Death is a facet of life we all must face. It is apart of our ultimate destiny. Even when death is imminent, no one knows the time of death. Death comes unexpectedly. It sneaks up and takes, snuffing life out like the flame of a candle. We are born, live, and then die. Being a fact of life doesn’t make death easier to understand.
In a few short days another Easter day will be upon us. Believers will celebrate the death and the resurrection of Je$us Chri$t. What a powerful and comforting thing! Je$us endured unbelievable torture and an excruciating very public death and was resurrected to illustrate his power and the everlasting life that awaits us all if only we believe.
When my mom died, I didn’t understand the “whys” of death. I didn’t understand that it was just part of the journey and not the end. Even though I watched her struggles, pain, and unbelievable suffering from the cancer that ravaged her body I was selfish and wanted to keep her here. I didn’t want her to leave me, ever. Before her death I couldn’t imagine my life continuing without her because she was such an integral part of it.
I watched as countless other family members suffered and then ended their journeys here on this earth. I read my Bible and searched for understanding. Very clearly Je$us states that if you ask, you will receive and if you seek, you will find and in the finding ultimately understand. Why must there be suffering? I believe the suffering humbles and forces us to seek and depend on G0d. In the hindsight of watching my mom and dad in their suffering, I believe that suffering cleanses the soul and prepares that individual for the next step of their journey through the valleys of death to everlasting life.
What about those who weren’t sick? What about those who are young and vibrant and their lives are snuffed out without warning by an accident? The only way I can reconcile my heart in these instances is to believe that their work here is through and their lives served their purpose. It still doesn’t make their deaths seem fair or justified. Somehow, someway I know their life served a purpose to the people that held them dear. Their life taught a lesson of some sort and ultimately fate took its course.
When I lost a baby when I was 5 months pregnant it was devastating. How can we justify the cruelty of the snuffing out of the promise of life? I just can’t. In retrospect I can only imagine that baby helped me appreciate and value the lives of my babies that did survive even more. Some heartless souls will argue that if a baby has never been born then their death shouldn’t bother a person near as much. They have obviously never experienced that kind of loss.
I have always wondered what might have been if only that baby had lived. I have never forgotten the promise that baby held. For those months that it lived and grew within me, I bonded with it and dreamed of the day I would hold it in my arms. Unfortunately, that day never came. With each of my subsequent pregnancies I feared for the lives of my unborn children. I never doubted that death could come unexpectedly again. Death will come, and with faith the journey will continue until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
