Thursday, June 28, 2012

I Dreamed that I …BFF 202





    I dreamed that I was young again living in Nashville, Tennessee in the basement of the dorm at Belmont University.  I woke to discover not only that my roommate had left to parts unknown but that the whole place seemed to be deserted except for me.  The silence was deafening.




     With panic rising I hurriedly bolted from my bed and went looking for someone, anyone.  I didn’t bother to dress.  I simply left in my night gown and bare feet.  Every door stood open with each room equally deserted.  Where is everyone?  Why didn’t they wake me and take me with them?  I felt an urgency to find someone and discover where they had gone.  I bolted up the stairs two at a time and burst into the lobby which also was equally deserted.  It was odd.  Even more strange was that every clock I passed including my watch had stopped at precisely 12:00.  None of them appeared to be in working order.  It was if everyone had vanished and time stood still from that moment on.

     As fear continued to grip my heart I rushed out onto campus feeling sure I would discover someone there.  The grounds were also eerily silent except for the pounding of my heart.  There were no sounds, no sign of life, and no movement anywhere.  I rushed across campus toward the mansion that is the centerpiece of the grounds.  Even it looked eerily deserted.  It didn’t make sense.  As I approached, I saw movement in an upstairs window.  A ghostly face peered out behind the curtain and then just as quickly was gone.




      I raced to the front door certain that the person I seen would know where everyone was and would know why I was alone.  I desperately needed the answers that would calm my sense of panic.  The front door was locked tight.  I beat on the door with both fists in vain.  No one came to the door.  Frustrated, tears swam in my eyes.  “Where is everyone!!?  G0d help me! “I screamed in frustration.  Maybe I had only imagined I seen someone.  Perhaps Adelicia Acklen Cheatham’s ghost was making her rounds.  That thought didn’t exactly make me feel all warm and cozy inside.  I gazed up at the window again.  The face was gone. There was no sign of life there either.  My mind was simply playing tricks on me. 


          Sweat poured off my brow.  I was hot and winded from running.  I didn’t understand what was happening.  I decided to turn around and return to the dorm with hopes that someone would be there by now.  I climbed the hill.  My breath was labored and I was instantly exhausted from my merry chase and my fear.  Maybe there would be someone to be found in the other girl’s dorm.  There had to be someone.  Certainly a campus that is normally swarming with people wouldn’t be deserted as if evacuated for a natural disaster.  


       Unlike my dorm, the other girl’s residence hall has an elevator.  Being hot and tired, I had no intention of running up or down any more stairs and chose to take full advantage of it.  With purpose I marched up to the elevator and pressed the up button and patiently waited.  The elevator arrived and I stepped inside.  As the doors slid closed I pressed a random floor and waited watching the numbers light up in slow succession as it made its ascent.  Suddenly everything went black and the elevator plummeted.  Falling to the floor, I scream in terror, and woke screaming and sitting bolt upright in bed sweating profusely, panting, and suddenly wide awake.  It was a dream, only a silly dream.  It was simply a silly dream that seemed so incredibly real that it left me gasping for breath, dripping with sweat, and trembling.  


       I have never understood what that dream meant.  I have dreamt it several times over the years since I left Belmont University.  Although I am usually alone, there have been other similar dreams when I have been accompanied by my kids and even my husband, which is even more incredible since they have never even been there.  Sometimes I have dreamed that although I have found others I wasn’t able to communicate with them.  It was as if I was invisible or didn’t exist in their reality.  They couldn’t hear or see me.    I rarely dream, but when I do it is always some bizarre twisted tale which makes absolutely no sense.  Although my parent’s visits in my dreams are rare, I find when they do grace my dreams with their presence I fight waking up because I am desperate to remain with them as long as I can.   Since most of my dreams leave me wondering why, or scaring the be Je$us out of me I am just as happy to simply sleep dreamless until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
       

16 comments:

  1. First off, I wish you still lived in Nashville. I'd hop in my car to meet you and then friend you on FB. I tried to meet Langley in Charleston, but unfortunately it didn't work.

    About the dream, didn't you drop out of college to marry your first husband... or was that someone else? If that was you, you have a strong desire to finish college and better your life. When you go back to college in your dream, you can't get in touch with anyone there, so ie, your dream has slipped away from you and you want it back. Your family sometimes comes with you to college because your going back to school would involve them too. Do you have hidden regrets for not getting that degree? I don't think the dream will go away until you go back to school and satisfy your unfulfilled desire.

    Just my guess.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

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    1. Joyce, I dropped out of college to go home basically. Then I got a job, got married, and went back to school. When my mom died I dropped out again. Maybe you are right. I think you may be right. I will always wonder what might have been. I remember going for several graphic design job interviews and every single one of them giving me some story that I had to much potential to be stuck in an entry level position. I couldn't get a job doing it which was another thing that really turned me off to doing art for a living. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments!

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  2. As you know I'm a dreamer. I'm with Joyce on this one--it has something to do with your desire to finish what you started. Sometimes we believe our dreams change and yet somewhere deep down the one dream we lost sight of is begging to be reawakened. I hope you somehow find a way to fill that desire to finish what you started--however you can make that happen. Maybe something as simple as doing art again would help satisfy that desire.

    One of my bizarre reoccuring dreams involves a large rat attacking me while I'm strapped into a seat on a Ferris wheel ride. Needless to say, the day Disney World puts in a Ferris Wheel...I'm never going back!! LOL!!

    Cheers, Jenn

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    1. Jenn, your dream is a little terrifying!! You may be right. I may find that I am completely fulfilled if I just decided to draw or paint again. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments.

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  3. Joyce and Jenn probably nailed it on the spot and maybe there is this need to go back and finish what you started. On the other hand.....maybe it's an affirmation that there was nothing for you there in the first place. And your family going back with you is the proof that you have them now because of the direction your life took with your leaving school. One take or another will probalby hit you stronger than the other, or maybe it's just a flip of the coin to figure this one out.

    I also draem of my parents though too and find myself trying to linger there as well. If you ever find the trick for making it happen, please share!

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    1. Amy, now I like that angle! Even though maybe deep down I want to finish what I started, I know that there really is no hope of it ever happening because I have my family now. That is probably more like it. I wish I could force myself to dream of my folks. Anymore dreams of them are rare. Like you I never want to wake up when they are in my dreams. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments!

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    2. Me too. I dreamt about my dad the other night, and it was wonderful!

      http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

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    3. Joyce, I envy you. I haven't dreamed about either of my parents in a very long time. I really miss them. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments!

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  4. Creepy and ROFL :) Nicely written. I hope u will enjoy my experience as well

    http://all-amit-thinks.blogspot.in/2011/05/last-minute.html

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    1. Amit, I am so pleased you enjoyed what I wrote and at least got the creepy feel and a hint of terror that I was going for. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments!

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  5. Gosh, I hate dreams that make me wake like that. I have a recurring one for about 20 years that "something" happens (not sure what) and my head gets smashed open. I wake up gasping for air. Very weird. I do like dreams where I dream of my late hubby or brother. I never want to get out of bed, just want to linger.

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    1. Winnie, that is scary. It makes you wonder why you keep dreaming that! I love the dreams where people who have died visit me in my dreams. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments!

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  6. That was a scary/creepy dream for sure. I have had a lot of plunging or broken elevator dreams and those scare me so bad. I also don't like the 'tooth falling out' dreams either.

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    1. JoJo, I don't think I have ever had one about where my teeth have fell out. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments.

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  7. The fact that you dropped out twice may be indicative of an unvoiced fear that you cannot do what you want to do even with a degree. In the dream you felt deserted and wanted other people. You have them now, but you can still finish what you started. Get the degree.

    Your world dropped from under you as you were trying to ascend in your dream. Fear plus longing drives this dream. You may say you have confidence, but I think somewhere you are wary of what you would have had to accomplish if you got the degree.

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    1. Pratical Parsimony, if you want to get really technical I dropped out 3 times. The third time I went back I lasted only one semester. I was trying to work full time, go to school 4 nights a week, and it was just too much. I think you are right. Fear of failure is the underlying key. I know I can do well in school but I don't have the money to go back. Not only that now I have kids and no one to watch them. I am afraid that even with the degree I would never get a job doing it, and then the whole thing would be a waste of time and money. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments.♥

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