A little late in the day, but not too late for a little musing this Monday. 15 years ago today I was eagerly anticipating my cesarean section scheduled for the next morning with a twinge of fear and a whole lot of excitement. I had never had a baby before and even though I had taken the childbirth classes at the hospital, I still felt ill equipped for what was to come. Besides, I spent 99.9% of the movie shown the expectant parents about childbirth and cesareans cringing horrified behind my pillow.
I endured a tough pregnancy with my first
born. Let’s just say, I don’t do pregnancy well. I was not one of those fabled expectant mothers who simply glowed. Tinged a sickly, pasty, green, I struggled through every minute of my pregnancy plagued with nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea, riding on the hellacious roller coaster ride of hormones, high blood pressure, and gestational diabetes. To be honest, by the time it was time to go under the knife I simply wanted the pregnancy to be over. I simply could not imagine the reality of the baby, I would soon have. I had no idea whether the baby would be a boy or a girl.
Fast forward 15 years and here I am preparing to celebrate the beautiful and smart girl I was blessed with by blowing up bunches of balloons, suspending them from the ceiling, and stringing a “Happy Birthday” banner in their midst. The real celebration won’t commence until this weekend when my husband comes home. Still, I couldn’t let my little girl’s day pass unnoticed. Tomorrow I will bake cupcakes, a simple precursor to the birthday cake she will have this weekend. She will get to blow candles out on both occasions, because really a person cannot have too many wishes! Then, once both kids are home from school, away we will go to the local pizza place to inhale as much pizza, pasta, salad, and bread sticks that are earthly possible to inhale without exploding.
Only a handful of hours to go until her fourteenth year will be gone and her fifteenth year will dawn. No matter how old either of us get, she will always be my sweet baby girl and I will always be her mommy and for that I will always be eternally grateful.