Adventure Finds Me!

     I am a person who never goes looking for adventure.  I don’t bungee jump, hang glide, or strap on a parachute and hurl myself out of airplanes.  I just drift through life doing what I have to do when I have to do it, all cool, calm, and collected.  Whether I like it or not, adventure finds me.    I am always oblivious, and adventure usually sneaks up and grabs me right in the a$$ taking me by surprise. 

        When I was a college freshmen at Belmont University, I decided on the spur of the moment that I wanted to go home.  Let’s forget the fact that home happened to be an 8 hour drive away.   Even though I had told my mom that I intended to spend the weekend on campus, as soon as my last class was over I was overcome with the need, determination, and insanity to drive home.

         I threw some clothes and books into the back of my car, cranked the radio’s volume to full blast and pointed my car north.  I was 18, had the world by the a$$, and wanted to go home, so away I went.  I checked no weather reports because the sun was shining.  I notified no one that I was on my way.  I just got in my car and moved it right along.

         Somewhere along the way the sun retreated behind the clouds.  The threatening skies made little difference to me.  I had my tunes cranked and at that moment I was singing along to Bon Jovi.  I had my mojo working, my head was banging to the beat, and I was really getting into the music when all of a sudden a newscaster broke into the middle of the song.  “If you are in Brown County, take shelter immediately!  A tornado has touched down near I-65 and is traveling north.  Repeat, if you are in the path of this storm, take cover NOW!”    It took me a minute for this piece of information to register.    “Oh hells bells, I am on I-65!”  I then passed a sign welcoming me to Brown County.  Brown County!!  I gripped the steering wheel a little tighter and looked around.  I looked over to my left and just about $hit my pants.  There was a huge tornado blowing up a barn right alongside of me!!  I freaked out.  I didn’t know whether to cuss or pray so I did a little bit of both.  

       Instead of pulling off to the side of the road and taking cover, I slammed my foot to the gas pedal and floored it.   All the other vehicles around me had the same reaction because everyone seemed to move in a pack like a bat out of hell.   Rain poured down in sheets.   I couldn’t see where I was going.  All I could see was the tail lights of the semi truck in front of me.  I knew if that semi truck went off the road, I would follow it.  If the tornado changed course, it would hit me.  Either way I sliced it, I was probably going to be having tea and cakes with Je$u$ in short order.  So I buried the gas pedal, said a prayer, and hauled a$$ all the way to Indianapolis.

         By the time I reached Indianapolis, I had to pee BAD.  Honestly it is a wonder I didn’t pee myself on the way.  My brain was frazzled and if I wasn’t three sandwiches short of a picnic before, I was definitely a little closer to needing a straight jacket by the time I guided my Dodge Shelby Charger through the construction barricades that surrounded the gas station.

         Evidently I drove through the wrong barriers because the next thing I knew my car was nose down in a deep ditch.  I lost it with a capital L.  I managed to climb out of my car and rushed up to the station to demand they get my car out of their little moat NOW.  I was going to pee, use the phone, and then I wanted to head on down the highway.  It didn’t matter if it was my fault for having my head up my a$$ and driving through the wrong barriers.  It was their barriers, their moat, and their job to get it un-f***** immediately before I completely lost my mind right there in their lovely establishment.  Before long I was back on the road with only a scratch on the spoiler.  

          I finally did make it home and lived to tell the tale.  I never go looking for adventure, but I always manage to find it no matter how much I try to avoid it until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.