to play, I went out to supervise or play with them. If one farted, I knew when, who, how loud, and how bad it stunk, especially back when they were toddlers or preschoolers.
I soon noticed all the other parents in the community let their kids run wild with no supervision. I was always appalled to find extremely small children playing in the street unsupervised or toddlers running around in the nude. What the hell!! Put some clothes on your kid. I always wondered where the hell the parents were. Didn’t they care? How rude and presumptuous to simply open the door and let your kids run wild and assume someone else in the neighborhood would supervise them wherever they happen to end up.
One sunny afternoon I was outside with the kids watching them splash about in their kiddy pool. Right next to the pool, I had a sandbox which put together with the water created my own little tropical oasis right outside my door. All of a sudden I had the eerie feeling I was being watched. I looked around to discover a slew of neighbor kids on their bikes parked at the end of our driveway. One kid actually had a bag of chips and was munching along while watching us as if we were animals in the zoo.
I asked them what they wanted, and they gave me the silent treatment at which point my scheming mind decided if they were going to watch us, I was going to get something in the deal. As they continued to stare, I was beginning to get pi$$ed and just wanted them to leave. They wanted an open invitation to join in the fun my kids were having and over my dead body were they going to get it. “Take a picture, it will last longer!” Still nothing! There they sat staring us down, and it was game on. “You are being very rude!” I yelled at my tormentors. At that moment I was hit with divine inspiration. “You want to look then you are going to have to cough up $5.00! My idea grew momentum. That’s right, $5.00 a look! If you haven’t got the money get the hell out of here NOW!” Simultaneously their jaws dropped, their eyes got big, and the kid inhaling chips fell off his bike. I got off my chair and headed purposely toward the small group and they scattered and ran away as fast as they could. I turned around and caught the eye of my oldest and we all burst into a fit of giggles.
Take a picture and leave immediately, do not pass Go, do not collect $200.00. I know they were just fishing for an invitation to join in the fun, but if I would have allowed those kids to join us once, my house would have quickly transformed into the freebie neighborhood daycare and I wasn’t about to let that happen. I didn’t make any money that day. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to get a dime out of anyone who dares stare at me yet, but if I ever do you can bet your last dollar I will share it here until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
Although I think I have acquired a little more patience as I have grown older, I know that patience is not my forte. It probably never will be. When my patience has run its course, expect an explosion. It is just the way I am.
2. I have no patience for being ignorant. Everyone has the opportunity to educate themselves. People who are being stupid on purpose just pi$$ me off to no end. Acquaint yourself withGoogle and look it up before you shout your mouth off for G0d’s sake. One time I went to Kmart in search of a city street map of Chicago, Illinois. We were going to the city and I thought I had remembered seeing a Chicago street map up near the registers. To save myself some time I asked the cashier on duty. I got the blank deer in the headlight look and then she told me, she was sure I could find a street map of Chicago in a state map of Indiana. WTF!! I came unglued. I looked at this poor ignorant soul and said “you mean to tell me you are working at a job, handling other people’s money, a mere 2 hour drive from Chicago and you don’t realize that Chicago is in Illinois?” I couldn’t believe it and just stormed out of the store livid. Admit you don’t know and then take steps to find out!!
3. I love my kids, but I have little patience for other people’s kids. I admit it. I don’t feel it is my place to correct them or tell them to be quiet or to behave. I am not their mother. It pi$$es me off to no end that mothers will be right there and see their kids acting up, being rude, and being obnoxious and do absolutely nothing about it. I have actually witnessed one mother with ear buds in her ears completely absorbed into whatever she was doing on her smart phone and oblivious to the hell her kids were raising around her. I have no qualms with my own kids. They are mine and I will ride their a$$es like Zorro to make them mind. I absolutely have no patience for acting like you were raised in a barn by gorillas. A little goes a long way!!
4. On a lighter note, when I know my husband is coming home like he is today, I can’t wait!! I call him every little bit. Where are you now? When will you be here? I have moved the vehicles over. Are you on your way home yet? I must drive that man nuts. I simply can’t wait to see him. Once I know it is inevitable I want to know down to the last minute how much time I have to tidy up the house, do the dishes, fold the laundry, take out the trash, and make the place presentable. Yes, I treat my husband almost like a much anticipated guest. There are times when I will cop an attitude , especially if I haven’t felt well, and tell him straight up if he doesn’t like it that the house isn’t perfect he can keep right on trucking down the highway because I am half past give a $hit and my give a damn is busted. When I am in that rare form he knows if he doesn’t like it, he can clean it to his satisfaction himself. Usually he does just that.
5. I have a real problem with people who stare at me. It is beyond rude and it drives me insane! Nothing to see here, move along! One time I was outside with my kids watching them play when a group of neighborhood kids stopped at the end of the driveway and stared at us like we were animals in the zoo. I was so irked I told them that staring is rude, and if they were going to continue to stare they each owed me $5.00 a piece for a look. One of the kids fell off his bike trying to get out of dodge as our laughter chased them down the street. They even had bags of chips they were eating as they watched. You would have thought they were at a drive in movie!
So as I count to 10 for the millionth time, demanding silence as my kids fight about nit picky things that don’t matter in the big scheme of things I pray for patience until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
