Say What?

“So,  if six chickens laid nine eggs a week, how many did the duck lay?”  

What kind of question is that?

 I hate story problems! 

Is this a trick question where I am solving for x?  

Eggs?

Chickens?

 Ducks? 

I’m screwed!

Tweet

Party Over

     "Where have you hidden the liquor for tonight?”

     “I hid it in the barn, the folks will never look there!”

 

      A quick trek to the barn reveals the unthinkable. Empty fifths, passed out brown cows. Hot rum cows gone wrong. 

       Party over.

Tweet

Cake

     Ingredients assembled, pan perfectly greased.  Carefully measuring, mixing, and preheating for the suggested temperature.  Baking, the aroma is heavenly!  Timer dings: carefully, I retrieve my culinary masterpiece from the oven. Pandemonium, chaotic as the kids pursue dogs…colliding, splat…oh shit! 

Tweet

The Diamond

     I transferred another stitch over, looked again… gasping. My diamond! Disappeared from its setting!  

      I stood quickly, threw aside my knitting searching, panic ripping me to my core. Frustrated tears flowed.  

     Hidden within the plush carpet, my diamond twinkled mockingly.  Thank God!

Tweet

Run Away!

     Meckley's classroom appeared dark and deserted, but conveniently open.  Knowing he feared snakes , a rubber replica seemed a hilariously appropriate calling card.  Giggling, we quickly embellished a scrap worksheet with smiley faces and initials.  Bells pealing, we panicked, and fled upstairs.

Tweet

Flying Monkeys

         Watching the “Wizard of Oz” with Jacob, I worried the flying monkeys would terrify him.  I braced myself.   

        “What is the airspeed velocity of a flying monkey?” 

          Shocked, I gaped at him as if he had sprouted horns and a tail.   Kids!!

Tweet