The Diary

  “Please read my diary, look through my things and figure me out.”  Kurt Cobain

Image by Dwayne Blee of www.freeimages.com

      Grace received her first diary years ago for Christmas from her Aunt Marge.  She had been twelve at the time and she had regarded the shiny red cover wondering what she would do with it.  She didn’t like to write.  Of course, she tried to act thrilled.  She didn’t want to hurt Aunt Marge’s feelings.  Her mother would have been livid if she had and there would have been hell to pay.  Not long after, Aunt Marge died in a tragic car accident.  She remembered the day in exact, glaring detail.  Snowy, treacherous roads and a bit of ice had sealed Aunt Marge’s destiny.  The accident set a series of events in motion that would change Grace’s life forever.  One by one her family left.  First her mother died, and then her dad. Finally, her little brother had fallen through the ice one fateful day while ice skating.  By the time she was 20, they were all gone leaving Grace alone to conquer the world.  

     She met Rob by accident.  A dear friend had set her up on a blind date.  The weirdest thing happened, though.  Her date couldn’t come.  Instead, he sent flowers with his apology.  Rob delivered the flowers and they connected immediately.  Compelled to see her again, he sent flowers to her and delivered them himself.  A whirlwind romance followed which culminated in a marriage proposal. Grace said yes before Rob even finished what he had to say.   Since Grace no longer had any family to speak of, she was eager to start a family of her own.  Just a little over a year later she welcomed a son who became her pride and joy.  A daughter soon followed, and soon it seemed her dreams of a family were complete. 

    The years passed.  Her son enlisted in the navy when war broke out, and at the tender age of 19, died in battle.  Grace's heart shattered into a million pieces.  Her grief palpable, she remained inconsolable.  Her diary filled to overflowing with tear stained prose.  

     Still her daughter remained.    Soon, Grace’s diary focused revolved around Elise and Rob's comings and goings.  Somewhere along the way, Grace ceased to exist.  Her life ceased to matter.  Her feelings were never discussed within the pages of her most recent diary.  In her mind, she was insignificant.  They were her whole world. 

After another joyous Christmas celebration, Rob suffered a fatal heart attack. One minute he was at her side, the next he was gone.  Grace wrote pages and pages in her diary as she coped.  She mourned her life partner, and once again the pages became smudged and tear stained.  Her daughter did all she could to see to Grace's needs, but then life stepped in once again.  Her daughter accepted a wonderful job thousands of miles away.  Grace mustered her strength, put a brave face on it, and saying goodbye, wished her well.

Years passed.  With each passing year, Grace withdrew a bit farther into herself.  She stopped associating with the outside world and became a modern day recluse.  Those she loved most in life had gone leaving her behind.  She longed to join them.  She longed to be free of her lonely life.  She played her music.  She created her art.  She survived, a prisoner of her dark thoughts and feelings of helplessness. She put on a brave, showed the world giggles and smiles because that is what she thought the world wanted to see.  She confided only in her diary.  She prayed that when her time was up, that whoever found her diaries would read them and understand. 

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Dinner and a Show

Photo prompt courtesy of  BAR

     Annaliese and Nick raced with their parents trailing behind to the monkey exhibit.  The animal encounter was scheduled to start in exactly 2 minutes.  A crowd had already gathered to watch and the young family jockeyed for the best position.

 

     Meanwhile, two zoo keepers clothed in regulation khaki shorts and forest green polo shirts moved amongst the monkeys distributing corn cobs.

“Gus, mind your manners!  People are watching!”

“Aw, mom! People are always watching, and I am starving!” Gus scrambled to capture a few loose kernels that had fallen from his mother’s cob.

“Gus, don’t you DARE eat off the ground in front of company.  Wait for another cob.  The people will give you one.  Be patient!”

“5 second rule. No time for patience!  Every monkey for himself!” Gus squealed as he lunged.

     His mother chose to ignore his antics, preferring to enjoy her dinner instead.    After all, she knew you only fought the battles you could actually win.   Gus licked the ground, enjoying every last kernel oblivious. 

     The crowd watched transfixed.  The monkeys ate, then raced to their perches, swinging on the ropes, scaling the tree, and providing the entertainment the crowds had ultimately come to see.  Cameras snapped, cell phones raised in salute, to capture the moment for later, to share in Snap Chat, Face Book, or Twitter to the less fortunate souls who couldn’t be at the zoo today.

      Annaliese and Nick clapped delighted, while their parents encouraged them to move on to the next exhibit with the rest of the crowd.  More animals to see, more ground to cover, and only the beginning of their day at the zoo.

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Unforgivable Sins

  

      I tried to forgive them.  I really did, but some things in life are simply unforgivable.  I loved Caleb, and my best friend Aubrey knew it.  She knew that Caleb was the best thing that had ever happened to me.  He lit up my world.  He was my first true love.

      When Caleb asked me to marry him that fall day at the depot, I said yes without batting an eye.  We celebrated by having mind blowing, earth shattering sex right there and toasting our happiness in the afterglow with a chilled bottle of wine. 

          Aubrey seemed more than willing to celebrate with me and help plan the wedding.  She was to be my maid of honor.  A week after Caleb’s proposal, Aubrey met Steve and it seemed that she had found happiness too.  Everything appeared perfect.  Caleb and Steve became best buddies and inseparable.  Soon the four of us seemed to always be together.  I don’t know at what point I started doing more of the wedding planning alone, but it happened.  It was such a busy time.  I was so blissfully happy and obviously blind.  The day of the rehearsal dinner all three of them disappeared.  No one had seen or heard from any of them since the night before.

      Naturally I went looking for them at the depot.  It is where we always hung out.  Caleb and Steve had been helping the owners renovate it so naturally I assumed they would be there.  I hadn’t planned on finding my future husband and Steve engaged in sex with my best friend nude and drunk as a skunk watching.  It was a rude awakening to discover that my soon to be husband was not only bi-sexual but perhaps preferred Steve to me.  It was the ultimate betrayal!

       Stunned and appalled, I was sickened by my discovery.  Anguished, I rushed to my car and drove.  I don’t even remember where I went or what I did exactly, but I do remember going back.    The events of that day are still surreal to me.    I was distraught and in shock, shocked even more to find Daddy’s gun in my purse later.  I simply cleaned it, and put it back where it belonged, no harm done.   The next day, I feigned surprise when not one of the merry threesome was at the church.  Coolly I donned sequins, lace, and an obnoxious amount of satin and waited expectantly for the organist to strike up the wedding march.

        I didn’t have to wait long.  They had been found.  The police arrived at the church and broke the news of the homicide scene they had discovered at the depot upon extinguishing the fiery inferno that had demolished the place.   The revelation put an abrupt halt to my impending wedding.   I produced the required shock, hysterics, and tears.  My dear father, the minister, asked the entire congregation to envelop me with love, prayers, and the goodness of the mighty Jesus as I cried my eyes out.    After all, I was the congregation’s darling.  They had watched me grow up, and in this one horse town, the church community protected their own in everything.    Forgiveness from all sin could be found with Jesus.  Everyone knew that. 

       Looking at an old photo of the depot years later, I reminisced.     I could have tried to forgive them, but forgiveness has never been my forte. I have often wondered which sin was greater, mine, theirs, are all those well-meaning folks who did everything in their power to look the other way and cover it up.   At any rate, vengeance was sweet.

Flying Monkeys

         Watching the “Wizard of Oz” with Jacob, I worried the flying monkeys would terrify him.  I braced myself.   

        “What is the airspeed velocity of a flying monkey?” 

          Shocked, I gaped at him as if he had sprouted horns and a tail.   Kids!!

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Gargleblaster: Progress

 

         Kara raced through the meadow chasing butterflies.  She spent hours picking wildflowers and creating imaginary games.  Life was so easy then.   Twenty years later she stared at the concrete jungle that replaced the fairyland of her childhood as a lone tear fell.

Note:  This 42 word fictional story was written for the Yeah Write Me #170 Summer Series Prompt "Where have all the flowers gone?".

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Speak Easy 169 : Over the Valley

      Jane didn’t have many friends.  That was okay.  She didn’t really need them.  She was busy enough with her imagination.  It was the only place she could escape her father’s grasp.  She would pretend she was a butterfly flitting from flower to flower without a care in the world instead of the damaged goods she really was.   Still when she met Phillip she hadn’t expected for them to be so much alike. She had been in the meadow behind her house in hot pursuit of a brilliantly blue butterfly when she had first seen him taking a piss on the big oak tree on the edge of the woods.  She had watched transfixed, losing sight of the butterfly in the process.  As far as boys went, he was classically handsome.  Still she had been a bit leery of him.  After all, he was not only a boy but a stranger.  Where had he come from?  She had lived here all her life and had never seen him.  She would have remembered.  Phillip was like no one she had ever seen before, as if he had been dropped here from somewhere else entirely.

      Their eyes had met when he had finished and the heat that instantly warmed her cheeks seemed to warm his as well.  Awkward!    The smirk that quickly followed his initial look of surprise was classic.  In embarrassment, she had run away and his hearty laughter had followed her.  As fate would have it, they met again the next day at school.  He was the new kid, and as soon as their eyes had locked instant recognition had caused her cheeks to grow hot once again in embarrassment.  She had played it cool and continued to draw butterflies on her notebook as he watched her from across the classroom.  When the bell rang, she made a beeline for the door only to have him pursue her and finally catch up outside her locker.

        “Did you like what you saw?” he asked boldly. 

         “You are sick, whatever.  Just leave me alone.” She had begged. 

       It was then he had slammed her locker shut and forced her to look at him.  At that point he hadn’t known the horrors she had endured at her father’s hands, although she believed it was as obvious as the nose on her face.  What she had seen in his deep brown eyes was the offer of friendship and even the recognition of understanding that he couldn’t possibly have had then.    Eventually she learned to trust him and believe he could be the knight in shining armor that would save her from the atrocities she faced nightly at home.  From that day on, they had been inseparable.  Rather than having to confess her secrets, he somehow seemed to instinctively know so she didn’t have to.  He was her friend, her savior, her partner in crime.  From that day forth, they were like two peas in a pod, their fates entwined as destiny ordained. 

      They met daily in the meadow.  They lay on the grass amid the wildflowers and watched the clouds chase lazily across the sky sometimes seeing tigers and other times bears.  They dreamed of escaping the personal hell that awaited each of them at home.   They consoled each other, and as the years passed shared the unthinkable truth and the shame neither of them could ever truly escape.

          The last day she saw him there, he was more tortured than she had ever seen him.  She understood his angst, had went through it herself, but she couldn’t have predicted the way events would finally play out.  He seemed especially agitated that day.  Finally the clouds and gentle warm breezes had lulled him.  He was quiet, brooding, seeming almost a million miles away.   She had blown off his mood, thinking it would pass.  The next day, she had found him there hanging dead from a tree, the evidence of his father’s most recent beating shadowing his skin in horrific detail.  Tears clouded her vision as she watched the police cut him down.   It was that day she chose to escape her private hell and run away.  If only this epiphany had come sooner.  They could have run away together, plucked up courage and sought help.  He would still be here with her.  It was the only thing she regretted, the possibility she could have saved him and in the process saved herself. 

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The Mermaid Elixir

 

   

       Charlie eyed all nurses suspiciously.  Everyone thought he talked crazy.   That is why his kids forced him into assisted living, to have him watched.   He’d escape to the beach nearby.  Like before, she would rejuvenate him: another modern medical miracle.  Goodbye cancer!

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Angel Yard

       I was cruising in my Camaro, radio blaring at top volume and enjoying life when the SUV crossed over into my lane.  In a split second I knew there was absolutely nowhere to go and no time to get there.   It happened so fast, an earth shattering crash…then a state of nothingness.  The music died with my pride and joy, now a twisted bit of metal surrounded by a million shards of glass, unrecognizable.  The SUV was gone having ricocheted against the cliff, broke through the guard rail, and plummeted over the side of the mountain. 

Photo by Lyssa Medana

        Up ahead I saw a sign posted on a brick wall I hadn’t noticed before.  Confused, I glanced around and back, hurried toward it, certain I could use a phone there to call for help.    An old guy was standing against the wall, waiting. 

“Sir, I was involved in the accident.  Do you have a phone I could use to call for help?”  He stood alone under a sign that read “Angel Yard”.

“Jon, you are past help.  Why bother to ask for help now?” he inquired peering deeply into my eyes.

Taken aback, I tried a different tack.  “I don’t believe we have met.  How do you know my name?”

     “I know everybody.”

  

     “Okay….”  I looked back at the wreckage and the realization hit me like a ton of bricks.  “Am I dead?”  I asked with a tinge of panic.

        He smiled at me.  “Depends how you look at it.  If you believe you belong here with your whole heart, chances are you do.  Otherwise, if you don’t believe then you belong in the other place and by all that is good and holy you will wish you were dead long before they are through with you.  Either way, you pay your money and you takes your choice.”

    “Money… now I am confused!”  I looked back at the wreckage.  I panicked again and things got real.  Other motorists had stopped to gawk.  The police had arrived, and an ambulance’s siren could be heard in the distance.  Transfixed, I watched an officer leaning into what was left of my Camaro.  He pronounced me dead.  Dead!  The word slammed around in my brain as I struggled to understand.  

       “The money you pay is the forgiveness you request for your sins, the belief you have that you will be forgiven and will be granted everlasting life regardless of all that has come before.  You have to feel remorse so your soul can be sanitized before you proceed.  Otherwise, the money you pay buys you a one way ticket to hell for eternity.  Normally the decision is made before folks get to this point, but often there are exceptions, people who have doubts.   Question is, do you believe or do you doubt?  It’s your choice. ”

      My mind quickly replayed my life, good and bad.    We exchanged smiles, because instantly he knew I did believe.  He nodded and I proceeded down Angel Road to my destiny.

Written for the Light and Shade Writing Challenge Monday Writing Prompt.

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It's Time!

 

      Panicked, she looked in my direction and gave me a slight nod.  Filled instantly with excitement and understanding, I quickly gathered my things and we left as the rest of the group continued to work, unfazed by our quick and quiet departure.  

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Daddy Knows Best

          He taught me how to read other people’s eyes.  It has been so useful throughout my life, especially once I perfected the gift.  I was able to discern who was lying and who exactly was being sincere.  Many times I saw things I didn’t want to see like the brutal honesty I would have happily chosen to ignore if only to enjoy mind boggling, curl your toes sex, just a bit longer.  He always knew what was best for me.  Looking through the windows of the soul straight to someone’s heart isn’t always a gift.  Oftentimes over the years it has proven to be a curse.  For example, it is like being able to read Jon so very well just by glimpsing his eyes and knowing he was only there for sex, no more, no less.  My feelings didn’t matter to him, only the earth shattering quickies.  He quickly forgot me and our daughter Megan as soon as Theresa crossed his path.  Obviously she was the real deal, and I simply wasn’t.  Not for him anyways.

             When my heart laid in shatters around me, your quiet strength and unconditional love took me in.   I fell into your arms as I always did and you, being you, comforted me and helped me to forget how much Jon mattered.  You always believed in me.  With no questions asked, you allowed me to move back home and bring Megan.  You became the father figure she desperately yearned for and reminded me what a wonderful Dad you had always been.  A lone tear drifted down my face as I quietly held your hand willing you to open your eyes so I could understand, make peace with my heart, and tell you to fight to stay.  Except for the solitary lamp lit by your bed, the room was dark.  Still I could see the Escher lithograph that had hung on your bedroom wall ever since I could remember.  I had always been fascinated by the building and the steps leading to it from somewhere far off in the imagination sight unseen.  I always imagined that perhaps those steps led to the heaven where Mama had resided since I was nine.

       Your breath caught, pulling my eyes to your face as your eyes fluttered opened.    Your normally brilliant blue eyes seemed abnormally big as you took me in.   You struggled to speak…but you had taught me well.  I saw the finality of goodbye in your eyes and the sadness that etched your features.

      “Always remember what I taught you Emma.  You will always find whatever you need to know within people’s eyes.  I know you can see the end in mine.  Don’t be sad for me.  Be strong.  Your mother is waiting and we will finally be together again.  Live your live passionately, my dear Emma.  Be happy.  Know that I love you, and we will be together again.”  The ghost of a smile crossed his features.  He gasped another shallow breath, and then all was still.  I gazed into the vacant vessel that had once housed one of the most precious souls that ever touched my life and knew.  He was gone, and I was now alone with the rest of my life before me. Wiping the flood of tears that fell unchecked, I thanked God for blessing me with this soul who had impacted my life so much and prayed for the strength to continue living without his guidance. 

              I knew what I needed to do now.  No one must ever know!  They could never suspect…ever.  I hurried down the hall to the bathroom where I quickly shaved my head, changed my clothes, and perfected my disguise.   School let out in approximately 15 minutes.  I had already laid the groundwork letting the school know that Megan’s long lost father would be picking her up from school this afternoon.  With my hair shaved, I could easily pass for a man.  I hurried out the back, dropping a match as I went.  The gasoline quickly did its job, engulfing the house into an inferno of flames.  I slipped out the back gate and hurried up the sidewalk two blocks where a car awaited.  I hurried into the back seat, nodded to the driver, and the black BMW sped off to pick up Megan.     I vowed to look forward  to our new life in France. It is long past time to make dreams into reality. Daddy always did know best.

       This story was written for the Speak Easy writing prompt where we were to start our story with "He taught me how to read other people's eyes." and to make a reference to the picture that I have shared with the post.  The story was to be 750 words or fewer.  My story is 743 words.  The story was adjusted from the original  June 19, 2014 in the effort to clear up any confusion about the fate of Megan that several readers had.  I hope you enjoy my story.


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Feeling Good

       The race had been tight since the primaries.  We had been all over the country.  I had made speeches, shook more hands than I could even count, and kissed so many babies their faces all blurred into one.  It was a dream I had pursued since I was a kid running in school elections.  All I ever wanted was to hold public office and make a difference in the world.  I wanted to help people.  I wanted to be remembered.  Then I had met Vivian.

         

       Vivian captivated me like no other woman could.  The only problem was that Vivian was from the wrong side of the tracks and not “First Lady” material.  Still, I lusted after her and chased her like a dog in heat.  I never figured the press would find out, but I realized the hard way that the press always finds out everything eventually.  No matter what, they always find out.  I thought I was immune.   I had gone to all the right schools, crawled my way to the top of the political ladder all the way to this run to the white house.    I had my good name, plenty of money, and the prerequisite perfect political wife, two kids, and family dog.  For all intents and purposes, I was a shoe in.

      Still my dark side was always there waiting to be discovered.  Vivian introduced me to cocaine and I was hooked.  I loved the rush it gave and the feeling of power I had been chasing my whole life.  It emboldened me to try new things…things I should have never thought of.  Vivian was a first rate call girl and honestly with her I experienced the best sex I ever had in my life.  That woman knew how to blow my mind.  There were times that I thought maybe it was the drugs that made Vivian so exciting, and then I realized I couldn’t live without either.  I got Vivian her own place and car, everything her heart desired.

         Now on the eve of the biggest election of my life for the top spot in the land the press had found out all about Vivian and the drugs.  I was ruined.  My life started to unravel quickly after that.  Feeling good didn’t seem to matter anymore.  My campaign manager rushed to do what damage control he could.  Unfortunately, the damage had been done.  No one wanted a cocaine addict as their leader and a prostitute as their First Lady.  No one was impressed with the perfect persona I had been selling once they learned the truth.  It didn’t matter how much the voters had loved my ideas, how great a speech maker I was, or what a sterling track record I had in public office previously.    Once the truth was out, there was nothing any of my campaign team could do to turn things back to our favor.  We gave it everything we had, but it wasn’t enough.  I lost the election.  I lost my perfect family and dog.  I lost my credibility.  In the end, I lost my dream.  All I was left with was Vivian and a stint in prison for possession.

      Still determined to have it all in the end, I had a sex change, found religion and thanks to millions spent in plastic surgery became Vivian.   I changed my clothes, my hair and face and am now the hottest thing in Hollywood.   I am feeling good, that is, until the press finds out.

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Guilty

      Sweat beaded up on my brow. My heart raced. She couldn’t have seen.    She was only five years old.  I had nothing to worry about! Her testimony would convict me. I did kill him.  He deserved it. Surely they wouldn’t believe her!  

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