“Do you think sex education should come from the parents, the school, or a mix of both?
I think sex education should come from a mixture of both. Back when I was growing up, I admit I was completely clueless about sex. It was not a subject my mom ever discussed and it would have been a cold day in hell when I would have asked questions about such a thing. In the 6th grade I got a rude awakening when the powers that be at the school decided it was time to separate the girls from the boys and show gender specific movies about the reproductive system. Up until that moment, I never even knew I had a vagina. I had assumed that a woman felt a whopper of a shit coming on and then a baby emerged after much grunting. Surprise, surprise, and don’t forget to wipe! Hell, I didn’t know! I assumed men had something to do with the process, but I had absolutely no clue how the whole thing was accomplished.
I remember the movie appalling me. The idea of bleeding every month down there was not only gross but humiliating. I wasn’t the only one whose jaw dropped and eyes bugged out that day. The ride home on the bus proved that at least one of the boys in my class was as astonished by the information he received that day from his movie. He found out he had peanuts in his pants! If I were him, I would have been ruined from eating nuts for the rest of my life.
I was never subjected to the talk about the birds and the bees at home. Back in those days, if you wanted to see an “R” rated movie that included sex, you had to go to the theater and be 18. Yes, I grew up in the time period before the invention of VCR’s, DVD’s, cable, and the internet and they sure as hell didn’t show stuff like that on TV. My education was next to none on the subject. My folks obviously did the deed or I wouldn’t be here, but growing up you would have never guessed exactly what the deed was. It was a subject that was never discussed. I was completely clueless.
Embarrassing as it is to admit, by the time I got my first real look-see at what lurked inside a man’s boxer shorts at almost 19 I had no idea what the hell to do with it or where to put it. It was awkward as hell. I felt like a complete moron and I was. When I had my own children I made a vow early on that neither one of my kids were ever going to be as ignorant as their mother was. We discuss it. It is perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed of. It is part of life. In this day in age, ignorance is not bliss. I would rather have my kids be informed and benefit from my experience and wisdom. I don’t come up with screwy names for what lies between their legs; I give them the actual terms. I answer any questions they have as honestly and truthfully as I can. I owe them that much.
I agree with you, and it seems like we had similar experiences with the birds and the bees as kids. My mom NEVER volunteered any information on the subject. I found out that "sex" (which I'd always just thought was nothing more than making out that resulted in a baby) meant something that involved private parts, I was grossed out. And I, too, had the 6th grade videos. In ours, the mom in the video made pancakes in the shape of Fallopian tubes and I didn't know WHAT was going on. I did know what a period was, but I didn't know WHY it happened or its role in pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteIf I have kids, I'm definitely going to educate them before they find out pieces of the puzzle from friends and school. I do think there is a fine line between telling kids TOO much (and thus getting them started too early on that kind of thing) and not telling them enough. What to say and when to do it should lie with the parents. I think that schools should stick to the scientific aspects of it all because, while passing out condoms IS saying that safe sex is better than unprotected, it still gives kids the idea that sex is something that isn't a big deal. And I think that can be dangerous.
Sorry I practically just wrote a novel there. :)
Cherie, I agree with you completely. Sex is a big deal and should be treated as such. I don't think a kid can ever know too much information as long as it is the right kind of information. It is important to talk to kids honestly and answer their questions. Thank you for stopping by and for your novel. You made a lot of great points and your comments are greatly appreciated!! ♥
DeleteI think sex education should come from watching the neighbors dogs "do it" in the back yard. :)
ReplyDeleteMimi, well if you are into doggy style! LOLOLOLOLOLOL LMAO. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments! ♥
DeleteI was like you; figured out stuff way late. But I'm ok with that. I'm glad of the innocence I had; kids now I think lose it too fast. Then again, that is a reason I guess they need to learn it from their parents earlier. Better than from their peers.
ReplyDeleteSandra, I think I would have rather not been quite so stupid. A little innocence is ok, but plain stupidity is just embarrassing. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments! ♥
DeleteHonest is hugely important, I think! Better to learn in a controlled, loving environment than from the internet and peers. Misinformation is a dangerous thing!
ReplyDeleteKatie, I agree completely. I would rather my kids get the truth from me and feel comfortable talking to me about anything. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥
DeleteI got 'the talk' from my Campfire Girls leader (with parental permission) because she was a nurse, in 5th grade. I didn't understand it and I dreaded my mom wanting to talk about it. I think she asked if I had questions when I got home and I said no and ran to my room. Later that year we got to see the gender specific movie which I giggled through with my friends. The mothers and fathers attended the respective movies and my mom wanted to give me a ride home but I waved to her in the lobby and said I'd rather take the bus. So when I got my period in 6th grade, I had no idea what was happening to me and I stood in the bathroom screaming that I was bleeding to death. lol
ReplyDeleteJoJo, that is awful! That is one thing I am trying to guard against with my daughter. I want her to be prepared and not afraid and certainly not embarrassed. After all, it is part of life. Thank you for stopping by and for your kind comments! ♥
DeleteI blogged on Sex Myths just a few weeks ago. http://writinginflow.blogspot.com/2013/01/babies-come-from-armpits-other-sex-myths.html
ReplyDeleteOne of the best books I ever got about sex and talking to teens (and pre-teens) was from Planned Parenthood. (I think it was titled "How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex." Loaned it out and never got it back.)
One of their main points was that kids WANT to be able to ask their parents about sex, but don't feel comfortable doing so. IMO, schools are an excellent resource for teaching the nuts and bolts about the Fallopian tubes, etc., but then parents need to talk about morals, values, how being physically involved with somebody can influence the way you feel about him or her - even if it's just "making out."
It's okay to tell your kids, "I feel a little awkward bringing this up, because MY parents weren't comfortable talking about this," but it is VERY important, as a parent, not to assume the school's covering all the ground. Your kids need to be able to feel they can come to you for honest, clear information.
Beverly, I agree completely! Thank you for stopping by and for your comments! ♥
DeleteGreat post today! I tackled this one too. Apparently this one's a hot topic. :)
ReplyDeleteCarrie, apparently so! Sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Thank you for stopping by and for your comments! ♥
DeleteI was given a European sex education, courtesy of my German mother. This means frank discussion and reading materials at a young age, (about 8, I think), calling all body parts by their correct names, teaching that nudity was nothing to be ashamed of, etc. etc. Later on, there was further education about how to prevent unwanted pregnancies and STDs. We also had "health classes" in school, starting around age 12, but they were pretty basic and glossed over a lot of detail. In my opinion, the onus is on the parents, but, I think the schools should also provide a thorough course of study in the subject.
ReplyDeleteDebbie, I think you were brought up right. Thank you for stopping by, for your kind comments, and for your experiences on the subject. ♥
DeleteI think we were raised the same way, we never spoke of this. I did get the talk about my "aunt flo" visiting when I was 8, as my mom didn't even get that and at 9 was frightened the first time it arrived. I remember my mom telling me babies were something you got when you "got married" and I believed it completely until 6th or 7th grade. Funny when I think about my rude awakening that they didn't just come from God when you got your marriage lisc. etc. So funny to think about it now. But times were different and I lived in such a strict enviroment that I didn't have the worries the kids do now. Parents and teachers together is key I believe. You can't leave it to one, as the issues are too important for their wellbeing.
ReplyDeleteWinnie, I agree with you completely. It is a little funny how we were both raised compared to today's kids and the exposure they have to everything. Still, I sure felt stupid at the time and I would have given anything to have not felt that way. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥
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