There is one thing that has plagued me all week as I geared up to write this particular challenge. I have thought about it and had an epiphany of sorts. When I was growing up all I ever dreamed of being was an artist. I drew and painted constantly. As I got older and more and more art courses became available for me to take, I took them and learned, perfecting my skill. I worked all through senior year on an advanced placement portfolio which in the end would have helped me skip several first year college courses. I graduated high school and what did I do?? I marched off to Belmont University to pursue a Music Business degree.
Looking back on it, I wonder WHY I would have done such a thing. Then the answer was obvious. My mom would have thought it was cool. Hell even I thought rubbing elbows with the stars of the music industry would be exciting. Away I went, after spending all that time and energy on my art. The only problem was that obviously my heart wasn’t in it because I dropped out, packed up shop, and moved back home. It is pretty alarming to realize at this late stage in the game that my head was firmly planted up my a$$ even back then which means I was probably born with my head up my a$$ and will die with it there. Oh it might peek out for air every now and again, but it is firmly lodged there regardless.
I have thought all week if only I had stayed!! I should have stayed!! Why didn’t I just stay?? I could have gotten my degree!! Then this week a realization hit me like a ton of bricks. Considering that I eventually went back to school for graphic design and almost completed an associate’s degree, what might have happened if I had majored in art in the first place? I probably would have stuck at it. I probably would be acollege graduate today. If I could have only got my education over with in one full swoop, my life would have been a whole lot different. If I had my life to live over I would have majored in art the first time around and stuck at it. I would have got my education over with BEFORE I figured out what it was like to earn a pay check and work a 40 hour week.
Life stepped in as it is prone to do. Doing such a thing would have altered my life substantially. I still would have married my husband and had my two kids. I wouldn’t trade them for the world, but by staying in college after high school I would have bypassed ever meeting that first a$$hole I married and saved myself a world of grief. If I had that brain fart to do over, I would have said “NO” and ran away. If I had done that just imagine where my art might have taken me! If I had stayed in school, I would have graduated and been involved with my career when my mom got sick and died. Most likely if things had played out in that way I wouldn’t have been there for her. As hard as it was to take care of her at times, as hard as it was to find her dead that morning, I wouldn’t change it. I will always be grateful I had that time with her. I wanted to be there for her and I am glad I was. She never let me down, and I never did her either. I have no regrets about being there for my Dad either. Same scenario, I wouldn’t change a thing. Maybe if I had some big successful career I wouldn’t been.
I learned the hard way, and perhaps that was important. I can pass on first hand wisdom to my kids if they care to listen and I can go on from here. Life is good, and it isn’t over until I draw my last breath but ultimately there are some people in life worth sacrificing dreams for. I wouldn’t trade one golden minute I shared with either my kids or my parents for a career in art. Ultimately, I am where I need to be in life. If fate brings an opportunity to pursue my art again, so be it. Picking up a sketchbook or a box of paints sounds very appealing to me all of a sudden. Who knows what the future will hold? G0d gave me this gift for some reason. Eventually I am sure He will share with the class WHY. I can’t go back, but I can go forward which is what I intend to do. In the end, it is still going to be a good life no matter which wrong turns I take. In the end I will end up in the same place until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
There's nothing to say you can't pick it up again. Lots of people go back to school and take classes when they're in their 40s and 50s. I think you should go for it. I started in radio when I was 13 and thought Mass Communications was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. My degree is in TV Production and I worked at a TV station for 3 years after college graduation before crashing and burning. I spent the next 20+ years as a paralegal, and now I don't have any idea what I wanna do with the rest of my life! lol
JoJo, I suppose you are right. At this time I am too busy writing and keeping up with my kids. I bet you have some great stories to tell! Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments! ♥
You ARE an artist! Just look at the selection of images, the fonts, all this and more... word art.... Your head is not up your a$$. Take it back. Right NOW young lady! (Where did that come from.... Twilight Zone theme plays....) Really and truly it never is too late! Our path is our path and it is all good. Be nice to yourself and go do something else artistic. :-)
Nancy, thank you for your kind comments!! :D It would be cool to get paid for doing it. As it is, it is fun. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments. ♥
You know, it's not too late to go back to college. A lot of people pursue degrees at a later stage of life. Plus, you don't have to do it all at once. A course here, another course there. You can search the internet for scholarships. There is a lot of money out there, you just have to find it. Good luck to you.
Joyce, I will see my kids fulfill their dreams. In the meantime I may get back into it again a little at a time. Right now I keep pretty busy. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments. ♥
I would love to see your sketches. I always wished I had the talent! I firmly believe that one is only late when one is dead and gone. Otherwise there is always time to do what you know you should do.
I agree in that if the degree is that important it is not too late. If, however, you aren't compelled to get it, it WILL find a way into your life. It's like breathing. You just have to do it.
I didn't comment (so sorry...distracted by kids) but saw an earlier post this week of your which featured your art from...high school was it?? Oh my! Impressive!!
Amy, yes that was some of my high school work. I have a whole portfolio full of stuff from college. Some of it my sister put in my mom and dad's estate sale without asking me if I wanted it back. I did, but it was too late. Someone had already bought it!! LOLOLOL That stuff was from my first couple classes in college on design. Oh well. Thank you for stopping by to read this post and the one before and for your kind comments on both. ♥
that's a hard one, kathy.. regretting not earning a college degree... well, as anyone would tell you, it's never too late... my dad, when he was in his 70's started taking piano lessons - a regret that he remedied... :)
Danneromero, the problem would be half desire and half lack of funds. :P One of these days I will get back to it. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments. ♥
I fail to see the necessity of a degree necessarily, but the love of art you can use anytime. When you have finished a half dozen or so works, show them to some small businesses in your area and ask if they would like to sell them on consignment. Whata ya gotta lose, eh? Once an artist, always an artist. ♥
Jo, I probably have nothing to lose and only rejection and a possible sale to gain. :D Thank you for the vote of confidence Jo! Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments. ♥
There's nothing to say you can't pick it up again. Lots of people go back to school and take classes when they're in their 40s and 50s. I think you should go for it. I started in radio when I was 13 and thought Mass Communications was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. My degree is in TV Production and I worked at a TV station for 3 years after college graduation before crashing and burning. I spent the next 20+ years as a paralegal, and now I don't have any idea what I wanna do with the rest of my life! lol
ReplyDeleteJoJo, I suppose you are right. At this time I am too busy writing and keeping up with my kids. I bet you have some great stories to tell! Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments! ♥
DeleteYou ARE an artist! Just look at the selection of images, the fonts, all this and more... word art.... Your head is not up your a$$. Take it back. Right NOW young lady! (Where did that come from.... Twilight Zone theme plays....) Really and truly it never is too late! Our path is our path and it is all good. Be nice to yourself and go do something else artistic. :-)
ReplyDeleteNancy, thank you for your kind comments!! :D It would be cool to get paid for doing it. As it is, it is fun. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments. ♥
DeleteYou know, it's not too late to go back to college. A lot of people pursue degrees at a later stage of life. Plus, you don't have to do it all at once. A course here, another course there. You can search the internet for scholarships. There is a lot of money out there, you just have to find it. Good luck to you.
ReplyDeletehttp://joycelansky.blogspot.com
Joyce, I will see my kids fulfill their dreams. In the meantime I may get back into it again a little at a time. Right now I keep pretty busy. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments. ♥
DeleteI would love to see your sketches. I always wished I had the talent! I firmly believe that one is only late when one is dead and gone. Otherwise there is always time to do what you know you should do.
ReplyDeletePhoenixritu, sometime I will have to share some of them. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments! ♥
DeleteI agree in that if the degree is that important it is not too late. If, however, you aren't compelled to get it, it WILL find a way into your life. It's like breathing. You just have to do it.
ReplyDeleteI didn't comment (so sorry...distracted by kids) but saw an earlier post this week of your which featured your art from...high school was it?? Oh my! Impressive!!
Amy, yes that was some of my high school work. I have a whole portfolio full of stuff from college. Some of it my sister put in my mom and dad's estate sale without asking me if I wanted it back. I did, but it was too late. Someone had already bought it!! LOLOLOL That stuff was from my first couple classes in college on design. Oh well. Thank you for stopping by to read this post and the one before and for your kind comments on both. ♥
Deletethat's a hard one, kathy.. regretting not earning a college degree... well, as anyone would tell you, it's never too late... my dad, when he was in his 70's started taking piano lessons - a regret that he remedied... :)
ReplyDeleteDanneromero, the problem would be half desire and half lack of funds. :P One of these days I will get back to it. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments. ♥
DeleteI fail to see the necessity of a degree necessarily, but the love of art you can use anytime. When you have finished a half dozen or so works, show them to some small businesses in your area and ask if they would like to sell them on consignment. Whata ya gotta lose, eh? Once an artist, always an artist.
ReplyDelete♥
Jo, I probably have nothing to lose and only rejection and a possible sale to gain. :D Thank you for the vote of confidence Jo! Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments. ♥
DeleteI think Santa should definitely bring you some art supplies this year. ♥
ReplyDeleteWord Nerd, ya know, I think you may be right. I may hit Santa Claus up for some art stuff. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments! ♥
Delete