When Memories Fade

     Flipping through pictures used to bring Grandma joy as she recalled each precious moment frozen forever in each setting.

      She used to be able to think of the funniest anecdotes about the people and places featured eliciting giggles from anyone within earshot.

      Slowly the memories began to fade to the farthest reaches of her mind until they were mere glimmers and then extinguished entirely.

       Instead of bringing joy and precious memories, the photographs began to bring a sense of loss and sadness which resulted in an immediate sense of anxiety and fear.

      The only memory she managed to miraculously retain was her lifelong relationship of love, devotion, and faith in Jesus to guide her to the unwavering beacon of light ahead where the anxiety and fear could no longer torment her.

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Photographs

       The question today from NaBloPoMo is would you rather lose your blog or your pictures?  Although I have put hours of time into my blog, I would much rather kiss it goodbye than lose my pictures.  Last August I got to experience what it was like first hand to lose my blog.  The web host I used had decided to go out of business.  Since I used their software to update my blog, I lost all access to it.  It was pure luck that my domain renewal was due a couple short months after.  Instead of renewing the domain name of the site I no longer could update, I let it go.  I was sad about it, but excited for the future.  I took the knowledge and experience I had acquired writing and working with that website and created a new website on blogger.  I have everything I have ever written saved, so in actuality I came out of a disaster that rocked the worlds of many fellow bloggers a little wiser and no worse for wear.

        If I lost my pictures I would be devastated.  My parents and grandparents are all gone, and I would be devastated if I lost the pictures I have of them.  It is all I have left except for my memories.  Even the memories are beginning to fade into the recesses of my mind.  The pictures help keep my memories vivid and alive.  Without pictures, I would find it difficult to keep my parents alive for my kids and for myself.  At the same time I would be heartbroken to lose my wedding pictures, pictures of my kids when they were babies, and even pictures of my pets when they were small.  It would be really hard for me.  I do have a picture of them all frozen in my mind of exactly how they looked then.  Still, I would be lost without the documented proof to cherish.  My pictures may not hold much value to other people, but they mean the world to me.  

        When my Dad died, I was floored by how little my sister valued pictures.  She didn’t seem to want any of them.  In the end, she brought all of them to me before she moved away.  She left them behind without a backward glance or any visible remorse.  I guess I am a reminiscent fool, because I like nothing better than to dust off the old photographs and remember.  It is ironic that I personally avoid the camera lens at all costs so there are few pictures of me, and lots of everyone else.  I honestly hate pictures of me.  I may have to swallow my distaste of being photographed  for my kids sake.  Someday when I am dead and long gone from this world, my kids will probably appreciate pictures of their mommy as much as I cherish pictures of mine until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.