Jump!!

NaBloPoMo asks today…

What is the first thing that pops into your mind when you hear the word jump?

     The very first thing that pops in my head when I hear the word jump is the classic 1984 hit performed by Van Halen.  What can I say; I am a kid of the 1980’s.  Almost simultaneously I think about the fact that I would rather not jump, thank you very much.  You won’t catch this lady jumping out of any airplanes or off of any tall buildings anytime in the near future.  I like my limbs the way they are all in one piece and heights tend to scare the living be Je$us out of me in general.

  

       In fact, you won’t find me jumping period.  I am no longer 18 and in shape.   Jumping requires more exertion than I care to do at this point in my life. Jumping equals sweating, which equals gasping for breath, which inevitably results in feeling as if death may soon over take me.  Excuse me while I toss my cookies in the corner.  Whenever I get ambitious and decide to work out, you can bet I am groaning and doing the modified version whenever Bob Harper of the Biggest Loser decides that jumping jacks are the next thing on the agenda.  I know  if I attempt them, I will be dying after about 3. I absolutely hate jumping jacks.  They honestly should be outlawed. 


    

       Jumping is for ladies whose b00bs haven’t already started heading south, or those who have had implants whose b00bs don’t move at all.  That leaves me out .   Jumping is for the physically fit and ambitious, which also leaves me out.   I never could jump a rope to save my life, and you can bet your bottom dollar I won’t be jumping anytime in the near future until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

Uncertainty about Weight Loss

    


      The folks at NaBloPoMo want to know if there is anything I am uncertain about right now.  Can a person really be certain about anything?? Only G0d himself knows all the answers, I surely don’t.  I surely never try to assume I know much of anything.
    
    

          Lately I have decided I want and need to lose weight and even though I am walking 2-3 miles a day and working out along with my Biggest Loser Wii game, I worry I will never really lose any serious pounds.  I am uncertain if I can keep up the pace.  I am uncertain if the changes I have attempted to make to my diet will really have any effect.  Walking around the neighborhood with my kids is the easy part.  Sticking with it and working out with the Wii Game, or even with the DVD’s I checked out from the library is quite another.  I have yet to pop one of the DVD’s in the DVD player and make an attempt to keep up.

       That moment is coming though.  It is bigger than the both of us!!  I am uncertain if I will live through whatever kind of workout that DVD has got in store for me.  I am willing to try, and maybe that is half the battle.  The best and worst thing about an exercise video starring Bob Harper is that you know you are in for a royal beating.  The best and worst thing is I can hit the stop button before I vomit and collapse.  Sometimes I think it would be better to have Bob in the flesh screaming at me to keep going, even when I would rather quit.

   
      I am uncertain if anything I do will help me lose weight.  It certainly won’t if I give up.  Even if I feel better, or by some sick twist of fate somehow find a shred more energy that I didn’t have 15 minutes ago, then all that huffing and puffing, sweating, and sore muscles will be worth it.  Looking a little closer to perfect would be worth it.  


      

       All I am certain of today is that the sun is shining, I am trying foods I would have never contemplated putting even a foot near my mouth, let alone eat, and I am determined to exercise hell or high water!! The bottom line is I am tired of being fat!!   So if I have the guts to take a bull by the horns figuratively, surely I can whittle away a little tit, a little a$$, and this gut that between all three have taken on a life force of their own until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.