Starting New Projects

NaBloPoMo asks

"How do you feel about starting new projects?"

     There is a certain glimmer of anticipation and excitement when you start something new.  Maybe even a small shred of fear.  To me the unknown is always daunting.  I will worry myself so much that I will end up with diarrhea or pea green around the gills clutching the edge of a porcelain toilet bowl for all it is worth.  A new job, a new class, new people, a new schedule can all be terrifying as hell.  Questions bombard my brain.  Will they like me?  Will I find my way?  Will I do well?  Can I handle it?  Once I have tried whatever is new, I am fine.  I quickly adapt, but I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t hyperventilate and get a healthy case of the $hits first.

      At least now that I am older I can put on the cool mask of confidence no matter how much I am literally freaking out inside.  That was not the case when I was younger.  My terror was for all to see.  Coupled with the tendency to worry what others thought of me, I used to work myself into a real tailspin.  I have been really lucky in life that these days I have few reasons to get worked up about.  Life rolls along.  I still hyperventilate about certain things but not to the extreme that I did when I was younger.  I think that is because I really don’t have a choice now.  I have to handle it.  If I don’t there is no one else that will.  Like the time I woke up and found the hallway flooded with water.  Did I panic?  Hell yes I did.  It turns out the hot water heater had sprung a leak and blew a gusher.  I quickly assessed the situation and rushed to put every towel I owned down on the carpet in an effort to sop up the wet.  I called someone who specializes in replacing hot water heaters to price such things and went with the lowest quote.  Life went on only after I hyperventilated and blew a gasket first.

       At this point, I am pretty used to writing and whipping out a blog when needed.  When I first started writing I wasn’t sure I could do it.  I was afraid the company that had contracted me to write for them wouldn’t like what I wrote.  I wrote and revised certain that I was no writer and completely unsure I could even write well enough.  I handled it, and they loved it, and I got paid.  The crisis passed and eventually I finally got a shred of confidence in my ability to write.  Something weird happened along the way.  Not only did I realize that I like to write, I finally let all the favorable comments I had been getting sink into my thick skull and realized I do a fair job at it.

       Sometimes it is just plain scary to have the balls to go out and grab the brass ring and try something new.  If you don’t shoot a little excitement into life every now and again though, life wouldn’t be near as interesting.  Sometimes you just have to take the plunge and sign on for a new project.  Am I the type of person to rush to the front of the line and try something new? No, I will stand back and watch everyone else, and then when I am sure that I won’t make to much of a complete a$$ of myself I will give whatever it is the ole college try rushing ahead with determination like a bull with a hard on.  What can I say?  I like the same ole, same ole better than mixing up the works until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.