I Will Follow

 
        I stood on the bridge at midnight as the clocks were striking the hour.  I looked out on the water below and the twinkling lights of the city reflecting there.  It was in those moments I thought about my life.  I thought about God and asked him for guidance.  My life has spiraled out of control since you took your own life a month ago.  How could you leave me?  How could you?  Tears trailed down my cheeks as I looked out on the harbor feeling utterly lost.

           I thought about the hundreds of cups and saucers I had painstakingly washed at the diner tonight and how I had stacked them neatly in preparation for another long day tomorrow.  I felt bone tired, weary, and heart broken.  All that awaited me at home were bills and the glaring eviction notice that had been delivered today.  Things just seemed to be going from bad to worse.  I thought about the dreams that had brought me to this city.  You know the ones, the ones that kept us awake long into the night giggling and making plans.  You and I were going to take Broadway by storm.  We would see our names in lights.  We were going to be stars.  We were going to live the glamorous life together. Everyone at home believed in us…their small town stars.  What a joke that turned out to be.  I simply can’t go home a failure and face all of them again seeing pity in their eyes, and seeing the “I told you so’s” in the eyes of the cynics.

       Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I could shine and touch the stars.  I could be a star after all.  I could soar like you did.  Like you, I could make headlines…go out with a big bang.  With my mind made up, I began to climb.  Balancing on the edge I felt the wind in my face, could see the stars calling me.  I could hear you in my heart urging me on.  We went together like peas and carrots, and we would again.  Holding my hands out at my sides, maintaining a precarious balance, I looked up to the stars and then reached.  I would fly.  I would touch the sky just as you had.  Without another thought, I moved forward and followed you again.  For the last time, I followed you.

Written for the Light and Shade Challenge

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