There have been few people in my life that I have been hopelessly devoted to. I think that is because there have been many people who have came into my life, stayed for awhile, and then kept right on going. It used to really hurt when I lost friends and they moved on with their lives leaving me behind when I was younger. As I aged I realized that the only people you could really count on were a much smaller number.
When my mom was alive, I was hopelessly devoted to her. I would have done anything for her. I really would have and did. She was my best friend, and because she was my mom, she never left me until G0d called her and she had little choice but to go. I was devastated when she left. I was only 24 years old at the time. She was as devoted to me as I was to her. I don’t know if I have had anyone in my life before or since her that has been that devoted to me in return.
I am hopelessly devoted to my husband, and even if we don’t always get along I remain devoted to him. Sometimes I resent his long absences because of his job. I miss him and I absolutely hate having to deal with everything as a single parent when I am married and have someone. If he were ever to die, I would still be devoted to him. I can’t imagine ever wanting the headache of making another relationship work. We have been together almost 16 years, and soon we will have been married 15. We have been through an awful lot together. We had two children together, buried family members, and even lost a home through no fault of our own. There is a history there. I love him. I will always love him. I may not always think that he treats me the best at times, but I promised to love him till death parts us and I am determined to follow through on that promise through the good and the bad.
Since the births of my children I have been hopelessly devoted to each of them. I was blessed with a daughter and a son, and there are times when I feel they don’t appreciate me, but I still love them. I will always love them and be hopelessly devoted to them as long as I draw breath.
There are times when I wonder if any of them return my devotion. Sometimes sadness envelopes me that I can’t even describe. All I can do is continue to love them no matter what. I guess I have been hurt entirely too often by entirely too many people to put myself out there and be devoted to anyone else. I keep myself distant from others for a reason, but can’t and won’t ever distance myself from my husband or children. Faith and hope will continue to burn brightly deep within my heart that the devotion I give will one day be returned until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
