Q is for Queen

      Can you imagine being born knowing one day you will be queen?  Once you were old enough to contemplate such an enormous proposition, wouldn’t that be just a little cool? The queen who is currently occupying the throne wasn’t born to be Queen.  If her uncle hadn’t abdicated, she would have lived a very different life.  Granted she would have still been very privileged and had plenty of money, but she would have never had the responsibility of the whole monarchy that she ended up with.  Your life and business would never be totally your own but just THINK about the perks involved!!  The good would definitely outweigh the bad.

      For a person like me that has been used to fading into the woodwork, being thrust into the limelight of a very public stage from birth would be terrifying.  I hate it when people stare at me!   On the other had, how bad could it possibly be to always be dressed in beautiful clothes, adorned with gorgeous jewels, and have everyone nodding and bobbing to your every whim?  I think I could get used to that!!  Set me up with a few castles, horses, and an array of pretty hats that no one would dare say I looked like $hit in!  No worries about bills.  What other job could a person have that would allow you to travel the world in splendor plus be cheered and handed countless gorgeous flowers when you arrive?   

       A big problem with being Queen would be that you couldn’t turn off your celebrity when you were tired of it.  You would be stuck with it.  I only can imagine when you are simply trying to find a bathroom to take a royal pee you wouldn’t care for the long lens of the paparazzi joining you.  At that point a queen would feel the need to tell the press to f*** off.  It simply wouldn’t be done though, and even though you were queen you wouldn’t dare.  No more mooning random strangers, or flipping off idiots that don’t know how to drive and have their heads up their a$$.  There would be too many people around ready to hold your door, open your drapes in the morning, see to your every care, and make certain you towed the line.  There would also be entirely too many people about to document the moment every time you screwed up.

         Although riding about in the glass coach and giving the queen’s wave on occasion might be fun at first, eventually being under publicity’s unyielding glare and a constant microscope would get old.  I mean, when would you ever find a moment to satisfy that itch on your butt?  Honestly, I don’t think I have it in me to be that dignified for that long.  You know I would end up in a case of uncontrollable giggles before all was said and done!  The first time one of those guards in the bearskin hats at Buckingham Palace farted, I would be lost to hilarity. 

          I was one of those folks that were up with the chickens to see the televised live coverage of several royal weddings first hand.  It still amuses me that the only thing the commentators could say the whole time was that inside the palace the Queen is busy putting on her hat.  This commentary went on for hours and they were always talking about her hat!!  In my mind, the Queen was probably not amused at the ignorance of the commentators.  Why in G0d’s holy name would she take that long to put on a bloody hat, and wouldn’t she wait until seconds before running out the door to put it on?  Think about it!!  I have enormous respect for the Queen of England. She has done a remarkable job over her reign.  This year the Queen celebrates 60 years of service to her country on the throne with a Diamond Jubilee.  G0d Bless her, and G0d save the Queen until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.