Thursday, January 17, 2013

15 Minute Glimpse

       My Dad always used to say “Give me 5 minutes and I will tell you everything I know.”    Beth, the creative force behind the GBE2 is giving me 15 minutes of free writing to unleash the beast within.   The first thing that comes to mind is what a week it has been.  It all began Friday with my son’s science fair.  Here I was silently celebrating the fact that the science fair was behind me finally.  Wrongo, my little first grader did so well he is going on to the district science fair in February.  

 

       Because of that fact, the weekend was peppered with celebrations of pizza and dancing the pony, video games, and all manners of merriment passing too quickly with all three of us groaning at the arrival of Monday.  Still, it was all good.  The kids marched off to school and I settled into my normal routine.  Life is so exciting, NOT!!  I started working out with the Wii Fit again recharging my desire to lose weight.  This time was a little different.  I chose a cartoon dude with a muscular physique for my trainer.   I always hated that little skinny girl trainer telling me that maybe next time I could do better.  Yeah, maybe next time I can pop you one.  Whatever, the guy’s criticism seems easier to take.

 

      Tuesday the accident occurred.  As much as I yell at my kids to settle down and quit playing so rough…they never listen!!  This particular time they truly should of.  Evidently my son’s brakes need checked because while horsing around brushing his teeth with his big sister he managed to ram all that makes him a boy into the side of the tub.  His twig and giggle berries were not amused.  From the sounds coming from my kid, he wasn’t either.  I was horrified.  Truly though, who hasn’t offered to give some smart ass man a good swift kick in the family jewels in their life?  I mean really, who hasn’t?  You get good and pissed off and you want to get them where it hurts.  That smart a$$ man in my fondest dreams of removing testicles never included my precious little boy.  His poor twig and giggle berries!!  Oh Lord and sunny Je$us, my future grandchildren!



       Never in my wildest dreams could I have fathomed calling my doctor at night, while my kid screamed bloody murder in the background, and tell him “My son has hurt his testicles!!! What do I do? Ice?  Warm soothing bath?”  I could almost hear the doctor cringe and cross his own legs over the phone.  “Oh NO! You never want to do THAT!  THAT will make it worse!!”  Seriously I had no clue.  I mean, geez, shouldn’t you honestly ice something that is swelling up like a balloon?   I don’t have parts like that.  How the hell would I know?  Evidently Ibuprofen is the answer, and with instructions to take two of those magic pills every four hours, he hung up.  All right, gotcha.  It is a call no mother in their right mind should ever have to make.  Right up there with the note to the teacher and nurse explaining that it might be nice if they could make sure he had some ibuprofen after lunch and WHY, just in case.  Oh M Gee!   Explaining the situation to my husband was almost comical.  “He hit his WHAT where?  WHY would he do THAT“ 
  

       During all of this fiasco with the twig and giggle berries I decided to do something drastic.   Let’s face it.  I never in my wildest dreams thought I would ever go back to school or G0d forbid take a class.  I honestly thought I was too old for that $hit, but guess what?  Wednesday I started a class in Web Design that is going to be great and I LOVITY LOVE IT!  Not only can I take it from home, but with my library card it is free!  How in the world could I possibly resist that?   Did I mention it was FREE!!    Free pass to knowledge!!  Obviously I couldn’t resist.  The best part is there are more courses where that came from that will keep me busy learning the ins and outs of Web Design and photography for a good long time to come.  It is just what I needed to drag my sorry moping near menopausal a$$ out of the depression I have been in since after the holidays.
 


      While I was reeling in the exciting aftermath of my first class in years and my son’s giggle berry catastrophe, my daughter woke up with a fever of 103 degrees this morning.  So here I am fighting her fever with baths, medication, and rest and wishing it was Friday.  Is it Friday yet?  No it is not.  The damn fever only went down 1 measly degree!  Hold still while I douse you with another bucket of water!  Is it Friday yet??  No tomorrow is and if I can get her well enough she will need to march back to school and catch up on what she missed today.  Some weeks roll along without a single hitch and others you start doing the pony dance and end up grabbing your balls and wincing in pain.  His balls, not mine!  I don’t have balls unless my ovaries count.  They should after all.  Oh hell, you know what I mean!   I guess that is how it goes.  My 15 minutes are up until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

46 comments:

  1. This hit me right in my giggle box! I hope your son has recovered. I could almost feel his pain... I think....

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    1. Darlene, he is doing much better. Thank you for asking! I am so pleased you enjoyed me unleashing the fury of everything that has been on my mind. It has been a crazy week. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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    1. Tayla, it is never very funny when it is happening but when you look back over it in my warped way it gets funny in a big hurry. I am so pleased you enjoyed reading my post. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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    1. Bohemiannie art, it has been a rough week. Just glad it is Friday and we have a three day weekend to heal. Thank you for stopping by and for your kind comments! ♥

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  4. Oh man what a week! I really can't picture HOW your son did that and maybe I don't want to. Poor kid. It's been a crappy week for everyone. :(

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    1. JoJo, somehow he managed it. He has a talent for things like that. LOL Poor kid. Just glad he is on the mend. I am glad the week is over. Bring on the weekend. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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  5. Well ..it was that kind of week, huh?

    Thanks for linking up and making my week better. (:

    Hang in there! Tomorrow's Friday! :D

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    1. Larissa, it sure was!! Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments!!! ♥

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  6. Laughing my frikkin' a$$ off right now, Kathy! I don't mean to make light of your week, but the way you tell it is nothing short of h-eye-lair-ee-uss! And boy was I in need of a laugh. Terrific 15 minutes. Hopefully the balance of the week will be boring in comparison. Cheers!

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    1. Daphne, I am so pleased I was able to give you a giggle. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your sweet comments! ♥

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  7. I will log the ibuprofen tip away for future reference because with boys, well, you know, it is probably bound to happen sooner or later especially with my wild child. And heaven knows I wouldn't have a clue what to do.

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    1. Audrey, I know it is good information to have for any mom with boys. Providence knows it is better getting the info from me than having to call your doctor at night and spit out that your kid hurt his testicles, what to do? Lord, I am still mortified. LOLOLOL Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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  8. Oo.......ouch! That really hurts just reading about the experience, though it sounds funny as well. Thanks for sharing the experience, Kathy, and you made it truly in 15 minutes!

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    1. Michelle, I truly didn't think my son's life would go on for him. He scared the be Jesus out of me with all his screaming. Glad his balls are still in one piece. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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  9. Ouch, ouch and ouch.. Poor lit'l guy.. And poor YOU! What a week! I'd be taking a class in bartending! I hope little man recovers and that your girl gets to feeling better and I really hope you don't turn into an alcoholic! ;)

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    1. Mimi, that sounds like fun though!! Can you imagine all the different kinds of drinks? Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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  10. Oh your future grandchildren!! I had to laugh. Great 15 minute write. :)

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    1. Jenn, you know I was so worried about that! But the doctor assured me that testicles are pretty resilient. Really? Really! LOL So I should get some grandkids out of that boy of mine. At least he didn't puncture his balls and have half my grandkids spill out on the floor. God forbid. I really would have lost it then. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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  11. Twig and giggle berries? Seriously? New one on me and I couldn't stop laughing. What a week! Thank you for making me laugh, wince and wonder all in one hit!

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    1. g, I am so pleased I tickled your funny bone. LOL Believe me, in a 7 year old boy the ole twig and giggle berry description comes closer to explaining what you are talking about than say banana and a set of coconuts. LOL thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments. ♥

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  12. Very funny and excellent post.

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    1. Lanthie, I am so pleased you enjoyed it! Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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  13. Poor little boy - that must have hurt. But you did make us giggle alright, Kathy. I do hope your daughter is better already.
    So glad to hear about your class - I'm sure you'll ace it!

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    1. Corinne, so far so good with the class. I have aced it thus far and love it. My son is much better and has hopefully learned a valuable lesson to be a little more careful. My daughter is still sick we are still trying to get the fever under control but she is on antibiotics, fever reducers, and cough medicine. With lots of rest I hope she will get better soon. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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  14. I found you through a blogging friend, AB...and I am sooo very happy I visited today. I needed the laugh...but just wanna say Im hoping your son and your daugher are better today. But, I love the way you tell the "story"...talent! Thank you!

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    1. Lu Speaks, I am so pleased you enjoyed reading my post. My son is much better, my daughter is still sick, holding a fever, and starting to cough. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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  15. Oh Lordy this is too funny! Twig and giggle berries, huh? I gotta remember that one but the Hubs probably would'nt appreciate it if I used that to describes the family jewels! Great post you've written!

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    1. Menopausal Mama, I am so pleased you enjoyed it!! I guess my true personality comes through in my writing. I write it like I would tell it. LOL I usually am not trying to be funny but people get a giggle out of it anyways. Glad to have provided you with your giggle. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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    2. As always, funny and well told! Poor babies and all, the giggles come with reading. Big hugs all around.

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    3. Jo, I am so pleased you enjoyed the telling. What a hellish week. Hope this coming week is better. Thank you for stopping by and for your kind comments. ♥

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  16. What a week, Kathy! My granddaughter just got over the flu {a different strain than was included in the vaccine} and pneumonia at the same time, then my grandson came down with the croup, my daughter had a biopsy come back iffy so had to have a mole removed from her back that needed four stitches, and my son-in-law was rear-ended, though no one was hurt, thank goodness. I realize none of that happened to me, but I can't help but worry!

    I hope you have some breathing space and only happy surprises for awhile!


    dani

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    1. Dani, You have had your plate full. No wonder you have been full of worries. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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  17. Oh lol Kathy - love the way you write. I'm sure it wasn't funny then but it's just the way you put it. Hope all is now well and back to normal in your world. Glad you are enjoying your web design course.

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    1. Suzy, I am so pleased you enjoy the way I write. I tend to write how I talk and express myself normally especially when I am hyperventilating myself. LOL So far I LOVE the web design course. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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  18. Loved your story it's great that you are able to see the humor in the trial and tribulations of being a mother. I love learning something new even though it can be challenging at times. Bravo for taking a web design class and it's free at that. I'm not very technologically savvy learning social media and wordpress is about my speed right now.

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    1. Dawn, somehow I manage to inject humor in the most serious of things. I think it is how I express myself. I am really loving the web design class so far. There is a lot to learn and so far I have aced the quizzes. Thank you for stopping by and for your kind comments! ♥

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  19. OOQWwwww oh poor baby........hope he is walking better!!!1 you so crack me up 15 min worth!!!!!! (hugs)

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    1. drchoneydewcrm, he is doing much better and his balls are still hanging and intact. He is even starting to flex them around again, so I think he is better. LOL I am so pleased you enjoyed my 15 minutes. Normally I don't have that much excitement in life. This week was the exception to the rule. LOL Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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  20. Your way of seeing/writing humor in things that are not always great perks me up always!

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    1. Anne, I am so pleased you enjoyed it. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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  21. Ouch ouch ouch ouch! Oh gosh! I flitted between giggling and grimacing at this post!

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    1. Loki-Lou, I am so pleased you enjoyed my post. Thank you for stopping by and for your kind comments! ♥

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  22. Thanks for the early morning laugh. Your writing is making my overnight shift much more enjoyable. Glad I linked up...

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    1. Courtney, I am so pleased you enjoyed it. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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