Monday, November 14, 2011

The Element of Surprise


         One momentous day my dad came home with a whoopee cushion.  My mother had never seen one before and was intrigued.    My dad explained, even demonstrated to our delight.  At the time, my folks had a wooden rocking chair in the living room complete with a cushion my mom had sewn resting on its wooden seat.  When my Dad placed it under the cushion on the rocking chair and proceeded to demonstrate,  a fart the size of the universe was emitted.   My mother and I completely lost it.  God knows, farts are funny anyways!  Who could resist? We all laughed so hard, we were soon coughing, sputtering,  and blowing snot from our noses, with tears streaming down our faces. 


        After we finished taking turns slamming our butts on the whoopee cushion and laughing hysterically like a pack of hyenas, we plotted.  What unsuspecting sap could we lure to the chair?  The perfect choice was my older sister.  She no longer lived at home, and hadn’t for quite some time.  She never just dropped in to see us.   When she did show her face there was always a motive and that motive always involved a donation to her favorite cause-herself.  Whether it was food, money,  or free vegetables or flowers from the garden,  she would only stop in to visit if it would benefit her, never staying long.


         I don’t remember how my parents managed to get her to show up that day, but she showed up sniffing the air like a bulldog drawn to fresh meat.  My dad had set the stage carefully.  He blew the whoopee cushion up to full capacity and placed it under the velvety pillow on the rocking chair.  




        When she finally arrived, we quickly took our places.  The need for ultimate surprise was essential.   She couldn’t know or even sense that anything was amiss.  We sat down leaving only the rocking chair empty.  We held our breath, and waited.  My Dad quickly reminded us “Quaker’s meeting has begun, no more laughing, no more fun, no more chewing bubble gum!”  We zipped our lips, and it was game on!!


         Since there was nowhere else to sit, my sister was forced to her only available option.  She walked in and made a beeline to her doom.  She piously sank into the  rocking chair with reckless abandon.   Immediately, the  silence was broken by a fart loud enough to shatter glass.  My sister let out a scream, and her legs and arms shot straight out like a cannon. She almost fell off the rocking chair in obvious shock.  Her face went crimson, and she sputtered and choked on her own laughter.   She didn’t know what the hell hit her!   Needless to say, it was a moment for the record books that will live in the recesses of my twisted mind forever.


        From that day forth, the rocking chair sat empty.  No one dared sit in it, for fear my Dad had planted the whoopee cushion.  Those brave enough to dare had the brains to check under the cushion before taking a seat.  As time passed, the rocking chair was eventually moved to a spare bedroom.  To this day I have no earthly clue what became of the rocking chair or the whoopee cushion.  All that lingers is the echoing laughter and the memory.  One thing is for sure, it wouldn't have been near as sweet if not for the element of complete surprise.  Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

26 comments:

  1. whats up with dads and farting? My dad too had one and sadly..but we can laugh now, once he brought it to a RESTAURANT and let it off during DINNER and would bring it to the mall with him and let it off in PUBLIC

    mortified my mom...cracked us up like no other time

    i miss my dad ((hugs)) thanks for the story and memory retrieval! :0)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Brenda, not quite sure...but you have to admit farts are funny!! It sounds like your Dad and mine would have had a lot in common. LOL I miss my dad too! (hugs) Sometimes it is so nice to just remember and laugh. Thank you for stopping in to read and comment. I am so pleased you enjoyed it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I remember this post--very funny story!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jenn, a little blast from the past. :D Thanks for reading it again, and commenting!! I am so pleased you enjoyed it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. What a great story. I think family stories like this keep the heart and love of a family's memory strong within us.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Brenda, this particular story, and stories like this remind me how hilarious my parents could be. It makes me giggle remembering the look on my sister's face. I am so glad that I have such vivid memories of them, even now this many years later. Thank you for stopping by and for your kind comments!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. My toddler has ruined my sense of humour. I know think farts and especially poop are the funniest things in the world.

    ReplyDelete
  8. The host, actually I beg to differ. I don't think your toddler has ruined your sense of humor, I just think it has become more refined. LOLOLOLOL Farts and poop are funny... Well poop tends to not be amusing when you start finding it on the walls, all over the toilet, and it is being flung at you in the recesses of a pull up. I have had my kid throw his poop at my head. Freaked me out good and proper. I will give you that one...but farts...hell yeah..they are funny. LOL Thank you for stopping in to read and comment!!!! I am so pleased you enjoyed my little story. :D

    ReplyDelete
  9. What a wonderful story. These are the sorts of memories that make Thanksgivings fun.

    Joyce
    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2011/11/gbe-2-surprise.html

    ReplyDelete
  10. Joyce, it is certainly the stuff of family legend and laughter. It is a wonderful story that I will laugh with my children about for years to come. It perfectly illustrates the fun people their grandparents were. Thank you so much for stopping in to read and leave such a lovely comment!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I loved your story, around my house farts are a sure fire way to get a good laugh, sad thing is its usually the dog letting the farts :). I was doing some blog hopping and just dropped by to become your newest GFC follower. Would love if you dropped by my blog when you get a chance. Have a fantastic week! kittycrochettwo.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  12. Cute story. Dad's teach their kids the 'finer' arts of humor, I believe. :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Great story, a good start for the morning, thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Brenda, I am following you too. Funny that your dog farts. My dogs fart too, and I have even heard the cat let one fly. LOL I am so pleased you dropped by to read, comment, and that in the end you enjoyed my story. Thank you!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Jo, isn't that the truth?? Thank you for stopping in to read and for your kind comments!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Claudia, thanks for stopping by to read and comment. I am so pleased I could get your day started on the right foot with a smile. :D

    ReplyDelete
  17. What an awesome story! Definitely something you need to keep around for your kids.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Theresa, the old stories will help keep my parents alive for me and my kids. That is why I love them!! Thanks for stopping by to read and for your kind comments!

    ReplyDelete
  19. I remember this one! Still funny!!! :OD

    ReplyDelete
  20. Word Nerd, ah yes...the timeless classic. Thanks for stopping in and reminiscing and sharing a belly laugh! So pleased it tickled your funny bone!

    ReplyDelete
  21. whoopee cushion.. even the name is LOL...

    ReplyDelete
  22. Danneromero, You are so right!! The name kind of gives it away!! Thank you for stopping in to read and comment.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Gene Pool Diva, I am so pleased that you got a giggle out of my post!! That just goes to prove I captured the hilarity of the moment perfectly!! Thank you for stopping in and for your comments.

    ReplyDelete
  24. That little anecdote made my day, Kathy. Brilliant, and thank you for the big smile it left on my face *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  25. Mojo Writin', always pleased to help out with supplying smiles and giggles!! Thanks for stopping in to read and comment. I am so pleased you enjoyed it. Hugs right back at you!!

    ReplyDelete