Half Full

NaBloPoMo asks:

Is the proverbial glass half empty or half full?

     Even though there was once a time in my life when my glass was half empty, these days my glass is half full.  On some days it overflows with blessings.  It is all about a person’s outlook on life and their perception.  You can choose to see the bad and whine about your glass being half full, or you can choose to count your blessings and find the good in each day.


     When I was younger especially in the dark days following my mom’s death and my divorce I found my cup half full or bone dry.  I was depressed and could only focus on everything that was wrong with my life and what was lacking.  It is hard to look on the bright side when the world is crumbling around you.  You look at the optimists prancing about and wonder why they are so bloody happy and you are so miserable.  You believe deep in your soul that G0d has forgotten you, has no clue you exist, or simply doesn’t care.  You wonder what you have done to deserve this.  You turn your back on G0d in retaliation and things only get worse.

      One day I fell and hurt my back.  I spent months in horrible pain and as the days slipped by filled with visits to therapists and doctors and surgery loomed I realized I could do nothing about the outcome.  Only G0d could.  I didn’t ask for healing, I only asked He give me the strength to cope and carry on and find a way to do everything I had to do.  A miraculous thing occurred.  The week of surgery the pain vanished and the paralysis I had suffered in my leg ceased.  When the surgeon informed me that I no longer needed surgery and that it was a miracle, I realized not only that G0d did exist but He did care about me.

       From that moment on I believed.  I no longer felt alone against the world.  I began counting my blessings and being thankful daily.  I found the peace within myself that I never had before.   I found the strength to walk away from the people that seemed determined to see me miserable and walk into the future with G0d at my side.   I no longer worry about whether things will be alright.  I know they will be, and if they are not I know G0d will see me through making everything ultimately alright anyways.  

        A person only gets one go around on this merry go round of life.  Why be miserable?  Why continue to try with people that get their kicks kicking you?  Why let them continuously pi$$ in your glass?  It is better for everyone all around if you walk away without looking back.  A dear friend told me recently that they give people a chance to show them who they are, and when they do, they choose to believe them.  I was struck by the truth in their words and have carried them with me since.  People generally don’t change.  They are jealous when your cup is overflowing or even half full and they struggle and try everything in their power to bring you down and drain your cup.  People like that are not assets to your happiness and need to be weeded out otherwise they will suck the life from your cup.  It will be empty like theirs.  They might be happy, but you won’t.

       Through it all, I am happy and proud to say my cup is half full.  Some days it runs over, but very rarely is it half empty anymore until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.