Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Popularity

The following is my submission for the Writer's Post Blog Hop hosted this week by Jennifer Wilck at Fried Oreos.    

       Isn’t it amazing how time, experience, and the artful process of aging makes a person wiser and realize things in hindsight that it sure would have been convenient to know back in the day?  When I was growing up I would have given my future offspring’s nuts to be popular and well liked and have the golden key to the popularity crapper.  I was involved in lots of activities and knew a lot of kids.  In hindsight it may have been my personality and tendency to fly below the radar while keeping to myself that kept me apart from the popular kids.  I didn’t have the “look”, I didn’t talk the “talk”, and I was pretty independent in my thinking which meant I didn’t let others sway me.  I did my own thing and without even realizing it I kept to my own devices and skimmed the outskirts of the cliques.

 


      That didn’t mean that I didn’t antagonize about “why” the beautiful people didn’t welcome me into their numbers with open arms.  I honestly thought that there was something wrong with me.  In hindsight I realize it was their loss and something was probably more wrong with them than me.  It depressed the living hell out of me at the time though.    My daughter observes the “in” crowd as being rude and a tad obnoxious.  I laugh when she describes them as thinking they are all that with a bag of chips and on the whole prissy or idiots.  Obviously she is not impressed.  Several popular kids in the 6th grade are supposedly “going” together.  The smart ass in me wonders “Just where the hell can they GO when they can’t drive?”  Evidently the dynamics of “going together” has changed since when I was a kid.  Now the couple barely speaks to each other or is seen with each other.  Back in the day if kids were “going together” they were seen holding hands or standing so close to each other that it was a sure thing their personal space was being violated.  The girls drew hearts in their notebooks proclaiming so and so plus so and so.  You could tell they were “together”.  




        Bottom line, popularity doesn’t impress me much.  What does impress me is my opinion of the person or thing.  If I like them or it, that matters more to me than if everyone is doing it, if everyone else likes them or if it happens to be the “in” thing or “the“ person to associate with.  I may try it or extend friendship to that person, but if it doesn’t do it for me or I don’t like them I am apt to choose my own way despite what the masses think.  Everyone does the best they can.  There are billions of people in this world.  Chances are you are going to find somewhere to fit in with and be accepted for who you are.  In my book it would be far more important to be me than be a clone of whoever happens to be “all that” today.  I am an individual.  Every single person is a miracle of G0d’s creation and far as I can tell, G0d doesn’t screw up.  So with that in mind, everyone has something to contribute to this big ole world we live in.  What or who happens to be the most popular of all is simply what or who has the most exposure being the best it or they can be.  When people recognize those simple facts popularity begins.  Popularity can be a double edge sword though.  Those always in the spotlight show every imperfection in the glare and in the process offer themselves up for criticism.  When push comes to shove to hell with popularity, I would just rather be me.


24 comments:

  1. Absolutely right, Kathy. We have to make our own choices about who or what we like, regardless of whether it happens to be the 'in' crowd or thing. I've written about this on my blog too :-)

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    1. Paula, I am both of my kids are more worried about what makes them happy than what the popular people are doing. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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  2. Great post Kathy. I was just 'me' too, back in school. Like me if you want, if not, oh well. I took a lot of crap because I wasn't afraid to be different. And now my classmates say they actually admired my ability to be myself and not care what anyone thought. And for some reason Russell thought I was one of the most popular girls in school b/c he always saw me yakking my head off in a group of other students. I don't remember high school being that way for me at all, but that's how he perceived it.

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    1. JoJo, it would be interesting to see how my classmates remembered me in school and how they would view me now. Isn't it odd how Russell remembered you and how you remembered it is totally different? Who would have thought you would have ended up together?
      Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments!

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  3. "Popularity can be a double edge sword though. Those always in the spotlight show every imperfection in the glare and in the process offer themselves up for criticism." -- Boy, did you nail it with these words, Kathy. I never even considered that angle. Who the hell wants to have their life on display like that? Not me! That's for sure! Great point and, overall, a very savvy, well-written post. Hope you'll check out mine!

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    1. Daphne, I am so glad you enjoyed it! I kind of winged it..LOL Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments!

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  4. I love this, Kathy! I went through the same thing growing up. Now that I'm an adult, looking back it's easy to see that being popular was not all it was cracked up to be. At the last high school reunion, the popular girls were washed up and divorced. And I realize I had a lot more friends than I thought. Great post!

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    1. Jennifer, I hardly ever look back to that time in my life. I have taken knowledge from my experiences and passed on a slew of advice to my kids...a lot more guidance than I ever received when I was living through it. So far, my guidance has seemed to make my kids a lot more confident in who they are and what kind of people they value. For that I am thankful. Thank you for stopping by and for coming up with a great topic!

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  5. I am so with you on just wanting to be me. And I love your daughter's saying of all that and a bag of chips. I was like you though and agonized at times over being more popular and even though I wasn't completely unfortunate still would have loved to be noticed a bit more. Now, I wonder why I ever felt lie that, but as a teen I truly thought that being popular would be great.

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    1. Janine, she comes up with the craziest things...just like her mom. LOL She cracks me up with her silliness and indifference. She cracked me up recently because the boy she liked a while back asked her if she cared if he was going out with this other girl. She looked at him and said "Why would I care what you do or who you go out with?" She said he kind of laughed and didn't know what to say. Probably the first time a girl has ever treated him with such indifference. LOL Being a teenager was tough...I hated it. I am so glad that I am here to steer my kids through it with my off the wall advice. LOL Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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  6. gosh, I agree. I wish I could pass onto my kids what I know now and didn't know back then. As my 7 year old is already obsessed with being buddies with the most "famous" kid in his class -- he doesn't even know the word "popular" yet.

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    1. Sandra, fortunately my 7 year old hasn't really worried about such things yet. He is just his amazing original self. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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  7. I agree wholeheartedly and am not impressed by popularity either. It sounds like your daughter has a good head on her shoulders.

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    1. Katie, so far so good. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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  8. "When I was growing up I would have given my future offspring’s nuts to be popular and well liked and have the golden key to the popularity crapper. "

    Hee! Oh dear, just about started giggling to myself right here in the library. Thank you for the laugh!

    Sounds like your daughter is wise beyond her years. I had a "different" experience growing up. I was in a very small town (700-800 people), and there were only 18 people in my class. It's hard to be cliquey when there are only about 150 people in an entire school, from kindergarten to 12th grade. :P Mostly it was us against the adults, rather than us against each other.

    I really like your observation of choosing friendships according to the opinions people express. I hadn't really thought about it like that, before, but that's what I do, too.

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    1. Jerimi, I wish I would have had her understanding and wisdom at that age. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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  9. I just want people to like me enough to occasionally let me have a slice of their pizza - after that I'm sorted. In younger days I've thumped walls with the despair of being left out of things but as you age you relax and let them decide to come to you when you stop trying to make them. You are cool as you are :-)

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    1. Glen, you are so right!!! I definitely let you have a slice of pizza!!! LOL Thank you for stopping by and for your kind comments! ♥

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  10. Great post Kathy. You couldn't pay me enough to go back to middle school. However, I have found some of the same things that were issues in high school can roll over into adulthood. Like you stated, the bottom line is you have to just be you and if people don't accept you don't take it personally. It's not about you, it's about them.

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    1. Dawn, Amen. You couldn't pay me enough to go back to those days either. Unlike many...those weren't my glory days and I have no desire to return to them. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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  11. Oh, Kathy, I would just be me too! I am so unimpressed by popularity contests of any kind and like you, was, and still am, an independent thinker. Thanks for this and glad to know that someone else thinks the same way!

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    1. Michelle, it is good to know that there is more than one individual independent in the world besides me. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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  12. Hi Kathy! Those are strong words! But I agree entirely, I have always liked to do my thing! Thankfully, because the fact that we can think for ourselves is, I think, an important ingredient for writing blog posts, hubs, or whatever. I believe we are all the better writers due to this particular quality! So forwards forever! See you and have a good day!

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    1. Joan, thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments! ♥

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