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Half Full

NaBloPoMo asks:

Is the proverbial glass half empty or half full?

     Even though there was once a time in my life when my glass was half empty, these days my glass is half full.  On some days it overflows with blessings.  It is all about a person’s outlook on life and their perception.  You can choose to see the bad and whine about your glass being half full, or you can choose to count your blessings and find the good in each day.


     When I was younger especially in the dark days following my mom’s death and my divorce I found my cup half full or bone dry.  I was depressed and could only focus on everything that was wrong with my life and what was lacking.  It is hard to look on the bright side when the world is crumbling around you.  You look at the optimists prancing about and wonder why they are so bloody happy and you are so miserable.  You believe deep in your soul that G0d has forgotten you, has no clue you exist, or simply doesn’t care.  You wonder what you have done to deserve this.  You turn your back on G0d in retaliation and things only get worse.

      One day I fell and hurt my back.  I spent months in horrible pain and as the days slipped by filled with visits to therapists and doctors and surgery loomed I realized I could do nothing about the outcome.  Only G0d could.  I didn’t ask for healing, I only asked He give me the strength to cope and carry on and find a way to do everything I had to do.  A miraculous thing occurred.  The week of surgery the pain vanished and the paralysis I had suffered in my leg ceased.  When the surgeon informed me that I no longer needed surgery and that it was a miracle, I realized not only that G0d did exist but He did care about me.

       From that moment on I believed.  I no longer felt alone against the world.  I began counting my blessings and being thankful daily.  I found the peace within myself that I never had before.   I found the strength to walk away from the people that seemed determined to see me miserable and walk into the future with G0d at my side.   I no longer worry about whether things will be alright.  I know they will be, and if they are not I know G0d will see me through making everything ultimately alright anyways.  

        A person only gets one go around on this merry go round of life.  Why be miserable?  Why continue to try with people that get their kicks kicking you?  Why let them continuously pi$$ in your glass?  It is better for everyone all around if you walk away without looking back.  A dear friend told me recently that they give people a chance to show them who they are, and when they do, they choose to believe them.  I was struck by the truth in their words and have carried them with me since.  People generally don’t change.  They are jealous when your cup is overflowing or even half full and they struggle and try everything in their power to bring you down and drain your cup.  People like that are not assets to your happiness and need to be weeded out otherwise they will suck the life from your cup.  It will be empty like theirs.  They might be happy, but you won’t.

       Through it all, I am happy and proud to say my cup is half full.  Some days it runs over, but very rarely is it half empty anymore until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

Learning to Be Thankful- BFF 134

    This Thanksgiving I am so thankful for the things I have in my life.  I choose not to agonize over the things I don’t.  It would be so easy to lose myself in the depths of despair over the fact that my parents are no longer alive to celebrate with or that money is in short supply.  I may not have all I want, but I have all I need.


      It seems life is never easy, but I get G0d’s purpose for life’s struggles.   He wants us to depend on Him for strength, be thankful to Him for all blessings no matter how small, and value the priceless things in life that can never be replaced.  Therefore I am thankful that unlike last year, my husband will be home for Thanksgiving.  I am thankful everyday for the companionship and devotion of my children who march through life at my side.  I am thankful that except for a cold, my family is healthy.  I am thankful for a car that runs, a roof over my head, and my dear sweet pets who snuggle against me to keep me warm at night. 

      I am thankful for the wonderful parents I was blessed to have, and even though they are no longer here I am thankful for the precious memories I have of them.   I am thankful that G0d blessed me with the ability to cook and magically create a delicious meal.  Even though it would be great to have the newest shiniest SUV to drive, I am thankful I don’t have the hefty payment that would go with it!  I am thankful for my blazer and the fact that is paid for.  I am thankful for the kind neighbors that have befriended me on both sides making me feel less alone.  I am thankful for dear friends, precious memories, and the promise of tomorrow with no mistakes.

      I am thankful for the outlet to express myself on this website and those precious folks that read my words, watch the music videos, and in doing so gaze directly into the depths of my soul.  I am thankful for the feedback I receive from my readers through their comments.  I am deeply thankful for all the friends it has brought my way.  Mostly I am thankful to have learned the valuable skill of taking life one day at a time, and learning to laugh, even through my tears.  Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

Recollections of First Thanksgivings - BFF 142

     Some of my earliest recollections from Thanksgivings past included not just one huge meal, but several.  Not only did my mother make a huge spread, but I also had three sets of Grandparents to share Thanksgiving with.   Usually, we would have a meal  at home that my mother prepared on Thanksgiving day.  Then we would travel to each of the grandparent’s homes Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.  Turkey, turkey, and even more turkey!!  By the end of it,  you came close to growing feathers and saying “Gobble, Gobble, Gobble!”


        Although I have memories of attending the Thanksgiving festivities of all three sets of Grandparents, my dad’s parent’s celebration always stood out.  For one thing, there were always a lot more people.  I had 5 sets of aunts and uncles at that gathering plus a slew of cousins, with second cousins coming along later on.  

         On holidays long tables were set up end to end down the center of the living room into the master bedroom with chairs lined up on both sides dominating Grandma‘s farmhouse.  Grandma sat on one end of the long table, and Grandpa on the other.   Behind Grandpa there was always another table set up in the master bedroom and all the cousins fought to get to sit alone in the bedroom in that special place of distinction. 
     
    

       The table was set with Grandma’s  best tablecloths, red and clear glass plates,  silverware, and water goblets.  When it was time, we would all gather around that massive table and joined hands much like the Who’s down in  Whoville singing “Count Your Blessings”.   Then Grandpa would lead us all in prayer.  Grandpa always mumbled when he prayed and he was so far away that usually I couldn’t make out what he was saying.  Somehow you would figure out when he was finished by the loud proclamation of “Amen!!  and then we would go single file, out the front door, through the garage, into the kitchen where all the wonderful food awaited.   Usually it was always colder than a witches tit in the Klondike outside, and by the time you got back into the house, the heat from the kitchen steamed up your glasses so you couldn’t see three inches in front of your face.

         Since I was the youngest, I was always finished eating before anyone else and antsy to get up and run around with my cousin.  The only problem with that is that with all the tables and chairs, you couldn’t squeeze a mouse fart out once you were seated.  We got around that too by having a merry ole time crawling under the network of tables to wherever we wanted to go.

     When everyone was finally finished eating, the women retreated into the kitchen to wash dishes and the men set to work taking down the tables.  In their place, a few card tables were erected and quite a few rousing games of Euchre and Yahtzee were played.  Sometimes Grandpa would dig out his home movies and the whole family would gather in the living room to watch.  Other times, everyone would just visit.






       It always amazed me that no matter how many grand kids there were, and there were a G0d’s plenty, Grandma and Grandpa would always give us hugs and kisses when we arrived and when it was time to go home.  They had so much love for each and every one of us and instilled in me the importance of family, thankfulness of blessings, G0d, and faith.

       Sadly those long lost Thanksgivings are only a memory as many of the key players have passed on from this life.  Their smiles and laughter will never be forgotten, and I can still hear the family singing “Count Your Blessings” in my mind.  I can only hope that I can instill the same sense of family, love, and tradition in my own children.  Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a truckers wife.

Living My Life in Full Color- BFF 120

     “Well color me happy, there is a sofa in here for two!!” When I saw the BFF challenge for this week, that was the first thing that came to mind. The whole concept of appreciating the little things in life with an exuberance of a little kid jumping up and down clapping my hands in glee ! There is nothing better than laughing till my belly aches and tears are flowing down my face until I am choking on myself! I love bouncing on balloons till they bust or mooning someone shamelessly and running away laughing myself silly in my wake! Laughter makes my life sparkle with color and is a very important ingredient to life.

      If it weren’t for my husband and children who I hold near and dear to my heart, even the reddest rose would seem as lackluster as a gray dingy gym sock that has visited the washing machine one to many times. The little things in life color my world with happiness! The best times happen when my husband is home. Most of the time, magic happens when we are together. This summer a typical weekend would be spent zooming around the neighborhood with my husband and kids on the golf cart, watching my family zooming around the yard on 4 wheelers squealing in delight, and spending time swimming in the pool. Those weekends were highlighted with barbecues where the whole family gathered around the grill together as whatever succulent meat happened to be on the menu sizzled to perfection. Our laughter rings through out the times we spend together. I can honestly say that there is nothing better than seeing that big purple semi truck backing into the driveway! The kids and I are always out by the road waving him in like a bunch of lunatics!

     Whether listening to hard rock, rousing country, or the soothing classics, music colors my life in every emotion from happiness to sadness. I can’t imagine my life without music. I have loaded all my favorite tunes onto my phone and love to let it play non stop in the back ground as I go about my days. Like my husband and children, without music my life would be drained of color. It seems everything goes a lot better with music. I write better, clean faster, concentrate more, and the best perk is my mood is elevated a million times over just with the pounding feel good beats of my favorite tunes blasting in the background.

     Since I have been young I have loved all the colors. I see favorites in G0d’s greatest creations: the flowers, the birds and butterflies that flutter through the sky, and the beauty of the bluest oceans waves crashing on lush beaches with the prettiest sunsets in the distance.

      Without the love of my husband and children, the best of G0d’s creations, my menagerie of pets,  and the music that drives the heartbeat of my life, everything in the world would be drab and grey and lifeless. There are so many blessings to be happy for! Home, health, family, pets, love, music, writing, gorgeous art, and nature! So color me happy!! I am so blessed to appreciate the people and things that make life worthwhile. I intend to keep living my life in full color!! Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.