Rambling Writer’s Block

       Writing is fun when it clicks and the words flow.  You know when you just sit down and start typing with no general direction in mind and it happens. For me, it is when I got the words, music, and the graphics working.   Everything falls in place effortlessly.   Generally I don’t write this way.  I usually have a theme or topic to go by.  Then I think about it and have a plan before I sit down and start typing away.  Today I have plenty of writing prompts to get me going but am just about half past give a $hit about doing them.  

     I have signed up for NaBloPoMo too many months in a row to count.  I have participated in so many in fact that I have actually figured out how to pronounce NaBloPoMo.  That has only just happened. Before that I referred to this madness as the blow me posts. On  days like today, I still do.  Writing everyday is good discipline they say.  My brain screams why!! Does it make me a better writer?  I am sure it doesn’t.   If nothing else it makes a person a little more likely to post anything for the sake of posting.  

        Let’s face it.  We have all been there.  Maybe we need a day off work, a day off school, a simple break from the same ole $hit different day mentality.  Guess what, I am there.  I have reached the point where my mind has drawn a blank.  It has mentally shut down.  Worse still, I don’t care.  I am in a slump. Certainly I couldn’t expect the words to just keep tumbling out of my brain filling the computer screen with witty prose forever.  It is the dreaded writer’s block.  The passion is gone.  Not only is the passion to write gone, but pretty much the passion for everything else went to hell in a hand basket right along with it.  Could it be depression banging on my door?  It makes me want to flip off my computer, the housework, and everything else that demands my attention and fall back into bed and bury myself within the pages of a book until sleep takes me.  That is a whole lot of birds flocking about in the air. Silly and pointless perhaps, but giving my computer the bird would make me feel better.

      I have a bad case of lazy butt syndrome and not quite sure how to combat it.  It would be so easy to crawl back into bed and sleep my life away.  Still there is work to be done.  As much as I hate house work, I could go off the deep edge and clean until I am silly.  Even if I did, my husband would still arrive on the scene and clean it AGAIN.  The only good thing about jumping on the cleaning band wagon is that maybe he wouldn’t bitch quite as loud when he arrived.  There is that.  There is nothing that pi$$es me off worse than having him arrive and start cleaning before he has even had his first glass of iced tea, especially if I have already cleaned the place myself!

          The house is silent.  Everyone is on summer break time where you stay up late and sleep just as long.  All the animals are asleep.  The kids are asleep.  I have to admit my dog’s snores are lulling me into a stupor.  I have no intention of waking any of them up.  I like the silence and the isolation.  I actually encourage it.  For once I don’t have a migraine.  Waking up with a migraine every day of the week is a sure fire fun sapper, and I have to admit I am getting sick of it.  Once you have taken the magic little pill that knocks it out of the park you are pain free but also feel sleepy and as if your brain has turned into a big ball of goo filled with nothingness.  Despite the fact you feel out of it, you celebrate that the throbbing pain in your noggin is gone, if only for a little while.  

          Amazingly enough my rambling has resulted in a blog which whether it is worth reading or not, it qualifies for my quota as far as NaBloPoMo is concerned.  I will be relieved when I get my mojo working again because just writing about nothing in particular sucks.  I have no illusions that anyone will want to read this crap that is spewing from my fingertips.  I have survived writer’s block before and am sure I will again.    It is just one of those days.  Sometimes you just have to take a break and then there are other times when you just have to ramble until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

Time in a Bottle- BFF 211

      If I could keep time in a bottle I would have given it to my mom who was not ready to die, had so much more she wanted to do, and would have given anything to have more time.  In contrast, my dad was more than ready and willing to go because my mom was no longer here and what he desired more than anything else was more time with her.  He was never able to fill that gaping void in his heart that she left when she died.  I was the one who wanted time in a bottle to spend more time with him!


     

       I would love to be able to have a big room filled with time in bottles.  I would use a bottle every time my husband comes home and probably end up spending a fortune.  He usually is only home on average 4 days a month.  From the time he arrives until the time he leaves time literally flies.  There never seems to be enough time together.  There are times when he probably is glad to get back on the road and away from us, and I have to admit when he comes home and has a bee up his a$$ and looking for a fight there are times I wish he would have just kept trucking right on by.  Unfortunately that is not how life works.  You have to take the good with the bad and roll with it.  Not everyone is happy every minute of every day.  Deep down, I wish he never had to go.

        When I look at my kids I wish I had time in bottles so that I could enjoy their being little longer.  I hate the thought of them growing up.  It seems only yesterday they were babies and now they are both in school.  Before I know which end is up they will have grown, transformed into adults, and be off to discover the world and live their own lives as they should. 

         Unfortunately we can’t save time in a bottle.  Time doesn’t stop when someone we love dies. You can’t stop your kids from growing up.  One day I will be old and the sands in my own hourglass will be used up.  If someone could figure how to do it and sell it, they would make a fortune! Until then I will do my best to enjoy the time that I have until the next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

Breathless

This is a fictional story written for the GBE2's writing prompt.  I hope you enjoy it.

       Of course she knew him.  They had a class together.  He sat in front of her.  Occasionally he would say hello before taking his seat or smirk when he handed papers back to her, but that was all.  She had a secret crush on him and loved him from afar.  He was gorgeous and perfect and successful at every sport he participated in.  She would have had to have been blind and stupid not to lust after him.  Hell half the student body were in the same boat!  Even a guy would lust after him.  He was that good looking.  Each day she would rush to school in the hopes of catching a glimpse of him.  It was like a game between her and her friends.  

          One day the teacher had decided to pair them up in groups of two and to her delight and horror she was stuck with Mr. Wonderful.  Holy hell, what would she do?  What could she say that wouldn’t make her look like a blubbering idiot?  He was smooth.  She would give him that.  If he noticed how uncomfortable he made her, he gave no clue.  She tried to remember to breathe and act normal.  He seemed oblivious.  When the bell rang, he grabbed his books, flashed her one of his drop dead gorgeous smiles and a little wave and left her breathless.

         She left the room in a daze to meet her friends who were all excited about that night’s dance.  They were all going.  It was going to be a blast, and to be honest she couldn’t wait.  She didn’t think she could stomach watching Mr. Wonderful dancing with someone else, but what choice did she have?  She was certain she barely registered on his radar.  Still, it would be fun to get all dressed up.  It really didn’t matter that she didn’t have a date, she had her friends and that is all that mattered.  At least she wouldn’t be alone.

        There was an air of excitement in the air when she arrived at the dance.  The DJ played excellent dance music and she laughed, danced, and thoroughly enjoyed herself with her friends.  Then the DJ announced a slow one.  She headed to the side line with her friends as couples quickly formed on the dance floor.  Maybe she would get a drink of water.  She peered on to the dance floor searching for him.  Where was he?  She knew he was there.  Her friends soon began an animated conversation about who was with whom.  All of a sudden there was a collected gasp, and her friends were silent.  She turned to discover Mr. Wonderful heading purposefully straight for them.  Holy hell!!  He was looking right at her!  Certainly not!  It couldn’t be!  He stopped in front of her and smiled his sexy grin, and asked quite politely if she would like to dance.  Her jaw dropped and her mind went fuzzy.  There has to be a mistake.  She felt a sharp jab in her arm as her closest friend in the world attempted to jar her back into reality.  He held out his hand and without a word she took it.   He led her out onto the dance floor and spun her into his arms.

        Their eyes locked.  He smiled and she smiled back.  He whirled her around the dance floor and she felt as if she was floating.  As the song ended and the music died away, he kissed her leaving her breathless.  A rousing beat had begun and other people began dancing frantically around them.  “I didn’t know you knew I existed!” she burst out.  He laughed.  “How could I not know?” he asked.  Ever since the first moment I saw you I have been summoning up the courage to let you know how I felt.  I knew if I kissed you I would know for sure if it was all in my imagination.  Now she was confused.  What the hell was he talking about?  She smiled and said “Well, what did you figure out?”  He took her hand and led her off the dance floor.  He looked at her again, turned a little red, and admitted “You leave me breathless”.   “How did you know?” she asked in a whisper.  He leaned closer to hear the words “You leave me breathless too!”
  

       Over 50 years later they sat side by side holding hands on their front porch watching the sun set into the horizon.  A lifetime had passed since that long ago night filled with too many breathless moments to count.  She glanced his way and caught a much older Mr. Wonderful gazing back.  He took her hand and said “You still leave me breathless”.

Silent Sunday: John Deere for Girls

Babies or Older Kids?

NaBloPoMo asks:

Which do you enjoy more- babies or older kids?

      If I had to say which I enjoy more I would have to say that I love babies.  On the other hand, I love my own kids no matter how big they get!!

Focus on This: Delicious

Beef Stew

Chocolate Cherry Ice Cream Dessert

Roasted Parmesan Potatoes

Rocky Road Brownie Pizza

Barbecue Chicken

Banning Kids

NaBloPoMo asks:

How do you feel about kids being banned from places such as restaurants or airplanes?

     Excuse me while I step up on my soap box.  Banning kids from places such as restaurants or airplanes effectively discriminates against parents in general.  Who exactly do they think is paying for tickets or a meal?  It is the adults.  I have always taken my kids with me every where ever since they were born.  If I went, they went also.  I have never had the luxury of having a close relative’s house to dump my kids at every time I wanted to step out of the house.  Once my husband and I had children we wanted to include them.  We were a family unit and the unit went every where together.  

      I know several people that dump their kids at a babysitter so they can rush off to a hotel to have $ex, go to a movie, or go out to the bar to get wasted.    I have also known folks who leave their kids at a babysitter’s while they march off for vacation.  I guess I am an oddball because if my kids can’t go somewhere with me, then I am not going either.  

       When you get down to asking a question about kids being banned, that really goes against my skin.  Wouldn’t businesses and airlines lose a lot more money by excluding people who have children?  People with kids have to eat and people with kids like to travel.  That doesn’t change when the baby is born so why would these same people all of a sudden be banned simply because they have their kids in tow?    Once your kids come along, it is time to grow up and take responsibility.  Priorities change. It is up to you as a parent to teach your kids how to act and conduct themselves in public.  If places ban kids, where will they get this valuable experience from?

      Kids grow up all too soon and become adults. Sure a lot of them can be brats and would be better left at home.  Think about this though, if they are always left home they will only ever learn how to behave while at home.  It is never too early for them to learn what is expected and how to behave while in public until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

Music Concert or Comedy Show?

      I would choose the music concert every single time, unless my favorite comedian Eddie Murphy was in town, then I would so be there!!  Not just any music concert though.   As far as comedy shows go I have only ever been to one and that was a performance of George Carlin.  While he was funny, after a while my face began to hurt from laughing so much and it got old for me.

      I have a couple videos of Eddie Murphy’s stand up routine plus a vast collection of his movies and that man has never failed to make me laugh until I practically peed in my pants.  When I was a freshman in college at a notably churchy school I used to play my copy of Eddie Murphy Raw at full blast. Why?  I was rebelling from the mandatory 7 days a week dose of religion.  I love Eddie Murphy’s smile and that unmistakable laugh.   His stand up routine is outrageous and just kills me.  I am also a big fan of his movies from the Beverly Hills Cop trilogy to the 48 hours and it’s sequel among countless others. 

      When my mom was on dialysis back in the early 90’s I would go along for the 4 hours she was on the machines.  Sometimes I would read, watch TV, and other times I would visit with some of the other dialysis patients.  I was amazed one day when I chose to sit down and talk to a man who had not only lost the function of his kidneys to diabetes but his leg and vision as well.  To look at him he didn’t look to me like he would have any good stories to tell.  You should never judge people by their appearances because he proved to be a very interesting man who before diabetes had wrecked havoc on his life had drawn maps by hand, most notably maps for the Calgary Olympic Games of 1988.

        He also told a very amusing story about how his sister had recently vacationed in
Las Vegas.  Evidently while at her hotel she had stepped on an elevator with 6 tall, well muscled black men.  When one of them told her to hit the floor she freaked out, and expecting to be robbed she  body slammed herself to the floor with her arms in the air.  The elevator erupted in laughter.  Embarrassed she got back on her feet, pressed the floor she wished to get off on, turned a brilliant red, and as soon as the doors opened beat a hasty retreat.  At the end of her stay she went to the front desk to settle her bill and check out.  Guess what? Her bill had been paid in full.  Astounded she read the note left by her benefactor which said: “I have never laughed so hard in all my life! You made my day.  I hope you enjoyed your vacation.  Thank you for a laugh I will never forget!”  The note was signed Eddie Murphy.

        Now when I pop in an Eddie Murphy movie or stand up routine from my collection I remember the man from dialysis from long ago, his sister’s story, and Eddie’s generosity.  It makes me smile as much as his dancing, prancing, and off the wall raunchy humor does.   So if Eddie Murphy isn’t performing, then I would go for a concert every single time until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

Best Part of Parenting

NaBloPoMo asks: 

What is the best part about parenting?

1. Spontaneous hugs, kisses, and proclamations of “I love you Mommy!” just because.


2.  Bursting into a fit of giggles over absolutely nothing at all and having the right to act completely silly just because.


3.  Celebrating your kid’s milestones and accomplishments.


4.  Being able to teach your kids how to cook, draw, and do things.


5.  Being there to help your kids with their homework and do little things that make their faces shine with smiles whether it be having lunch with them, reading stories, or taking them to the park.

6.  Having the magical amazing power of mommy’s hugs and kisses that when coupled with a band aid make anything and everything all better.







7.  Having your kindergartener bring home a paper which he wrote that says he is very nice because he loves his mom.

8.  Going to school activities and watching your kids perform and shine.


9.  Forming your own family traditions during the holidays and having your kids remember and look forward to each and every one.

10. Being the one your little one comes to for love, support, and guidance when life has got them down.

     Although there is millions of other reasons that make parenting so rewarding, these are the ones that come to my mind right away.  I thank G0d everyday for my children and the blessings and joy they have brought into my life.  I can’t imagine life without them until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.