U is for Umbrella

      How many people always have an umbrella on hand in case of a torrential downpour?   If you are off to the store and it looks like rain, do you grab your umbrella?  I never do.  Half the time I don’t even know where I could find an umbrella if I did need one.  When I was growing up my parents always kept an umbrella in the car.  When not in the car, umbrellas could be found in the hall closet.  If we were planning to go to an outdoor event and there was a chance of rain, my mom always brought along the umbrellas.  She was one of those people that had it planned in all matters of weather.

       I am the type of person that tends to wing it.  If it is raining, I will make a mad dash and come out the other side giggling and looking like a drenched rat.  On the off chance that I have had the foresight to grab an umbrella, I have noticed that they didn’t do me a whole lot of good.  Maybe it is just me, but when I use an umbrella I end up just as wet as I would have without.  I get hit with the side ways rain or the wind blows my umbrella inside out rendering it worthless.  I spend more time trying to get the stupid thing up and then down and keep from being blown to Timbuktu than I actually do keeping dry.  

       Unlike my mom, I am completely retarded when it comes to umbrellas and find them more pain in the a$$ than they are worth.  When it comes to my children, the rules change.  I made sure Santa Claus stuffed a nice red umbrella in my daughter’s Christmas sock because she has to walk to her bus stop, stand in an area that offers no shelter, and walk home.  In those circumstances, I would welcome an umbrella too.  I have no problem getting drenched, but have a big problem with my kids getting wet.

       Have you ever noticed it can be literally pi$$ing down when you arrive at a shopping mall or store, but you never see anyone getting out their trusty umbrella to make their way inside?  Most people will put a brave face on it and just make a mad dash for the door.  Still others will put their head down and just plod on through the rain at a slightly quicker pace.  The rest of the population will stay put and wait out the downpour.  You never see a colorful sea of umbrellas making their way to shelter.  People tend to either wait out the storm or make a mad dash.  I think it is because they simply don’t want to be bothered with carrying the stupid thing once they get wherever they are going or they don‘t have an umbrella in the first place.  9 times out of 10 if it is raining, I won’t have an umbrella until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.