Endings

  The only good thing about endings is that with them come the dawn of new beginnings.  A person can almost tolerate the pain of saying goodbye when you fill your mind with the excitement of something new and unknown.


    

        The other day I walked out to get the mail and instead of the usual bills I discovered a letter from my daughter’s school.  Toward the end of the year my daughter was tested to see if she would qualify for high ability classes.  Throughout all of her years of school she has always achieved straight A’s.  When she was in 4th grade she was tested for high ability and it was decided by educators in charge of such things that she remain where she was.  At that point she cried because she didn’t get in!  It was feared at the time that if she was moved up she might struggle, be overwhelmed, and then her self esteem would suffer. 

      

        This past year was an easy year for my daughter.    The many times I ventured to the school to have lunch with her I discovered her to be extremely happy surrounded by her circle of friends.  When it came time for her to be tested for the high ability classes for next year, her friends encouraged her to fail while I encouraged her to do her best.  She wanted to stay where she was and wanted nothing more than to stay where it was safe surrounded by her friends, happy, and sliding through life without a care in the world. 

       I knew the envelope from the mailbox held the answer to her placement for the new school year and I knew instinctively that I had to open it before I went into the house.  I tore it open and scanned through the letter that congratulated me and her for being placed into high ability for the coming school year.  I braced myself to tell her.  I knew she would not be happy.    This letter confirmed that from here on out she would no longer be in an ordinary class with her friends, but moved to another section of the school and surrounded by other brainy kids she had yet to meet who excelled.   I no longer was in a rush to get inside.    I thought about my funny, zany girl and knew deep down that even being challenged mentally in high ability wouldn’t extinguish the comedic zany spark I always have seen in her.  I knew I had to tell her, and I dreaded it.

      I had good reason to dread being the bearer of this particular piece of news.  At the announcement that she would leave M team to join the high ability S team of her intermediate school my daughter moaned “NO!” like a wounded animal and promptly broke into sobs.  My heart broke for her but I knew what I had to do.  I hugged her and helped her look on the bright side of this situation.  Even though there was the stipulation that I could request she not be moved into high ability classes promising more work and the concept of leaving her group of friends, I presented the concept that perhaps this ending was meant to be. 

         Perhaps she should have been with the smart kids all along.  I could see her fears ran deeper than leaving the friends she had found the year before.  The bottom line was that she was afraid she would fail miserably and never be able to keep up.  It was time for her to ride the lightning and step up to the plate.  It was time for her to be challenged and have her mind opened to more new exciting things.

   

     In another year the end of intermediate school will come and junior high will dawn on the horizon with even more promise for growth and opportunity.   Absolutely nothing stays the same.  Life is ever changing and keeps on playing out as it is meant to. I swallowed my own personal reservations about this new appointment and chose to encourage her.  We chose to celebrate her successes and look forward to the future instead of dwelling on everything she would be leaving behind.   With endings come the promise of a new beginning and with that comes excitement and hope for all the tomorrows to come until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

Upset

         I get upset when the $hit hit’s the fan just like anyone else. I also tend to hyperventilate, break a blood vessel, and completely lose it before I calm down, let go, and let G0d.  Even stuff that shouldn’t upset me and should make me proud as a peacock throws me for a loop.   Last night I got a letter from my son’s school which informed me that he has been slated for high ability classes for next year.    I had an inkling of this because he has already been moved into high ability math classes.  He is doing math that seems unimaginable for a mere kindergartner to do.  It boggles my mind!

        What really got my panties in a bunch last night was the school included a form for “me” to fill out to give them a little more insight into what makes my son tick.  That is the moment I lost it.  My son has been a mystery to me since he was born.  Of my two children, he is the one that I am completely clueless about.  I have always wished I would have been provided with a user’s manual with him because he does things most of the time that defies imagination on all realms of the spectrum. 

        I went into my bedroom and sat on the bed with this questionnaire and cried as I looked through all the things they wanted to know. It was in multiple choice and essay question format.  I hyperventilated and tears came to my eyes.  How would I know???  I didn’t know I would have to take a test!  The teachers were around him all day, they nominated him, don’t they know??  I begged my daughter to help me choose the answers that best described her brother.  I felt like the worse mother in the world because I didn’t know the answers instantly and really had to think about it.

         Once I started really thinking about it the answers came.  I admit to having my head firmly planted up my a$$ most of the time but I still would have liked to have known that I knew my own son.  For example, I was convinced my son struggled to read.  He has never given me any indication that he could.  Yesterday my husband and I had lunch with my son at school and I asked his teacher about his reading problems.  She informed me that he didn’t have a problem that she knew of.  He likes mommy to read to him, not the other way around.  Last night I sat down and showed him flashcards that had lists of rhyming words.  To my amazement, not only did he know every single word, he didn’t even have to think about it!!  


   

      On the same page my daughter was upset because she had to miss gym class to be tested for high ability.  It was funny.  She was hoping she didn’t do to well on the test because she didn’t want to leave her friends.  I guess my kids are just to smart for their own good.  In that vein, my daughter is to much like me.  When I went to college the school made me take placement exams to know which classes to place me in.  I have always hated math.  It makes my brain tired.  It isn’t that I can’t do it, it is just I would rather not.  Evidently I scored a little to high and was mad to discover that I had managed to avoid calculus but got placed in algebra which was the next highest class.  Considering I only ever took freshmen algebra in high school, I was not amused.  Guess the apple doesn’t fall to far from the tree after all.

         By the morning after the storm had passed.  The form is filled out and has been sent back to the school.  I realized my son must be a lot smarter than he lets on.  I am so proud of my kids.  I would have been proud of them regardless.  When I really thought about it, it wasn't that hard to figure him out after all!  Life goes on once again until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.