Censorship

      In my past life before kids I was the acquisitions clerk at our town’s library which pretty much meant I ordered everything a patron could check out.  I didn’t select the materials.  I simply acquired them.  Staff from within the different departments made the selections.  Everything was fair game within their genre.  The library had a strict policy about censorship which meant you would find just about everything there except hard core pornography.


       Our director at the time felt that it was the library’s job to have what the public was looking for.  Just because one group of people were against something didn’t mean another person might not want to study it or find use for the materials.  In the years that I worked there I seen orders for all kinds of things come across my desk, simply everything from soup to nuts whether it was popular fare or controversial.    Occasionally we would receive something that was deemed inappropriate for library use.  Maybe the selector had seen the subject matter and thought it was perfect but didn’t realize what all it entailed.     Having worked in a public library setting I was in the trenches of censorship and was often aware of what was considered appropriate or what wasn’t.  It rarely had to do with content and had more to do with how the material would be used. Was it a journal, did it include crayons, materials to get started with origami, or something else that would be long gone by the time it was returned to the library? 



      Very rarely do we read about groups protesting books and having old fashioned bon fires these days.  Because of the movie rating systems that are in place today movies are classified so the viewer will know what to expect.  They are not banned, and in my opinion they shouldn’t be.  It falls under the “freedom of speech” clause in our constitution.  It is good to know what to expect but not ok to take it out of circulation completely.  What may not be appropriate for some may be useful or entertaining to someone else.  


    

      With warnings and ratings on music, videos, books, movies, and television we can make informed choices about what we want to read, view, or buy.  If the stuff isn’t out there, we lose our right to choose.   In today’s world most information is readily available and only a few keystrokes away or a double click of the old mouse.  It is out there, uncensored with no holds barred for whoever happens to be looking for it whether on the internet or in the local library.  It is as it should be.  That is all I have to say about that until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

Time

     My husband finds in his job there is a lot of hurry up and wait involved. Hurry up and get where you are going and then wait, wait, wait once you get there. We rush to be on time for a doctor’s appointment only to wait once we get there to be called back to the exam room. Then we wait a little longer for the doctor to show up. If you still are sick by the time the doctor shows up you really were in need of the doctor after all. It wasn’t just some fart cross wise that could have passed at home without costing you a dime. Doesn’t really matter what you hurry for, inevitably once you get there you are going to have to wait. It must be some kind of sick Murphy’s Law designed to grate on the nerves of those in a hurry.

     We schedule our lives whether it is around a work schedule, school schedule, or the passage of the seasons. We can’t get away from the passage of time. The seconds, minutes, hours, and years continue to tick by. Even if you don’t work, you are on a time table. You make sure to eat at the same time everyday, you go to bed at roughly the same time, and when your television shows are on you make sure you are situated on the couch ready to watch or the DVR is set to record.

     I have learned several truths about time over the course of my life. Time heals most wounds-physical or mental. You never forget, but time makes the pain a little less brutal fading as time passes. We hurry up and wait more than we do anything else. For those that are rarely on time, rushing in at the last possible second is as normal as breathing in and out. Still others would have a complete conniption if they weren’t on time if not early. Time waits for no one, and one can only keep going forward and can never go back.

      Is that reflection I see in the mirror really me? Time has made its adjustments. Although my hair is still brown, a few grey hairs are evident now. Although I am still short, the middle age spread that plagues most plagues me too. I am not as young as I once was. Time has taken its toll as it does on everyone. From the moment we are born, we are constantly aging and nothing is under warranty. Eventually all our parts do wear out.

     With the passage of time, experience is gained making us a little more knowledgeable and at times a tad cockier. We acquire a certain amount of self entitlement and our ability to sit back and take $hit becomes next to impossible. The older people get the bitchier they become. Why? Because they have lived longer and feel with the more years they have lived the more they deserve to have everyone else kiss their a$$es and listen to what they have to say. The older people get the more likely they will be plagued with a hell of a lot more aches and pains than they endured in their youth.

     Regardless how much time each of us spend on the miraculous merry-go-round of life eventually we all get kicked off and get to soar off into the abyss and the here after. The expression being their time is now up. They accomplished all they were meant to. What about those who die suddenly? Did they have enough time here?? Obviously G0d figured their brief life served some purpose and their job here was done. There is a time to be born, a time to live, and a time to die. After we are dead and gone, those that remain will continue to measure our lives and deaths in terms of time. Time is a measurement of life, and as precious as life is, the time we have and the time we give is the most precious of all until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

Wordless Wednesday: Origami Flowers

The Disappearing Snowman- BFF 160

   Sunday afternoon my kids begged to go out and play in the snow. They built the most remarkable snowman, easily the best looking snow person that has ever graced my yard. My son complained of feeling cold, so my daughter and I finished up. She rolled the balls, and I got the privilege of assembly. With a hot red pepper for a nose, sea shells for eyes, and a curved stick for its smile, the snowman seemed to come alive with personality. It grinned and we smiled back, completely exhilarated and pleased with our efforts.

     Later I noticed the hot pepper had fallen out and our snowman had lost one of his eyes. Oh hell no! That simply wouldn‘t do! I grabbed my coat and rushed out to make repairs. Later I glanced out the window again and was taken aback to discover instead of facing the back door as the snowman had been, it was now gazing toward the neighbors yard. My eyes were playing tricks on me, and with a shake of my head, I made supper pushing aside my uneasiness. Before long the back yard had been shrouded in pitch darkness.

     I went to bed confident my happy snow friend was keeping vigil. Unfortunately, rain had come like a thief in the night and had effectively stolen my magical friend away. I discovered his absence as soon as I let the dogs out into the early morning light. I felt sad and cheated somehow. Only the bottom ball remained and his personal effects lay in a puddle of melted snow. Sometime in the night, he packed up his balls and left me. Just as magically as he had appeared, he was gone with only a precious memory in his place.  

Thinking Out Loud

      Even though I would like nothing better than to write some brilliant story that not only inspires but forces the reader to laugh out loud and eventually pi$$ their pants in their mirth, I find myself facing writer’s block the size of Mt. Everest. I have found that the latest BFF challenge requires a short story of 300 words or less has me frazzled. Am I capable of writing a story with a conflict and a resolution?? Let’s just say, I gave it the college try and it is up to all that read it whether it sucks or not.  

    

        The day didn’t start well. Not only was there pouring rain to greet me when I woke this morning, I discovered the whole bag of dog food had been dumped on the floor. If cleaning up that mess wasn’t enough to jar me wide awake, then gazing outside where a magnificent snowman the kids and I had built the day before had stood, reduced to only it’s bottom ball with the hot red pepper nose and sea shell eyes in a puddle at its base certainly was.

     As if things couldn’t get worse, my son woke up sick to his stomach, tired, and looking the color of fresh lettuce. Ugh. No rest for the wicked. All that wonderful, inspirational writing I had planned for and had actually prayed for disappeared like a fart in the wind.

     

       Here I am hour’s later writing about my puddle of a snowman. Honestly, how pathetic is that?? Amazing what can inspire a person. It only shows the downward spiral my day is destined to take. It’s not all bad. There is that one on one alone time with my son wrapped up in blankets watching Disney movies on the couch. There is the fact that the child sized Lightning McQueen sleeping bag my son has zipped around me actually has room in it. Wonders of wonders it fits looser than a stuffed sausage. I don’t even think my kid will have to grease my carcass up to get me out of it which is amazing in itself. We take turns feeling cold like some desperate dance. His tummy hurts, and then my tummy hurts. He is freezing, and then I am freezing. He’s hot; I’m cold and vice versa. We trade headaches and symptoms like cards in an endless game.

      I imagine Bob Harper scaring the fat off my a$$ like he does the countless contestants on the Biggest Loser, and even that doesn’t bring a smile. I wish our snowman had magically taken my big a$$ with him when he packed up his balls and left in the night. I would never get it so easy. Sending a nasty memo to my a$$ wouldn’t have the desired effect either. G0d knows there are some days I wish it would cop an attitude and be gone. Pity that there is sweating, work, and a G0d awful diet involved in the quest for weight loss. All that trusty snowman had to do was hydrate himself with a little water from the heavens and he was able to kiss his big happy a$$ goodbye. Where is the fairness in that?? If I didn’t know better, I might be convinced I was at the edge of the depths of despair staring into the abyss hoping against hope that any of this mindless dribble is golden.  Writer's block may be best handled by the same theory used in the "Field of Dreams".  If I write it, it will come! 

     My mind is rambling, the wind chimes tinkling in the wind, and I continue to write attempting to find my groove. Have I found it?? Hell if I should know. I did write something. Whether it was worth a look see is entirely up to you, the curious reader. Rest assured I am still three sandwiches short of the picnic basket that has been forever lost. Even worse, I’m not even sure I ever had a picnic basket in the first place. Yogi Bear would be so disgusted.  Bless you for stopping in to check out the latest rambling about the life of a trucker’s wife.

Tasty Tuesday: Chunky Chicken and Noodle Bake

8 oz egg noodles

1 10 oz package of frozen peas

1 can cream of chicken soup

½ soups can of milk

2 cups cubed cooked chicken

1 TBSP chives

2 TBSP parsley

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease a medium baking dish with cooking spray. Cook egg noodles according package directions; drain. Place in prepared baking dish.

In pan mix can of soup, milk, and peas. Add chicken and noodles and stir to mix well.

Transfer to baking dish. Sprinkle with chives and parsley. Bake casserole until heated through for about 15 minutes. Serve and enjoy! Bon Appetit!

Pet Peeves

     Everyone has something that drives them completely insane, pi$$es them instantly off, and qualifies as a pet peeve with its regular ability to do so. With the pre-menopausal beast rearing its angry head on occasion, G0d only knows…my list is most likely to get a lot longer before it gets shorter. So here goes…

1. People who insist on driving 10 miles or more under the speed limit. Let’s just assume I have no where else to go except the library or the grocery store, I still want to get there sometime in this life time. I am not getting any younger waiting for you!!

2. Store clerks who are clueless. Is it really possible to live and work two hours drive away from Chicago and not know that the city is in Illinois?? Please remove your head from you’re a$$ before you open your mouth. If you don’t know, discreetly ask someone else instead of illuminating your stupidity to everyone, especially me. At least I can view you with a little more respect for trying to seek knowledge instead of appearing like a know it all that knows nothing.

3. Store clerks who are lazy and rude. Hello, if you work in a pet store you should know what general direction the flea collars are in. Don’t try to sell me something better. If I had $50.00 to blow on some ultra sonic device that scares fleas off my pet, I wouldn’t have asked where the flea collars were. I know you are paid by the hour and are not on commission. I am not asking you to walk me to the flea collars and demonstrate each one. I only want to know where there are. Since there are five store clerks standing together behind the register with nothing better to do, it wouldn’t kill one of you to share a little knowledge with a customer. Newsflash: you are being paid to help me, not just to take up space.

4. Telemarketers. No I do not want to take a survey. Even if I have nothing better to do with myself but pick my butt, I would rather be doing that than talking to you. I have no money and no desire to buy or donate anything. I realize you are getting paid to pester people, and I feel your pain, but kindly leave ME alone. I am not that lonely yet. You are annoying.

5. Dirty clothes or laundry on the floor. We don’t live in a 100 room mansion. If you have enough energy to take it off, go the rest of the way and take it to the dirty clothes basket so I don’t have to. I wash it, fold it, and put it away…is a little cooperation to much to ask?





6. Bill collectors who are stupid enough to call me looking for money. If I had money I would have paid you. If I knew when I was going to have money, I would have called YOU, and informed YOU when the happy occasion would occur. Threatening me with collection doesn’t impress me much. I have been there before, and guess what? The world didn’t come to an end because it. The sun still came out the next day, and guess what I still owed the money. Wow, who would have thought? My husband gets paid by the mile so the amount we are paid fluctuates and is never the same. It is impossible to predict. In future, pry out your bunched up panties which are firmly lodged in you’re a$$ and send your request in the mail like everybody else. By the way, you just won a free bushel of horse shit. Enjoy it. Your phone call is wasted on the likes of me.

      There you have it: the top 6 things that get under my skin. I have discovered the heavenly bliss of silence since my phone has been turned off, and I LIKE IT!!!! I will quietly crawl down off my soapbox now until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

Wordless Wednesday: Winter Sky

I Had a Dream- BFF 158

     It was late. I burrowed into the blankets pulling them  around my face. The dogs scrambled onto the bed and dove under the covers finding a place snuggled against me to sleep for the night. We were all searching for warmth. I hadn’t felt tired, but now that I was all toasty and warm it seemed natural to fall asleep.


    
       As I closed my eyes I said my prayers silently to myself and then reflected on the day’s events. I reflected on the fact that my daughter’s eyes were to the point where she needed glasses. Like her dad and I before her, she too would need to be tested. Without a doubt in my mind I knew, she would need glasses. The headaches had begun. Her eyes only seemed to bother her while she read, so at this point the reading glasses from the dollar store would suffice. With the easy purchase of the reading glasses the headaches had vanished for the time being.

     At some point in the night I found myself in the place where I had grown up. I drove my car into the driveway and parked. The house stood presumably empty. Still, I felt drawn to it. It was the house my parents shared their lives, the place I had grown up, and the home where I had returned to celebrate every holiday. It stood alone and beckoned me. No one lived there anymore, or would again.

,

     I unlocked the door and stepped inside. The house was cold, empty, and devoid of emotion. I stepped into the front hall way and gazed into the empty living room visualizing exactly how it had once appeared with everything in its place. My heart sank as I realized they weren’t there, and would never be again. I was enveloped in sadness. I made my tour through the house gazing dejectedly into the kitchen and then moved onto the bedrooms.   
     

      As I rounded the corner, I smelled cigarette smoke and seen a soft glow at the end of the hallway. My heart leaped in my chest, and my breath caught. I heard someone moving about in their bedroom. As I approached their room, terror seized me. Who was here?? I was not alone!! I knew I should leave and quickly, but my curiosity wouldn’t allow me to. I had to see what or who was in their room. The furniture was long gone, and the light seemed to be coming from something close to the window. Whether it was a sinister force remained to be seen. I crept closer trying to see the source of the light. The light took the form of a menacing ghostly apparition. 

       Exhibiting bravery I no longer felt I marched into the center of the room prepared to take the intruder on for better or for worse.  All of a sudden the light sped toward me. I turned tail and ran for the front door desperate to get away. Gripped with terror, I ran as if the hounds of hell were after me.   I raced screaming into the darkness of the abyss that swallowed me with the pounding footsteps matching my heart beat pounding in my head.  Suddenly,  I was covered in sweat and frantically struggling against the confines of the covers. The dogs all began barking at once and I sat bolt upright in the bed.  I had a dream. As my heart and breathing raced and I struggled to calm myself I kept telling myself it was only a dream. It had been so real!! I turned on the light, still shaken by the images from the dream. What did it all mean? Even as I sat there and comforted the dogs, memories of the dream escaped me. Before long, I no longer could remember what it was all about.  All I know is that it scared the living be Je$u$ out of me. It was still the center of the night. I had never left the comfort of my bed. As I became more awake, the memories of the dream faded. Not taking any chances, I grabbed the Danielle Steel book on my nightstand and quickly lost myself within its pages.

       It is weird how dreams can quickly take on a life of their own, terrify us, and then just as quickly be forgotten.  Thankfully dreams that come to us when we are fast asleep are simply that, and that is all I have to say until the next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker's wife.

Tasty Tuesday: Crescent Beef Bites

1 pound ground beef

2 TBSP onion flakes

½ tsp garlic salt

½ cup minced fresh mushrooms

3 oz cream cheese

2 (8-count) packages of crescent rolls

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cook beef in a medium skillet over medium-high heat until browned and crumbly, about 10 minutes. Drain. Add onion flakes and garlic salt.

Add mushrooms and cream cheese to the beef mixture; mix well. Separate crescent rolls into 8 rectangles. Spoon some beef mixture over each piece of dough. Roll to enclose filling.

Press ends of rolls to seal. Place roll-ups on ungreased baking sheets. Bake until golden brown, about 15 minutes.

Cut each roll-up into quarters. Serve immediately. Bon Appetit!

Love and Kisses- BFF 156

     Most people first experience their first love and kisses from their parents. From those magical kisses springs a belief that a simple hug and kiss from Mommy can right all the wrongs of the world curing every boo-boo that comes along.

     From the first moments I laid eyes on my precious babies until the present day they have been smothered with love and kisses as is proper. It didn’t take long for them to learn that Mommy’s kisses would make boo-boos all better. Mommy’s kiss and a band aid preferably with some kid friendly graphics would take all the hurt away and dry even the most stubborn of tears. Ah, the innocence of youth! As you age you realize a couple of pain killers reap miracles as well.

     Once puberty hits there comes an over whelming need to swap saliva with the opposite sex, preferably with that particular hot guy or girl who you’ve been drooling over. With luck and a bit of searching you come across someone who has the ability to make your knees melt and your toes curl. At that point kisses transform and represent lust more than a true case of love. Providence knows you don’t want to go around spreading the love and kissing every Tom, Dick, and Harry. A little of that could end you up with a case of lip fungus or something loads worse. A person needs to be a bit selective to avoid the label of slut being branded on your forehead. Still, there is fun in the search. The other day I watched the movie “Never Been Kissed” starring Drew Barrymore. When her colleagues discovered her character had never been kissed they figured her problems were a lot more serious than the issue of whether she wears colored underwear or owns such things as thongs.

     Eventually, if you are lucky, you find your match and can settle into a lifetime of love and kisses which eventually leads to marriage and you pushing around a baby carriage. At that point the whole love and kisses comes full circle because you find yourself kissing your spouse, your kids, and maybe even your parents or grandparents on a good day. It’s the power of love, the power of the kiss, and whether designed to melt butter or cure all the wrongs in your cute little tike’s world, it is powerful. Kiss to say hello, kiss to say goodbye, kiss to show affection, or kiss you’re a$$ goodbye, no matter what you choose, may you enjoy all the kisses you can stomach whether from your special someone or your dog until the next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

Letter to Myself at 16, Love Me- BFF 157

      With the knowledge of what the future holds for you, I have several choice pieces of advice that I hope you will take to heart and follow.

     High school is just a microscopic moment in your life. Try not to let your lack of friends mar your outlook of the big picture. You are on the right track thinking that family is important. Enjoy your family while they are around, appreciate them, and live each day as if it were your last telling each person how much they mean to you. Life is short and you will find that out soon enough.

      As far as the opposite sex goes, it doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. Know that the boys that you are currently in school with are not the ones you will spend the rest of your life with. They are merely ships passing in the night. Don’t pine after someone who has no interest in you. Don’t waste your time! Focus on what makes you happy and value friendships. Don’t be so quick to say yes to the first a$$ that notices your existence!! Trust me that it isn’t worth the heartache that awaits you. Value yourself for you and realize you don’t need a guy to make you happy. Find joy within. Also, it really doesn’t matter how big your b00bs are in life, so quit wishing they were bigger!! You will discover after you have kids that bigger isn’t always better.

      When you get it into your head to spread your wings and go to college follow your instincts and study something you are passionate about right out of the starting gate instead of settling on a passing fancy that quickly fizzles. Don’t be so quick to throw in the towel. If you get your education out of the way and stick with it, you have more chance of actually following through and getting that degree. If you keep putting it off, you never will get it. Life will take over and the opportunity will pass you by. Grab the bull by the balls and go after it! Quit being so afraid of the unknown. Keep your eyes on the prize!

       The biggest piece of advice I have to offer is to give others a chance. Don’t throw in the towel to quickly. Don't ever give up!  You may live to regret it! Remember that the answers you seek are no further than the deepest desires and recesses of your heart. If you follow your inner voice you will never take the wrong course. Have faith and bide your time. As far as people that are lost causes go, sometimes you simply have to cut your losses and walk away. Finally, don’t worry, and be happy. Give your worries to the L0rd, count your blessings, and take it one day at a time and you will be OK. Above all, strive to be happy regardless of your lot in life. Find the good in all situations and life will be one grand adventure instead of a nightmare from hell.

Love, Me