Creeping Obesity

It is day 23 of BlogFest 2012!   Stuart of 4 a Better Life is our host for today’s writing prompt!

     When I was growing up I was always thin.  Even in my 20’s and early 30’s I was pretty thin.  I met the man of my dreams.  He is  my best friend and the best thing that has happened to my life before or since.  I was enjoying life.  When we first married I had three surgeries in close succession.  I said goodbye to my gallbladder, my tonsils, and then had endometriosis removed.  I also managed to sustain a concussion.  It was an eventful first year to say the least.

       As I began to feel better and I reveled in true happiness I began to gain weight.  It wasn’t so bad at first as I was too skinny from not feeling well for so long.  The weight seemed to creep on without me really noticing it.  Then I got pregnant.  Since a person is supposed to gain weight while pregnant, I paid little mind to it.  I was feeding my baby.  The only problem was once I had my baby, I still looked huge.  It was not supposed to happen that way at all.  I lost some weight, but have never seen my pre-pregnancy weight again.  All of sudden I was over weight with cow udders for b00bs and a pointed bubble butt a$$.  I woke up and discovered I was fat and had no clue what the hell to do about it.  I had never had the problem before.  I had always been too skinny, and then all of a sudden I was enormous.  Granted I still could find people on the street bigger than me but that was little consolation.

       At the time my Dad had his stroke he liked to call me Crisco.  I get the reference.  He considered me a lard a$$ and even though I know he was teasing me, the reference hurt.  While he was in the hospital I was under so much stress keeping on top of taking care of my daughter, husband, and him that I paid little never mind to me.  One day I went to see my dad in the hospital and showed him how without a belt my pants literally fell off my a$$.  He smiled his lopsided grin and told me Crisco had left the building and to pull up my pants.  I did just that.

       After my Dad died, the weight silently crept back on.  A year later, I was pregnant with my son and trying desperately not to gain any more weight than I absolutely had to.  The result was that after I had my son, it actually looked like I had given birth which was a good thing.  Seven years have passed and since then the pounds have crept back on.  One day I had a medical emergency and went to the emergency room where it was discovered I was suffering from severe hypertension.

       I followed up with my doctor and was prescribed blood pressure medication and put on a strict diet.  It was a wake up call and I have followed the diet religiously since.  The weight loss has been slow going but sure.  As of today I am down 28 pounds and wonders of wonders, for the first time in over 12 years I can look down and actually see my toes!!!  Hello toes!  It has been a long time!  I am so glad to see you!  I will continue to follow my diet hell come high water, and hopefully I will convince this thing called obesity to creep away.  I was hoping that if I didn’t eat as much while pregnant the baby would eat up my a$$ and I would be amazingly thin when all was said and done.  Things just didn’t work out that way.  That’s life until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

What's Cooking -BFF 235

     When I was diagnosed recently with a heart condition and hypertension my doctor immediately prescribed medication to lower it and a strict diet to help me drop weight and get healthy.  The diet consists of lean meats, lots of vegetables and fruits, and skim milk.  This is what I had for supper Saturday night.  I made a simple meatloaf combining 95% lean ground sirloin, onions, and a sprinkling of Parmesan cheese.  I had a serving of Brussel Sprouts, and a serving of raw vegetables on the side.  I rounded it off with a serving of strawberries and kiwi washed down with a glass of skim milk and a cup of beef broth.  While my doctor said I would lose weight, it would be slow going.  I haven't been doing this very long but so far I have lost about 23 lbs according to my bathroom scale.  My husband was passing through on his way to Vermont and actually told me he can tell I am smaller.  Hooray!

      While I still cook things my children love and will eat, I have followed my diet to the letter.    Today I went and bought groceries and realized how my groceries have transformed from a cart full of potatoes, burgers, pizza, and pop to a cart full of fresh vegetables, fruits, and lean meats.  It makes me feel good that I am doing everything I can to be as healthy as I can and prolong my life in the process until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker's wife.

Taking Charge

Welcome to day 4 of BlogFest 2012!  Thank you Stuart of Stuart Fish.com for today's writing prompt:

 “Will you take charge of your life?”

      Twelve years ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.  I vowed to quit my job and give my daughter all the attention and love I could and to be there for her 24/7.  I left my job of 6 years to become a full time stay at home mom.  During that time of wiping butts and snot noses, an abundance of hugs, kisses, and tears my life drifted along.  Around the time my daughter was approaching the moment to leave the nest for kindergarten I got knocked up again and my son joined the family.  I couldn’t see not giving him the same amount of devotion, so I remained at the status quo.

       In 2009 I began writing online.  I was still at home but now my life seemed to find purpose beyond my kids.  I wrote and that satisfied me for a long time.  Then I turned the ripe ole age of 44.  Pre menopausal hormones reared their angry head and I started to wonder if this was it for me.  I began to get a little restless in my own skin and seriously began considering getting a job.  It had to be part time, and it had to be a job I could do and still be available for my kids when they needed me plus line my pockets with extra cash. 

      I checked out the school website for positions and found some openings available in the cafeteria.  I grabbed the bull’s balls and on a whim filled out an application.  To my shock not only did they call me for an interview, but at the interview they hired me on the spot as a sub.  Well, hot damn and happy day.  I hadn’t expected that at all.  When they called me for the first time to sub at one of the elementary schools I was happier than I had been in a really long time.  I actually enjoyed it.  A couple weeks past and I wasn’t called again.  I felt like I really didn’t have a job after all.  When I had went in and applied for a job I figured I would be working daily if they hired me.

         Instead of sitting back and waiting, I once again took the initiative and called the lady that hired me to find out just what the hell was going on.  I told her I was looking for a job I could go to every day.  That is what I had in mind.  If they didn’t need me, why hire me?  We discussed my computer skills and my past experience in running a cash register and my desire to learn their system if need be.  Seconds after we hung up the manager at the school I now work at called and told me to come to work, each and every day, for as long as I wanted to.

        Along about this time I was diagnosed with hypertension, began treatment to lower it, and was put on a strict diet in the hopes of dropping the pounds I had put on with my pregnancies and never lost.  I was told I was just like my Dad and was diagnosed with heart disease.  Considering he suffered from heart attacks and died of a stroke, I was given a wake up call.  I could keep on the way I was and prepare to die, or take charge and change my destiny and live.  With two young kids, I chose to change my destiny and live.

        So yes, I am taking charge of my life.  I am eating healthier than I ever have, working and getting paid for it, plus still a very active mom in my kid’s lives.  On top of that I am crazy enough to challenge myself to blog each and every day.  My life is structured and has more purpose than ever before.  Instead of selecting a hole to put myself in, I am out here living my life and doing everything I can to take charge of my health so I can be around for a while.  Instead of safe in my little cocoon I have burrowed into over the past 12 years, I am out in the mainstream meeting people and mingling and having one hell of a time as only I can.  

      Nothing in life worth having is easy.  Getting used to working and not sitting on my happy a$$ all day long writing, reading, and commenting has been a major life adjustment, but I am doing it.  I will do it.  I want to do it, and let’s face it I have to do it.  I gave up art when my mom died in 1993.  It was a passion that drove my life up until her death as much as the blood pumps through my veins.  Recently I picked up a sketch pad and some colored pencils and realized to my shock not only could I still do it, I liked doing it, and I am still pretty good at it.  I made the decision that slowly but surely I would work towards devoting more time to draw into my life.  I am in control and taking charge, and I am happy about it until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

I Can’t Sleep!!

     Today’s host for Blogfest 2012 is Susan at Today’s Working Woman.  The writing prompt for today is “When was the last time you couldn’t sleep and why?  What was the reason for not sleeping?  What did you do to overcome it?”

      I woke this morning in the center of the night having to pee.  The dogs followed me and sat with eyes glued on me as I went.  It is a good thing I have no problem going with an audience.  I ambled through the rest of the house turning on a light here then there to let the dogs out.  Anxious for the prompt for the day, I fired up my computer only to discover I had no internet connection.  “What the hell! Did I not pay the bill?”  I racked my brain.  It was surely possible.  I let the dogs back in with the cold wind whistling up my night gown.  A call to Comcast reveals there is a service outage in my area.  Well that is just lovely!!

       It is 4:19 in the morning and now thanks to cold breezes whistling up my parts I am wide awake with no internet.  Not a great way to start the day.  I hope they fix whatever is screwing up the works as soon as possible.  My brain tells me I still have a couple more hours to sleep, but here I am.  I decide to write my post so that when my internet is restored I can post it.  Seems like a good idea since I can’t sleep anyways.  Subconsciously I wonder if the theme for the day has jinxed me since it is all about insomnia.  What are the odds?  

        On the upside, I don’t have a migraine.  I am simply awake.  I can still remember the g0d awful headaches that woke me nightly for months.  Thinking they had to be migraines I would pop a pill prescribed for just that purpose and take my weary butt back to bed.  Since I have been diagnosed with hypertension and prescribed pills to force ,my blood pressure down to near normal range, I can happily say I haven’t had a mind blowing headache since.  The headaches were exchanged for chest pains.  The doctor increased my dosage not long ago, and thankfully even the chest pains are few and far between as long as I take those magic little pills on time.  It is a bitch getting old.  For what it is worth, I am following the microscopic diet the doctor gave me to a tee and hopefully getting smaller all around.  I don’t even bother weighing myself because I know that when I go back to the doctor only his scale will matter anyways.  That stupid scale always weighs on the heavy side.  Why be depressed that all this healthy food I am stuffing my face with is actually not helping if I don’t have too?  Better to prolong the inevitable for as long as I can!!

         A lot of times when I find I can not sleep it would seem to be because I am worried.  Maybe my kids are sick or the bills need paid and I have no clue whether there will be money to cover it.  Whatever the case the end result is ALWAYS the same, I am wide awake in the middle of the night wondering WHY. When I don’t write, I read, and sometimes that helps.  When my soul is especially troubled I will pull out my Bible, read some passages, and have a little chat with Je$us.  It can’t hurt and it usually calms my worries down to a dull roar so I can sleep.  

      If I wasn’t on this crazy diet, I would raid the refrigerator.  I still could.  No one would ever know, except me.  Damn it to hell that is the problem.  I would know and then guilt would overwhelm me that straying from my prescribed course would result in a heart attack or worse certain death.  A little dramatic perhaps, but not far from the mark considering the dire wake up call the doctor issued on my last visit when the EKG showed my arteries were already starting to clog.  I can not check out yet because I have signed up to blog the month away with NaBloPoMo and BlogFest 2012.  Besides, my kids would be screwed with no where to go and no one to watch them.  I have to reverse the effects of my gluttony.  Goodbye potatoes and corn!!!  Goodbye crackers and cheese!!   Parting is such sweet sorrow! 
  

        Amazing how much a person can ramble on at the butt crack of dawn when normal people are sleeping.  I wish Nickelback would beam into my room and sing me a lullaby.  Well that wouldn’t work because then I would be entirely too excited to sleep.    Hot damn!!  Set off flares and firecrackers and serve pink lemonade!!  My internet is restored!  Thank G0d and sunny Je$us that I can now post this little rambling of insomnia right on time for today’s challenge.  I yawn long and deep.  Writing this bit of nonsense seems to have done the trick.  I am off to bed for a couple more precious hours of blissful sleep until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

Listen to Your Heart- BFF 229

     While I have learned throughout my life to listen to my heart or gut in most matters, yesterday I got the wake up call of my life.    For the past week I have not felt well and not been myself.  I went to the emergency room for one problem that I shall call George, and walked away with a much bigger problem to face and the answer to many problems that have plagued me for quite a while.

 

      My blood pressure was sky high and has been ever since.  I was put on blood pressure medication which has wrecked havoc on my system.  While it did lower my blood pressure some, it didn’t lower it enough so the chest pains, shortness of breath, and feeling of exhaustion went away.   While I was supposed to follow up with my doctor, I was not able to right away.  His office gave me the run around all week.  The lady answering the phone was a complete nightmare from hell and continuously hung up on me when I called in to find out what I should do and when the doctor would return.   My first reaction to that was anger.   Because of her, I put off going and my condition continued and got no better.

        I finally went yesterday in spite of her.  The doctor listened to my heart, and looking grave ordered an EKG.  Fortunately for me, I needed to go no further than right across the hall.  I donned a hospital gown with my cow udders in full view.  To think people pay money for b00bs like this!!  All I had to do was have a baby.  One minute I had next to no b00bs at all and the next cow udders which continue to sag south the older I got.     I refused to breast feed because I was sure if I did I would end up with cow udders and guess what?  I got them anyways.   The nurse attached all these sticky things with wires to my exposed chest and ankles and then printed out not one but two graphs showing just how my heart was ticking.  I was told to get dressed and the doctor would soon return.

        Instead of heading for the round swivel seat my doctor usually prefers, he surprised me by sitting down next to me with a sad look on his face and a deep heart felt sigh.  He explained that the EKG showed that my arteries were starting to fill and not only did I have to battle hypertension but heart disease as well.  I am just like my dad in this respect.  Not only did he battle heart disease having a couple massive heart attacks, he eventually died from a stroke.  Immediately some things became crystal clear.  I wasn’t suffering from migraines all summer; I was suffering from high blood pressure.  I was forgetful and three sandwiches short of a picnic because my blood pressure was high.   I felt my eyes grow damp as a single tear fell as I faced the reality of it all.

        I approached a pivotal moment in my life as he told me this was my wake up call.  If I proceeded on the same course I was on I was guaranteed that I would not be here.  I must lose weight he told me.  Panicked with despair I wailed in frustration “I have tried!!  I have even gone out walking with my kids!!  I have walked 5 miles!  I have tried to watch what I eat, but it so easy to just keep eating.  I simply can not lose weight!”  He looked sadly into my eyes and patted my leg again and informed me “You have no choice! You must lose weight, and you must do it through diet alone because your heart can not take walking 5 miles in the cold autumn air or any form of vigorous exercise.  You must or you will not be here.  This is your wake up call.  Seize it and change your path.  This is not a death sentence but a warning!”   He advised me to listen to my heart.  If I am tired or short of breath, I need to rest.  Above all, follow the diet to a tee.  He had lost 40 pounds already on this diet and I could too.  He upped my quantity of blood pressure pills per day and told me to come back in 2 weeks.

      I drove home with tears streaming down my face damning the fates that put me in this predicament, damning the hereditary tendency that made me susceptible, and damning myself for enjoying eating entirely too much.  I gazed at the diet sheet and bawled wondering how the hell I would survive on this little to eat.  G0d forbid some of this crap I didn’t even know what the hell it was!

     I started my new life today.  With diet sheet in hand I surveyed my cupboards and refrigerator and then made a beeline for the store determined to strictly follow the diet and its restrictions.  When I grow weary, I will rest.    I will follow my heart because if I don’t, it will beat no more until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
        

The Ordeal of the Bottom

     Over the past week I have been plagued with a very painful thrombosis hemorrhoid.  Ever since I was pregnant I have experienced hemorrhoids occasionally but never like this one.     An a$$ bubble has overtaken my bottom and has been sucking my will to live.   I have decided to name this thing George.  It is kind of weird, like that odd moment when guys name their penises and everyone in the free world wonders why.  You go through a rite of passage and suddenly this appendage on your body has a name.

       Yesterday George was mad as hell and finally blew a gasket.  My a$$ bubble had taken on a life force of its own.  It grew so big that it exploded.  It was not a pretty sight and lets just suffice to say that the aftermath scared the living be Je$us out of me.  My bottom never in recent memory ever hurt so badly.  There was blood and a lot of it.  Naturally I freaked out.  What to do?  I called the doctor.  He didn’t have time to see me and told me to go straight to the emergency room.  The thought of explaining to perfect strangers just what my damage was didn’t appeal to me.  I called “Ask a Nurse”.  That lady freaked out and was ready to dispatch an ambulance.  Oh hell no!!  I had visions of fire trucks, police cars, and an ambulance speeding to my house with sirens wailing and flashing lights and the whole neighborhood turned out to watch the spectacle with flipping cameras and popcorn.  No thank you!  I would find a way to get to the hospital myself.   The only problem was I was dizzy from loss of blood.  Could I drive that far?  Did I have a choice?  In the end I drove to a friend’s house and she took me while offering her husband up as a baby sitter.  Thank G0d and sunny Je$us above for both of them.

           When I finally reached the emergency room I was at a loss for what to say when they asked what exactly was ailing me.  I had no words.  Fortunately my friend has had some medical training and promptly saved me by telling the person in charge piously I was bleeding from the rectum.    When it was my turn to meet up with a doctor he told me the worse piece of news yet. 
     
        He was going to see what was going on down there.  Nervous in my service I explained that I was mortified that the first and probably only time we would meet in this lifetime he was going to have to look up my a$$hole.  He took it in stride.  The nurse asked the doctor “Would you like to lube up first?”  He calmly replied “No, I don’t think so.”  What the hell and sonny Je$us?  Are you kidding me?  To say I freaked out is an understatement.  I frantically pointed out that excuse me there was ALWAYS time for lube.  I didn’t even go to medical school and I have enough sense to KNOW that if you are going to stick your finger up some poor soul’s a$$ you should lube up.  My frantic pleas hit home and he had the good sense to lube up before invading George‘s personal space.

      They took my blood pressure and that is when hell broke loose.  It was dangerously high and in that instant George was almost forgotten.  Blood work was ordered along with an IV.  The lady paid to take my blood arrived on the scene first.  She took one look at me and decided the person starting the IV could have the pleasure of poking me and left as quickly as she came.   In strolls the lady prepared to torture me.  She searched for a vein and couldn’t find a single one.  I made fists as she smacked my arm around and then my hand.  Not deterred she left and returned with a hot towel and wrapped it around my arm.  After my arm was thoroughly hot she proceeded to go digging for veins again.  After several painful pokes I couldn’t help but ask if she had found a vein yet.  At that point she said something that startled me even worse than the thought of my sore a$$ being probed.   Evidently my veins were running away from her and she couldn’t get them threaded.  What??  Veins run away?  Where the hell are they going to go?  I quickly spoke up “Obviously my veins don’t like you if they are running from you.  You better FIND someone else to have a go!”  The expert was called in and she had no problem managing to draw blood with one poke without batting an eye.  They obviously gave up on the IV which was fine by me.

       Finally the doctor returned to inform me just what he planned to do about my conditions after assuring me there was no sign of cancer, liver or kidney damage, or internal bleeding.  He ordered blood pressure medication which I probably can look forward to swallowing for the rest of my life since my numbers were so alarming I was on the verge of a stroke.    He informed me he didn’t make a practice of slicing off hemorrhoids so George was safe to fade away on his own.  Armed with a strategy to conquer and defeat George, prescriptions for more blood pressure and pain medication I was sent on my merry way.

      It was an all time low for my bottom.  Slowly and surely I will heal and regain my strength.  I thanked the doctor for being so kind.  I thanked my friends for helping with my kids and helping me face an ultimately embarrassing ordeal that needed to be faced.  I thanked G0d that I now know I will not die from my a$$ bubble.  That would just be more than this ole heart could bear until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.