Storm Haiku

torrential downpour

crash of thunder, lightning strikes

glimpse Nature’s fury 

Inspired by the prompt at

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Best of Fall Haiku

Spicy pumpkin pie

Vibrant leaves floating from trees

Crisp morning breezes.

Hot and Cold

Welcome to day 22 of BlogFest 2012!!  Today’s writing prompt is brought to us today by Betty at Today’s Baker.  

    What can be hot and cold?  Well let’s see, men, women, the weather, food, women who are hormonal, and all the above.   Why do I feel like dancing and singing the heat and snow miser song and kicking up my heels??  Living in the heart of the Midwest I get my fill of one day hot and  the next day cold every fall.  This week in particular has been a great example of that.  Today it reached 75 degrees.  Tomorrow the forecast is on the opposite end of the spectrum with the high only expected to reach 51 degrees tops and a low temperature plummeting to 34 degrees.  It is quite the drastic difference, but fairly normal for this time of year.   You aren’t quite sure whether to run the air conditioner or the heat.  Course half the time I am not sure whether to wind my a$$ or my watch anyways so I wing it.   It is just enough temperature change to insure that most people will be sick as hell and death warmed over by Monday after a weekend of rollercoaster temperatures and living life to the max.  If they aren’t sick, they will be calling in to proclaim they are sick simply because if they didn’t catch the latest bug their kids have and they are sure to have it SOON.

 

     As far as the hormonal tidal waves of hot and cold go, I am approaching the golden age when I can expect to be hotter than the blazes of hell even if I am standing half naked in a$$ deep snow in sub zero temperatures.  On second thought, maybe I am already there!  I am the nut who has to have it cold in the bedroom to sleep and pay absolutely no never mind to traipsing out barefooted in the snow to dig up a dog leash in my nightgown.  A lot of that is because I am simply to lazy to be bothered with shoes, after all it isn’t that far to go and not that long I will be out in the elements so WHY waste my time with shoes and a coat?  Yeah, I am different that way.  Usually I am half asleep and half past give a $hit when I let the dogs out to whiz in the center of the night anyway.  A person can’t be expected to dress appropriately then, right?    Besides I can count the minutes until I will be snug as a bug and warm in my little bed once again.  My husband is paranoid about being seen, but I really don’t care.  With half the world women and the other half men, chances are you are one or the other so what’s the big deal?  Most people have seen it before.  Every now and then you will see someone that has all the parts, which is different and definitely a reason to stare, but if you are normal there really is no big deal.  Maybe you just got to air it out.

      I am going to go off on a tangent, so bear with me.  If I have to drink water it has got to be ice cold.  No other kind of water will do.  I don’t want to just wet my whistle.   I want to be refreshed.  In my world, soup was meant to be HOT.  It should always be hot, end of story.  One time I was staying at the Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island and they served cold cucumber soup for dinner in the dining room as a precursor to prime rib.  I remember it well.  When you stay at the Grand Hotel, they expect you to dress for dinner.  You can’t just waltz in wearing a t shirt and jeans.  They expect women in a dress and men to be in dress pants and a dinner jacket.  Seriously, I kid you not.  I waltzed in hungry enough to eat the a$$hole out of a skunk and they served me cold green soup.  Ewwww!!!  I thought they had FORGOT to cook it, then realized they MEANT to serve it that way.  Needless to say, after our expensive dinner we went back to the room, changed into normal vacation clothes (casual shirt and jeans) and walked to town and ate our fill of burgers and fries at a local bar.

      Considering I had absolutely no clue what I would write for this prompt letting my mind ramble has got me a blog written which is good enough for me until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

Summer’s Wrath

     I can not remember a summer that has been so hot and so dry here in the Midwest.  It may have been hot and it may have been humid, but at least it always managed to rain.  This summer not only is it hotter than the blazes of hell, but there hasn’t been any rain at all.  It is dryer than a popcorn fart.  One loose cigarette out a passing car window and the whole place would go up like a roman candle.

      Because of this continuing draught, the powers that be put a county wide ban on the use of fireworks, and except for a few aerial bursts of red, blue, and green the fourth of July was quiet.  Our town cancelled their fireworks display.  I even read in the newspaper that people who were caught setting off fireworks that just happened to start a blaze were arrested and carted off to jail.  

       I went past fireworks vendors who were so desperate they were out alongside the road waving signs saying “it rained!”  A birdie must have pooped on their head because I know it never rained.  I would have noticed.  I have been shifting my sprinkler from one point to the next in my yard at regular intervals throughout the day all summer long.  They were left with no customers.  By the time the holiday came and went the local newspapers were proclaiming the woes of the fireworks dealers who were basically on the verge of bankruptcy due to the continuous fear that one stray spark would cause another ravaging fire disaster like the fires out west.

       A person can’t even enjoy the swimming pool.  We went out to the pool last night in the hopes for a little relief from the heat and what we discovered was water so hot it burned the skin.  We had to add water from the hose to turn the lava hot water into bath water.  On the upside we weren’t cold when we finally decided to get out of the swimming pool until we stepped into the icy cold air conditioned house.

       I know I am not alone.  A lot of people across the country are guzzling water to keep heat stroke at bay, trying to water grass in an effort to turn it back to green, and watering a vegetable garden that withers seconds after the water has been turned off.  It has gotten so hot here at my house that the tree’s leaves in the front yard are falling to the ground dried up and brown.  You would think it was the beginning of fall instead of the middle of summer.  You know you are in trouble when the weather guy on the local news threatens to wear ugly ties until we receive a good soaking rain and is starting to ask for viewers to send in donations of the ugliest ties they can find so he can keep up his end of the bargain.

       Will it ever rain?  Will the temperatures ever break out of the 90’s?  Inquiring minds want to know!!  I have no answers.  All I know is that I am no meteorologist.  I am no farmer.  I am just a lady who wonders if we are getting a little taste of hell fire right here on earth until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

The Perfect Weather

     I love all the seasons! Any day with the sun shining is a perfect day in my book. It would be a day that isn’t to hot or to cold but just right with a pleasant temperature between 70-80 degrees.  The skies would be brilliantly blue filled with white fluffy clouds.  A slight breeze perfumed with the smell of flowers and freshly mowed grass would fill the air.  

     On such a lovely day, no matter whether spring, summer, or fall, I would head outdoors to play track ball with my kids, take a walk, or lose myself in a good book while my kids played on the swing set or ran about playing one of their many games.  I would plan a picnic or a day to explore a park or a zoo.

      If it was summer and a tad warmer, I might rush to the beach to laze away the day watching the tide roll in and out as my kids built sand castles and buried their toes in the sand.  More likely I would take a swim in the backyard pool, and then relax in a lawn chair, catching rays, watching my kids play as I bury myself within the pages of a great book.

       If it was fall I would venture outdoors armed with my handy dandy leaf blower and attack the mountains of leaves drifting down.  Then I would enjoy watching them burn as the sun set and turned into a beautiful night with the moon watching over me and stars twinkling from the sky.


      

        In the winter I would delight in the cotton ball sized snow falling from the sky and how the world was magically transformed into a world blanketed in white.  Then I would rush outside and attempt to catch a few snowflakes on my tongue, make snow angels, and build the best snowman ever with my kids.  As long as the sun peeked out eventually to say hello, I would be happy.

       If my husband was home, the perfect weather would demand golf cart rides around the neighborhood and succulent perfectly grilled meat filling the air with the most mouth watering smells.  If the weather is bright and sunny there were would be yard work, gardening, and memories being made filled with laughter and smiles.  I will be walking on sunshine  until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

     

Hot or Cold?

      The question from NaBloPoMo today is whether I would rather have it very hot or very cold outside.  This is an easy one for me.  When given the choice if I would rather freeze my a$$ off or sweat like a pig I will go with freezing my a$$ off every single time.

       I have suffered heat stroke many times in my life.  I am just not a person that can handle the heat at all.  My first major run in with heat stroke was when I decided to take up using a tanning bed.  I worked next door to a tanning store at the time, so it seemed only natural to drift next door and sign up for a package.  I bought a tube of Swedish Beauty tanning lotion, lathered up, and prepared to bake in the tanning bed.  One night I just became entirely too hot during my tanning session.  I rushed home feeling unwell where I proceeded to vomit uncontrollably.  My boss at the time had been worried about me and decided to stop by and check up on me after she closed up for the night.  She found me deathly sick, burning up, and with a violent case of the chills.  She ran me a bath of tepid water and stayed with me until I began to feel better.  A doctor later confirmed I had a heat stroke and to be very careful in the future.  I gave up tanning beds after that little nightmare.

       

      It is always hotter than the blazes of hell when our county fair is in full swing.  Last year I desperately wanted to take my kids for wristband day at the fair.  My husband was home and we were going to go as a family.  We waited while our kids lined up and rode the rides.  All of a sudden I felt unwell and dizzy.  I went directly to the medical building at the fairgrounds where I proceeded to vomit uncontrollably until I was given a shot to stop me.  I was severely dehydrated and once again suffering from heat stroke.

        After that little catastrophe I realize I just don’t handle the heat well.  On the flipside of the coin, I love snow and the bitter cold that goes with it.  When it is cold outside you can always add another layer of clothing and be moving right along.  When it is hotter than the blazes of hell, all you can do is strip down and stay in the air conditioning.    Unless you live at the Playboy mansion, walking around naked just isn’t acceptable.  Armed with air conditioners and a swimming pool, I am ready to endure the summer heat while continuing to dream of future white Christmas’s until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

Rain

     Although you will probably never find me praying for rain or doing a rain dance, I don’t mind rain when it does happen.  It is kind of like the $hit in life that a person has no control over, it happens so it is best to deal with it instead of complain about it.  If I happen to be at a concert or an outdoor event, it is going to take a lot more than rain to force me to hang it up and go home.  However, a little thunder, lightning, and wind gusts strong enough to blow me back to start will send me packing.

     I am not one of these people that cart an umbrella everywhere I go in case I get caught in a down pour.  If it decides to rain, so be it.  I will rush through it.  A little rain never hurt anybody.  It is only water and most people voluntarily get wet in the shower.  They will willingly go swimming or run through the sprinkler.  G0d forbid a little rain falls from the heavens.  The same people will go into a panic and arm themselves with raingear and umbrellas or seek cover until the rain subsides.  It is not acid.  It is water.  I have places to go and have no desire to wait around.  I am more than willing to get wet and dash through the rain.

     Rain is actually rather invigorating.  I don’t care how old I get, getting wet makes me laugh.  It is fun.   If you get the crazy notion to run and become Miss Athletic, a little rain feels really good when you are all hot and sweaty.   When I was on the cross country team in high school we would always go out and run miles on end during practice.  One time I got stuck miles away from the school in a downpour.  You can bet I stepped it up a notch and ran a little faster that day.  The fact that I was running along side the road made little difference to the motorists speeding by.  They kept right on trucking full speed ahead splashing mud puddles all over me.  When I arrived back at the school I looked like a muddy drenched rat.  I wasn’t alone.  The whole team looked that way.  The only difference was the rest of the girls took time in the locker room to primp.  Stupid me, I raced headlong into the gym where the girls on the volleyball team were practicing.  They all stopped and stared at me like I was an alien from Mars.  I suppose I looked like an alien to those prissy girls who were to perfect to even sweat.

      Being out in a downpour adds to the adventure in life.  Sure you get wet, but that is the beauty of it.  Rain makes the flowers and the plants grow.  I love how when it rains the house becomes so dark that you can barely find you’re a$$ with both hands.  It is perfect weather to sleep in, or simply burrow in with a good book until the rain passes.  It often cools the earth after a hot, sultry day.  I can honestly say the only thing I really hate about rain is the mud and puddles that are left behind in the aftermath.  I hate high stepping over mud puddles.  I hate tip toeing through the mud.

         Rain is just part of life.  If folks are so willing to swim or jump in a lake, then I just don’t get why they have a problem getting wet when it rains.  They will dry, and life does go on.  Just let it rain until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.