Ring Haiku

Promise devotion

Emblem symbolizing love

United as one

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U is for Ultimatum

      It had been the best 4 years of Brianna’s life, no doubt.   She loved Dillon.  If Dillon loved her, he would marry her.  All their friends were married. 

     

        Either a diamond on her finger or she would kick him to the curb…that was the deal.  Shit or get off the pot!

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I See You

     She thought he had seen David slap her after the wedding rehearsal.  She hoped not.  She didn’t want anyone to know.   He had only hit her once before.  She had explained the bruises away to her own clumsiness and everyone had bought it.   Now he refused to attend the rehearsal dinner with her.  Instead he would rather go smoke a joint with the best man and get drunk than be with her and face the family.  What was she getting herself into?  She wanted to run away but her parents had spent so much money already on the wedding.    Her mother insisted she would be happy once she was married.  After all, David’s family was at the pinnacle of society.  She could hear her mother say it and see the excitement in her eyes as she said it.  The mental image made her physically ill.  She simply wasn’t as sure.  She didn’t drink.  She didn’t do drugs.  She was certain she didn’t love him and perhaps she never had.  Wouldn’t it be better to be alone than saddled with someone who deep down she feared?

       She put on a brave face and joined her family, making excuses for him.  She was always making excuses for him.  She was marrying into a good family.  Her future husband was successful and everyone told her they were so happy for her and that her future looked so bright.    The day of her wedding dawned bright.   There was a flurry of activity all around her as she got ready.  Her gown was beautiful, the flowers exquisite.   She knew she should be happy, but all she wanted was to run away.  Too much money had been spent.  Too many people were waiting in the sanctuary.  She simply couldn’t back out, no matter how uneasy and unsure she felt about going through with the marriage.  Her mother would never forgive her.  What would everyone say?  She would never be able to hold her head up in public again.

         It was time.  Her daddy entered the room and smiled brightly.  “You look so beautiful!” he said as he embraced her.  It was only the two of them.  Everyone else had left to take their places.  He looked into her eyes and took her hand.  “You know you don’t have to do this.”  Startled, she looked at her father, really looked at him.  His eyes were endless pools of blue and she felt his gaze touch her soul.  He knew.  She knew he did.  She started to deny her feelings and lie.  She began to tell him she was fine and everything would be wonderful.  Then she saw the look in his eyes.  “I saw him hit you last night.”  She looked at him panic stricken and he rushed to reassure her.  “Even if I hadn’t I have seen that you are not happy and will never be happy with him.   Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.  ”   Hearing those words spoken aloud caused her to crumble against him.  “Oh Daddy, all that money on the wedding!!” she exclaimed.     He reached into his pocket and pulled out his keys.  “You go; I will clean things up here.  Don’t worry my dear, everything will be alright.  I want you happy and safe.  Your prince charming is out there somewhere waiting for you.  Trust me; this one is not the one no matter how much money he has.”  He hugged her again and with one final glance, she hurried away.  He adjusted his tie, and went to announce that his little girl wouldn’t be getting married today and to thank everyone for coming.

This fictional story was written for the 

Write Tribe Wednesday writing prompt "Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye."

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You and Me

The first time I saw you, I knew you were the one for me. 

Fate had stepped in and brought you to me. 

We fell in love.  

My best friend, we vowed to be one for all time.

This was written for the Trifextra writing prompt #100.   They challenged me to write a 33-word response to the following snippet:

The first time I saw. . .

Here's the catch: all of the 33 words must be one syllable each. 
To clarify, we were given 5 words and asked to add another 33, for a grand total of 38.

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Beginnings

    If you think about it, life is full of beginnings.  With a single cry, life begins fresh and new.  We know little more than the sound of our mother’s voice and the warmth of the womb, still we forge ahead tasting, seeing, and experiencing life each moment taking each day as it comes.

    School begins.  We begin to learn amazing things: how to read, how to write, how to calculate, and how to philosophize and along the way we learn how to make friends.  Friendships begin, and then they end.  Some friendships last forever if we’re lucky.  If not, people drift through our life at an alarming rate fulfilling their purpose in our life touching us in profound ways.  Touching us as fate would have it. 

 

    Boy meets girl and love is discovered, and sometimes hate, sadness, rejection, and disappointment.  Romances begin, and sometimes end.  They always begin again until our soul mate waltzes into our lives and knock us for a loop.  From each new beginning we learn.  Marriage marks a new beginning filled with promise and hope.  Couples forge through life together marking new beginnings as home owners and as parents.

        The arrival of a baby marks a special beginning.  Each beginning is a departure from how life used to be and although scary, each beginning is filled with excitement and anticipation.  Sometimes all goes wrong.  We survive divorce and forge again with someone new discovering that even after heartache and loss a new beginning is always possible.

     We work, we play, we live and each day marks a new beginning filled with promise and hope.  Each new day is fresh with no mistakes.  A new day is like a fresh new page of our life to be written on.  Beginnings bring excitement and fear of the unknown, but somehow we adjust and embrace the beginnings and life continues to flow and we grow.  Even death will be a new beginning where we will finally discover what really lies beyond that last breath.  Even though I will probably always agonize about new beginnings a little, I have found as I grow older it is becoming a little easier to embrace what will and must come until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

Dedication

Welcome to the Day 16 of BlogFest 2012!!  Today's host is Suzy at Someday Somewhere.

     I have been dedicated to my husband and our marriage for 15 years and intend to remain dedicated as long as I draw breath.   I have been dedicated to both of my children since they were born.  My little family means the world to me.




      Since that fateful day in 2009 when I decided to maintain a blog, I have been dedicated.  I have had my ups and downs, my share of writer’s block and those moments when there simply was not enough money to keep the internet bill paid and on at home.  I have been dedicated enough to go to the local library and use their computers to insure that I posted regularly and kept up with all the writing prompts that the groups I am affiliated with offered.  It mattered to me.  I wanted to remain connected and refused to allow a little thing like lack of money stop me from posting.

      Dedication means a lot.  Some people like my father and my husband, dedicate most of their lives to their jobs out of necessity.  They stay on the road and keep those tires on their semi trucks rolling to insure that their family can eat, have things, and have a roof over their heads.  They sacrifice part of their lives to just stay afloat, pay the bills,  and survive.  

       People dedicate their time to learn, to help others, and to grow.  In the end one can only hope that the dedication to continue on is appreciated by others until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

Hopelessly Devoted to You-BFF 223

     There have been few people in my life that I have been hopelessly devoted to.  I think that is because there have been many people who have came into my life, stayed for awhile, and then kept right on going.  It used to really hurt when I lost friends and they moved on with their lives leaving me behind when I was younger.  As I aged I realized that the only people you could really count on were a much smaller number.

      When my mom was alive, I was hopelessly devoted to her.  I would have done anything for her.  I really would have and did.  She was my best friend, and because she was my mom, she never left me until G0d called her and she had little choice but to go.  I was devastated when she left.  I was only 24 years old at the time.  She was as devoted to me as I was to her.  I don’t know if I have had anyone in my life before or since her that has been that devoted to me in return.

        I am hopelessly devoted to my husband, and even if we don’t always get along I remain devoted to him.  Sometimes I resent his long absences because of his job.  I miss him and I absolutely hate having to deal with everything as a single parent when I am married and have someone.  If he were ever to die, I would still be devoted to him.  I can’t imagine ever wanting the headache of making another relationship work.  We have been together almost 16 years, and soon we will have been married 15.  We have been through an awful lot together.  We had two children together, buried family members, and even lost a home through no fault of our own.  There is a history there.  I love him.  I will always love him.  I may not always think that he treats me the best at times, but I promised to love him till death parts us and I am determined to follow through on that promise through the good and the bad.

         Since the births of my children I have been hopelessly devoted to each of them.  I was blessed with a daughter and a son, and there are times when I feel they don’t appreciate me, but I still love them.  I will always love them and be hopelessly devoted to them as long as I draw breath.  

          There are times when I wonder if any of them return my devotion.  Sometimes sadness envelopes me that I can’t even describe.  All I can do is continue to love them no matter what.  I guess I have been hurt entirely too often by entirely too many people to put myself out there and be devoted to anyone else.  I keep myself distant from others for a reason, but can’t and won’t ever distance myself from my husband or children.  Faith and hope will continue to burn brightly deep within my heart that the devotion I give will one day be returned until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

Kids

NaBloPoMo asks:

When did you know that you wanted to have kids?

     I realized that I wanted kids before I met my husband.  I was nearing 30 and my biological clock was clanging in my head.  It was one of the reasons I willingly paid $500.00 to Matchmaker in a last ditch effort to meet a man that I would want to spend the rest of my life with and start a family.  I hadn’t met anyone worthy on my own.  Desperate measures were called for.  So in a last ditch effort I paid my money and waited.

     I was sent a lot of duds before my future husband came along.  When he finally did, I found we had so much in common that we continued to talk on the phone all night long.  By the time we came up for air, it was morning.  We decided to meet, and I soon knew that he was the only one for me.  We married and spent the first couple of years enjoying each other.  All of a sudden my biological clock began ticking in my head again.  I was in my early 30’s and realized there was no better time.  If I was ever to have kids the time had come.  I knew I was ready and there was nothing else I wanted more in life than to have a baby.  It seemed what life was all about and had ever been about.

     I quit taking my birth control pills and we waited…and waited.  It seemed the more I wanted to get pregnant, the more I failed to.  I took it as a personal failure when my first pregnancy ended at 5 months.  I went to the ultrasound expecting to see pictures of my baby only to be told the baby was dead.  As I sobbed uncontrollably, my OB/GYN told me over the phone that the only way to get pregnant was to surgically remove the dead baby and try again.  I agreed to the surgery, and with a heavy heart went to the hospital days later to have my dead, deformed baby taken from my body.  I still wanted children, but that one event put a deep fear in my heart that if I ever became pregnant again the same thing would happen.

      I quit taking my temperature and caring whether I was ovulating.  I got rid of the baby things I had collected in preparation for the baby that died.  I still wanted kids more than anything in the world but believed with every fiber of my soul that I wasn’t able to have babies that would live.  When I became pregnant again, I faced the whole thing with a deep seated fear that never went away.  I refused to get excited about a baby that would most likely die anyway.  I threw up every time the wind blew on me.  I had diarrhea constantly.  I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and forced to take insulin by the 6th month.  As the last months played out, my blood pressure shot sky high.  Because I had massive areas of scar tissue from previous surgeries, the baby was breech, and I was high risk I was automatically scheduled for a C-section.
  

       I arrived at the hospital the morning of my C-section only wishing the pregnancy was over.  I will never forget the pure joy and elation that overcame me when I first laid eyes on my daughter, or the moment when I first spoke to her and she stopped crying and stared at me the first time.  I realized in those first precious moments of my daughter’s life what the true meaning of life was all about.  I realized that all the days and heartaches that I had lived through before had brought me to that point.  If I had not lost that first baby, I have little doubt that I could have possibly appreciated that moment as much as I did.  

     When I became pregnant for my son, the specter of that first failed pregnancy still hung in the air, but with the successful birth of my daughter I was able to look forward to the birth of my son more.  I took great joy planning for his arrival buying tiny blue clothes, crocheting a baby blanket, and gathering all the things I no longer had from my first.

      For me, marrying my husband started a natural progression towards having the family I always wanted.  I have always been a very old fashioned, traditional girl at heart.  It is their love that sees me through.   Like the old school yard chant goes first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.