D is for Death
Death is a facet of life we all must face. It is apart of our ultimate destiny. Even when death is imminent, no one knows the time of death. Death comes unexpectedly. It sneaks up and takes, snuffing life out like the flame of a candle. We are born, live, and then die. Being a fact of life doesn’t make death easier to understand.
In a few short days another Easter day will be upon us. Believers will celebrate the death and the resurrection of Je$us Chri$t. What a powerful and comforting thing! Je$us endured unbelievable torture and an excruciating very public death and was resurrected to illustrate his power and the everlasting life that awaits us all if only we believe.
When my mom died, I didn’t understand the “whys” of death. I didn’t understand that it was just part of the journey and not the end. Even though I watched her struggles, pain, and unbelievable suffering from the cancer that ravaged her body I was selfish and wanted to keep her here. I didn’t want her to leave me, ever. Before her death I couldn’t imagine my life continuing without her because she was such an integral part of it.
I watched as countless other family members suffered and then ended their journeys here on this earth. I read my Bible and searched for understanding. Very clearly Je$us states that if you ask, you will receive and if you seek, you will find and in the finding ultimately understand. Why must there be suffering? I believe the suffering humbles and forces us to seek and depend on G0d. In the hindsight of watching my mom and dad in their suffering, I believe that suffering cleanses the soul and prepares that individual for the next step of their journey through the valleys of death to everlasting life.
What about those who weren’t sick? What about those who are young and vibrant and their lives are snuffed out without warning by an accident? The only way I can reconcile my heart in these instances is to believe that their work here is through and their lives served their purpose. It still doesn’t make their deaths seem fair or justified. Somehow, someway I know their life served a purpose to the people that held them dear. Their life taught a lesson of some sort and ultimately fate took its course.
When I lost a baby when I was 5 months pregnant it was devastating. How can we justify the cruelty of the snuffing out of the promise of life? I just can’t. In retrospect I can only imagine that baby helped me appreciate and value the lives of my babies that did survive even more. Some heartless souls will argue that if a baby has never been born then their death shouldn’t bother a person near as much. They have obviously never experienced that kind of loss.
I have always wondered what might have been if only that baby had lived. I have never forgotten the promise that baby held. For those months that it lived and grew within me, I bonded with it and dreamed of the day I would hold it in my arms. Unfortunately, that day never came. With each of my subsequent pregnancies I feared for the lives of my unborn children. I never doubted that death could come unexpectedly again. Death will come, and with faith the journey will continue until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
Happy Easter to you.
ReplyDeleteSandra, Happy Easter to you as well! Thanks for stopping by to read and for your comments!
DeleteVery reflective post on death. Very heart felt. I kept thinking of the song called, "There will be a day" by Jeremy Camp. Really reminiscent of your words here...although I do like the Diamond Rio song equally as well. If you haven't heard that song by Jeremy Camp listen to it when you can. ;)
ReplyDeleteJenn, I will have to listen to the Jeremy Camp song! I am not sure if I have heard it before or not. I am so pleased you enjoyed my post. Thank you for stopping in to check out my letter D post.
DeleteOkay I had to check here before getting off my bottom and getting something done! This is a wonderfully written and deeply thought out post. I am happy that you have found your own way to accept and even embrace death. It is a fact of life that we are all dying each day. That sentence alone is why I live in the now. Always.
ReplyDeleteDeath is not to be feared but welcomed and those left behind, well, they must carry the pain of missing the one who has gone. The tears and the pain are always selfish. We mourn our own loss. It's okay, but it's important to know why we are so sad and broken sometimes. It's the gap in our own lives that make us inconsolable, not the death itself.
Excellent post, Kathy. ♥
Jo, the deaths of my parents were by far the hardest I have ever experienced. No one since has affected me quite as hard. I don't know how accepting I will be of fate if I were to ever lose my husband or my kids. I believe at that point I would no longer be giggly but certifiably mental. I don't believe I could endure losing any of them. I have been awful strong in the past, but I think losing any one of those people would send me over the edge. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments.
DeleteControversial topics here that you tackled for this leg of the A-Z Journey.
ReplyDeleteNovember Rain, when I wrote this it didn't even occur to me that it would be controversial. To me, it is just part of life. I remember the last conversation I ever had with my dad. If it came to a point that he was being kept alive by a machine, he wanted to die. He had waited years to be with my mom and he didn't want to face life without her anymore. He would either be with her in heaven or laying beside her in the cemetery. Either way, they would be together. His last words really underlined the true unknown of death. We can believe what we read in the Bible but no one really knows for sure. Those that do are no longer here to tell about it. Thank you for stopping in to read and for your comments!
DeleteLove your reflections about the one certainty in life.
ReplyDeletePaula, I am so pleased you enjoyed my post. Thank you for stopping in to read and for your comments!!
DeleteReally heartfelt and thoughtful post. Anyone who has lost a child has a closer relationship with death than most other people.
ReplyDeleteKaren, I am so pleased you enjoyed my post. Thank you for stopping in to read and for your comments.
DeleteSo heartfelt and wonderfully written in your touching so many areas of death, the promise of life and how we deal with it. Nothing in my life prepared me for the loss of my parents (10 months apart). I don't think we ever can be prepared.
ReplyDeleteAmy, I agree, nothing could have prepared me for my parents death either...although I think my mom's death prepared me for all the deaths that came after. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments.
DeleteBeautiful post. I haven't personally experienced death in my life. I think that makes it all the more scarier for me because I don't know how I'll react or cope. Even my all grandparents died before I was old enough to know what was going on. Death is a subject I hate thinking about for too long because I'm not religious, so I don't really have an idea of what is to come after death. It is an awful thought. Great blog you have here!
ReplyDeleteJoanne, I don't attend church. I just read my Bible. Death is so final. One of the hardest things for me was one minute a person is here and the next they are gone. Eventually death will be faced. At that point, you will know what to do and how to react because no way is a wrong way. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments. I am pleased you enjoyed my blogs. I have to have a way to reconcile my parents being gone, and to find comfort. It has always helped me to read the Bible. No one has any idea what really comes after death, so you are not alone. We can guess, and hope. But no one knows for sure. It could go on, or it could just be over.
DeleteLosing a baby is such a hard thing to come to terms with. I'm so sorry you had to know that pain.
ReplyDeleteWord Nerd, you are so sweet and kind. It was really hard, and I lived in such fear while pregnant for my two children. I was terrified I would lose them. I could never get excited about the baby until the baby was here in my arms. Thank you for stopping by to read, comment, and for your kindness.
DeleteOh, my dear Kathy. I am glad you find solace in the Bible, but let me recommend another book to you - Hope Edelman's Motherless Daughters. There are issues specific to those of s - like you & me - who've lost mothers, the way it echoes back when we have events, like a milestone in the lives of our own children - and can't share them with our mothers.
ReplyDeleteHowever uncomfortable with it we may be, death is a part of life. I am sorry for all your losses, including your sweet baby-to-be. My son and his lady lost theirs at that stage (5 months) just this last summer, and we will probably always mourn him, even if other children come along. {{hugs and love to you}}
Beverly, I will make a point into checking into that book. Thank you! As my life has progressed, otherwise happy occasions have been a little muted because I couldn't share it with her, and then my Dad. She missed the wedding to my husband, the births of both my babies, just a lot of things. I understand completely what your son and lady are going through. At 5 months you have already heard the heart beat, felt some movement, and really got used to the idea that you really are going to have a baby. I had already started getting nursery items around. Then I had to look at it afterwards. Thank you for stopping in to read and for your kind comments.
DeleteNice way to convey death. Even though we know their suffering is done, it is hard to understand why we have to let them go.
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful and blessed Easter!
Faith, Friends, and Flip Flops, I don't think I will ever understand except for the fact maybe it was time for me to grow up, go forward, and find my own way. I still miss my parents, grandparents, aunt, uncles, and cousin who have gone. Life is just not the same without them in it. Everything changes and becomes a new dynamic and you have to adjust and go on. I hope you have a wonderful and blessed Easter too!! Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments!
DeleteThanks for going 'deep' Kathy. I have been missing both of my parents for many years now (31 and 20), and wish I could have shared more of my life with them. My poor wife lost both of her parents very young and a brother and a sister (cancer all). Together we suffered the early miscarriage of a baby we called Benjamin.
ReplyDeleteFrom the Bible, I understand that death is part of our world because of sin. God warned us that if we disobeyed,"you will surely die". We, as the human race, disobeyed, and we die.
But Christ has defeated death! A believer is granted the security of saying with Paul; "Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?”, and will live again, and forever with a forgiving Savior!
Mike, which is a wonderfully comforting thing and pretty amazing! It sounds like you are like me and have had to deal with a lot of death in your family. I think all that death drew me closer to Him. If everyone was still here, I might not have the faith today that I have. I guess I crossed over into the controversial by posting this, but it is what I strongly believe and it came from the heart. Others may have different viewpoints and different beliefs and that is their right. I am open to them as well. No one really knows where we go when we die, or if we just are no more. The people that have know but have no way to communicate that to the rest of us. I am living proof that you don't have to be inside a church every time it opens its doors to have a deep faith and believe. I love your viewpoint and can tell you are well versed in the subject from visiting your site and reading your blogs. You and I are very much on the same page and I have learned a great deal from you. Thank you for stopping by, reading and for your kind and enlightening comments.
DeleteMy heart goes out to you for the loss of your baby. I lost two children at a very young age and I almost didn't recover. Happy Easter to you. I am a new follower from the challenge
ReplyDeleteMelissa, death is never easy but a part of life. Happy Easter to you too. Thank you for stopping by, for reading, your kind comments, and the follow!
DeleteI know the feeling 10 times over!it is not a good one at all.but in the end we somehow move on,knowing people are not suffering anymore!
ReplyDeleteRhonda, death is not fun and it is true. Somehow we go on and are comforted in the fact the suffering is over. Thank you for stopping in to read and for your kind comments.
DeleteThis was so well written, Kathy. You've written about the deaths in your family before and I share that same loss. My Dad died suddenly on Father's Day when I was only 19. It was quite a shock but I had no regrets. We had such a precious relationship and expressed our love for each other easily and often. Some have not experienced this special father-daughter relationship at all. So even though my special love was cut short, it was a blessing. Thanks, again, for sharing your inner thoughts of family.
ReplyDeleteBetty,how wild that your dad died on Father's Day! I am pleased that you enjoyed my post. Death really does affect a person's life forever after. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments.
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