When There is No Alternative

      I want to tell you that I am the biggest scaredy cat that ever lived when it comes to scary rides.  When I was a little girl my Dad kept baiting me all day asking if I wanted to ride the roller coaster.   Hell, I thought he was going to feed me roller coasters were some form of pasta made by Chef Boyardee.  I didn’t know!!  I was little!!  When you are a little kid pasta from a can is pure ambrosia.  Then you get older and figure out what good food really tastes like!!


      

       Finally the time came for me to ride the big rollercoaster at the state fair.  I was a little worried as the coaster made its climb to the top.  When I seen the steep drop I almost peed my pants!!  I screamed my fool head off from that moment on.  It scared the living be Je$u$ out of me.  I swore that I would never get on a roller coaster again.

       Before I married my husband we decided to go to Cedar Point.  I had never been to Cedar Point before and looked forward to it.  I discovered that Cedar Point had plenty of rides other than the roller coasters they were famous for.  Having a grand ole time I allowed my husband to be to lead me into another line.  I remember innocently asking what the ride was like that we were waiting for.  He told me it was a peaceful ride though a space age terrain where friendly aliens waved happily at you while you passed.  I had been to Disney World and honestly I had visions of the classic “It’s a Small World” ride.  I didn’t think a thing about the fact that the line we were waiting in was so long.  It never occurred to me to wonder about the teenagers eagerly waiting in line with us.  Even when we approached the ride itself and climbed in, I still had no clue what I was in for.

        All of a sudden the restraints came down across my chest locking me in.  The ride began its slow ascent upward into pitch blackness.  Finally reality started to dawn on me.  Panicked I looked at the love of my life and asked “This isn’t a rollercoaster is it??”  Before he could answer the car I was riding in plummeted quickly into the abyss.  I screamed and screamed.  The ride sped faster down and round finally coming to a stop.  I almost seen G0d and $hit my pants.

        When we were finally free of the roller coaster and in the sunshine I completely lost my mind.  “That was a roller coaster!!!  That was a roller coaster!!!”  I hit him in the stomach as hard as I could.  With him doubled over holding his gut I continued to rant, rave, and carry on.  He was in the worst kind of trouble!!  When it comes to rides I will never trust what my husband says about them again.  I will always be forever wary.  

        On the upside, for the rest of the day I got a lot more adventurous.   After all I had rode a roller coaster and lived to tell the tale, so maybe I could brave another scary ride!!  The folks at NaBloPoMo were interested about when it would be good to have no alternative.  If you ever want to get me on a scary ride, it is better to give me no other alternative because if I know about it you will never get me on it!!  The only downside is that something like that only works once on me because after that I know better until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.