Hopelessly Devoted to You-BFF 223
There have been few people in my life that I have been hopelessly devoted to. I think that is because there have been many people who have came into my life, stayed for awhile, and then kept right on going. It used to really hurt when I lost friends and they moved on with their lives leaving me behind when I was younger. As I aged I realized that the only people you could really count on were a much smaller number.
When my mom was alive, I was hopelessly devoted to her. I would have done anything for her. I really would have and did. She was my best friend, and because she was my mom, she never left me until G0d called her and she had little choice but to go. I was devastated when she left. I was only 24 years old at the time. She was as devoted to me as I was to her. I don’t know if I have had anyone in my life before or since her that has been that devoted to me in return.
I am hopelessly devoted to my husband, and even if we don’t always get along I remain devoted to him. Sometimes I resent his long absences because of his job. I miss him and I absolutely hate having to deal with everything as a single parent when I am married and have someone. If he were ever to die, I would still be devoted to him. I can’t imagine ever wanting the headache of making another relationship work. We have been together almost 16 years, and soon we will have been married 15. We have been through an awful lot together. We had two children together, buried family members, and even lost a home through no fault of our own. There is a history there. I love him. I will always love him. I may not always think that he treats me the best at times, but I promised to love him till death parts us and I am determined to follow through on that promise through the good and the bad.
Since the births of my children I have been hopelessly devoted to each of them. I was blessed with a daughter and a son, and there are times when I feel they don’t appreciate me, but I still love them. I will always love them and be hopelessly devoted to them as long as I draw breath.
There are times when I wonder if any of them return my devotion. Sometimes sadness envelopes me that I can’t even describe. All I can do is continue to love them no matter what. I guess I have been hurt entirely too often by entirely too many people to put myself out there and be devoted to anyone else. I keep myself distant from others for a reason, but can’t and won’t ever distance myself from my husband or children. Faith and hope will continue to burn brightly deep within my heart that the devotion I give will one day be returned until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
I share that feeling with you, often. I know that some of the people in my life are devoted to me, in that, anything I need will be given, if possible. That would be my kids and my husband and my sister. My mom on a different level, she is devoted to my happiness but no longer able to really 'help' me with much, which is fine, it's my turn to help her.
ReplyDeleteI believe, as women, we are more likely to be giving that devotion, than to receiving it. It's nature, I think. We are the nurturers. We give and we hope, one day, we will receive. It's just how life is for most of us.
Jo, I think you are so right! Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments.
DeleteKathy part of me wants to commend you for loving despite not get the same back in return and part of me wants to tell you that you deserve much better. But then I don't know you so well, and I'm talking from my experience of life which is so different from yours. I learnt a little late in life that no one appreciated me, until I learnt to appreciate myself and put myself first. I know it sounds selfish but it's not. Once I did that, my other relationships changed for the better. I hope I haven't offended you with my comment.
ReplyDeleteCorinne, I appreciate your advice. I think you are right. If I could appreciate myself, then at least there would be me on my side. Maybe every one else would eventually follow suit. I am so pleased you stopped by and shared your thoughts on this topic. Thank you for your helpful comments!
DeleteI'm devoted to my friends and I know which ones who are devoted to me as well. And I am totally and utterly devoted to my fiance'; I've never loved anyone as much as I love him and no one's ever loved me as much as he does. Sadly, I have never felt much devotion to my family b/c they pretty much crapped on me all the time. Except for my dad who passed away nearly 10 years ago.
ReplyDeleteJoJo, I don't believe that there is any law in the land that states you have to be devoted to family. In my experience family can screw a person over worse than a complete stranger. You didn't choose to have them for family, but you can choose to not associate with those that screw you over. I know exactly what you mean. In my case I have had an equal screwing from about every sector so it is little wonder why I keep to myself. Life is just better that way. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments!
DeleteSometimes I see more than you want to reveal in your writings. It's the curse of an empath... Just know that I love you and understand way more than you say. You will always have a friend in me. ❤
ReplyDeleteDarlene, it is a great gift to be able to read between the lines. I love you back. Thank you Darlene for stopping by and for your understanding and kind comments. Somehow they are a balm for my soul.
DeleteBeautiful heartwarming post, Kathy.
ReplyDeleteI'm going through a stage in my life where I am trying simplify not only how I organize our home but my relationships. Our girls are very young, and even though my partner and I feel like we know each other for a long time, we are still relatively a "young" couple in years.
I keep this in mind when I feel that I lose track of my priorities, and want too much in life, and get blinded by others I unwittingly devote my time to for the wrong reasons...
Making a lot of mistakes along the way of keeping in mind, who matters most (even when one thinks it should basically be easy!)but not giving up in getting better at it.
Thanks for visiting my blog and letting me get to know you in the process.
Joanna, if I simplified my life anymore than I already have there would be no one left in it. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments.
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