Anyone who owns a cell phone understands well about the voids and black holes of coverage. Although most people with cell phones who hardly ever travel will rarely be bothered by the nuisance of the void, truck drivers who crisscross the countryside on a daily basis in the quest of getting from A to B on time pass through the void often. Being the wife of a trucker, I am also affected.
When I last spoke to my husband to tell him I was calling it a night and heading to bed he warned me that he would be disappearing into the void today. That means that I will play hell getting a hold of him. I appreciate when he warns me of this fact because otherwise I would worry if I tried nonstop to reach him and couldn’t.
Communication between truck drivers and their families has come a long way since I was a little girl. When I was growing up there were no cell phones. My Dad entered the void as soon as he pulled out of the driveway. If there was an emergency and my Mom needed to reach my Dad she had to contact the state police and have him tracked down, pulled over, and informed to call home. In other words, as soon as he left she was on her own. Any problems that arose she had to deal with herself. My Dad would call home every Wednesday and Sunday night like clock work. As a kid I remembered how hard it was to find things to say to my Dad on these occasions. He would be gone 2-6 weeks at a time. When he was home he was always busy working on his truck. I got used to him being gone and because of that I became extremely close to my mom and shy around my Dad. As much as I loved my Dad, I don’t really feel I got to know the man he was until he took an early retirement and was around all the time. That is when I discovered what a cool, funny guy he was. It was then that I truly began to appreciate him and the sacrifices he made to give his family a good life.
With the invention ofcell phonescommunication between truck drivers and their families opened up considerably. My kids don’t see their Dad any more than I seen mine, but they do talk to him daily. Because of cell phones he is able to still be part of their daily lives. He hears about their successes and consoles them on their bad days. Thanks to the camera and video capabilities he was able to see my daughter dance during the parent observation sessions of her class. He is able to see how my son looks in his new haircut, or even the award he received for integrity almost immediately. If anything is going to go wrong it usually manages to do it while he is on the road. I still have to deal with whatever comes to the best of my ability ultimately alone. The only difference is that with cell phones his input and advice is only a phone call away. Having him in my ear is better than not having him at all. It has always given me great satisfaction to know I handled a situation on my own, even if he was giving me his two cents in the process.
No, cell phones will never replace being home with us, but they do shed light on the void. He is still present in our daily lives, except for when he enters a void of non coverage and then we only need wait until he reaches the other side to communicate until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
When you are a trucker’s wife you learn to live with the fact that your husband will be absent for most holidays and special occasions. At most trucking companies the only holiday you can bet money that your husband will definitely be spending at home is Christmas. When my husband left home after a week’s reprieve with me and the kids, I didn’t plan on seeing the whites of his baby blue eyes until the first week of March. The kids and I were resigned to another Valentine’s Day spent apart. He had bought me a chocolate rose and my favorite conversation hearts before he left, so it was all good. Our valentines for him would have to wait till he ever came back home.
It was Valentines Day night. The kids and I had eaten dinner and were settled on the couch watching “The Biggest Loser” on television. If it is Tuesday, you can pretty well bet money that is where you will find me. I can’t miss that or “Parenthood”. It is the only night I am religious about watching TV. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t miss “The Voice” on Monday night either if I can help it. The rest of the nights I pretty much do my own thing: read, write, clean, or play games with the kids. It didn’t really surprise me when my phone rang during the “Biggest Loser” and the caller ID announced my husband was on the phone. He often calls this time of night to check in, talk with kids about how their day went at school, and to see if I am doing alright.
He surprised me and told me he needed Mapquestand wanted me to look up how many hours away from home he was. I typed in destination A to B and was shocked to realize he was only a little over an hour away!! I thought he was out east somewhere!!! I certainly didn‘t think he was anywhere near home! “Move the pickup truck over, I am coming home!!” Sphincter says what? The dinner dishes weren’t done, the kids stuff was littered all over the living room, and he was coming home??? Usually I have plenty of warning before he comes home, but at practically bedtime I was in no frame of mind to do a thorough cleaning shakedown on the entire house. At this late stage in the day, Mr. Neat and Tidy would just have to live with how the house looked because even if I had the energy to pull myself off the couch, the desire to clean was not there. Let the chips fall where they may! He isn’t company after all, he lives here too!
At almost 11 PM he backed his semi into the driveway. He came to the door with a big grin proclaiming “Surprise, Happy Valentines Day!” It was a BIG surprise, and despite the fact I had to fix him something to eat at almost midnight, I felt blessed that we could be together for Valentine’s Day. He got to see all the kids Valentines they had received from their friends at their class parties. He got to see their school work. Not only did he get a full tummy and a hot shower, he also got the roll in the hay he was looking for. Every now and then one of life’s little surprises comes along and happens to not be bad news for a change. It doesn't happen often, but when it does you realize how good life can be until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
The day had started much like any other. My daughter was sitting in her high chair eating cheerios while she watched Sesame Street. My cell phone rang. I smiled as I noticed my husband’s name in the caller ID. That in itself was odd. I thought he would be delivering his load this morning and wondered why he would be calling me at that hour. I answered bracing myself for a long tirade of complaints about how many trucks were ahead of him, how long he might have to wait, and how slow they were.
Even though the caller ID said it was my husband, the voice that greeted me was unfamiliar. I was confused. Who was this?? How did they get my husband’s phone? In an instant terror filled my heart as the voice explained he was with the state police and there had been an accident. My husband was going to be OK, but he had been transported by ambulance to the local hospital. My mind shut down. How could this be happening?? My husband should be at his destination delivering his load!
According to the officer, he never made it. He had been traveling down a two lane road early that morning. The air was thick with early morning fog. All of a sudden he came upon a slow moving pickup truck with utility trailer traveling ahead of him with no lights on. With oncoming traffic, there was no where for my husband’s semi truck and trailer to go. None of the options were pretty. The first choice to continue and ram the pickup truck and trailer from behind was unthinkable. The second choice to veer around to the left and hit the oncoming car head on wasn’t an option either. He did all he could do. He sacrificed himself and took the ditch. The truck flew off the road, lost control, and rolled finally coming to a stop.
I asked directions to the hospital which happened to be over 3 hours away from home. By the time I hung up, I was beside myself. I did the only thing I could think to do. Crying, I called my Dad. I had to get to my husband! I had to get to that hospital! Within the hour my daughter was strapped into her car seat and we were on our way. Tension hung in the car. While in route my cell phone rang again. This time it was my husband. He was at the hospital and reassured me that although he was banged up, shook up, and sore he was essentially OK. I had never been more relieved to hear his voice.
Hours later we left the hospital and took my husband back to the scene of the accident to retrieve his personal items from the cab of the truck. I was horrified to find the twisted wreckage we discovered and was thankful that my husband had been able to walk away. Being a trucker’s wife, you always live in fear of getting a phone call like that. I come from a family where many of the men have driven truck. When I was about 3 years old my uncle was killed in his semi truck and that day the family lost a husband, a brother, an uncle, a son, and a friend. I can’t imagine getting a call and being told that my husband had been killed. Accidents can happen in the blink of an eye. They are unexpected, terrifying, and often lethal.
For those that choose to become an over the road driver it is always a possibility. For the family that is left at home it is a reality that one prays will never come to pass. It was hard to watch my husband go back to work after the accident. Still, away he went. Ever since thataccident I will always have a gnawing fear in my gut that he may not return. All one can do is put him in G0d’s hands, let him go, and hope for the best until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
I have been the wife of an over the road truck driver most of my married life. I can honestly say even all these years later, his homecomings are still a time of celebrationand jubilation. You would think we would be used to his absences by now. In a sense we are. I know it is his job. The kids accept the fact that Daddy is on the road so the bills can get paid. We all accept that he absolutely loves what he does or he would do something else. Unfortunately his job requires being gone most of the time. You can’t make money staying at home. Even though his absence is a fact of life, I still miss him. I miss having him around. The kids miss their Daddy.
So when that shiny semi truck finally backs into the driveway we are overcome with our jubilation. The kids and I rush out onto the lawn in eager anticipation to watch him turn down our road. We jump up and down and wave. As soon as that truck is parked, the door is flung open and we are there to greet him with hugs and kisses.
Even the dogs celebrate to the point I have to hook them up outside or put them in the garage so my husband can even get into the house. As soon as the garage door is opened it is like igniting an explosion of dogs. They rush in barking and jumping. Their tails practically wag off, and they jump on my husband licking him. I make sure a tall glass of iced tea is always waiting. As soon as my husband has taken up his place in the recliner, all three dogs struggle to find a place on his lap. They simply can not contain themselves!! The kids’ take turns showing Daddy all the school work they have done while he was away and catching him up on what was built with LEGOS or what pictures were colored in their color books. It is almost as if we rush to tell him and show him everything he has missed in the first half hour for fear if we don’t he will vanish again.
Usually he is only gone 2-3 weeks and then we are granted a reprieve and he comes home. The last time I saw the whites of his blue eyes was after Thanksgiving. I won’t see him again until when he comes home for Christmas. By then my little family will have more to celebrate than Christmas. By then, we will be primed for a full blown celebration because my husband will finally be home!! The time will speed by, and before we know it he will be gone again. Until then though, we will celebrate. We will enjoy his presence, and we will count our blessings! Blessings always seem more abundant when he is safely at home. I am so thankful that his company ensures that all drivers go home for Christmas!! That is all I have to say until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
