Two Perspectives: Strength to Go On

This was written for the GBE2.  We were asked to write two different perspectives of the same story.

          She watched her daughter fuss and worry. They had such good times through it all.  She had been devastated when the cancer had been discovered. Then she learned that there was nothing that could be done to stop it.  Damn cancer to hell.  She was still young.  There was so much that she still wanted to do with her life!!  

           Since then she had endured unimaginable pain and torturous treatments in an effort to add another day or hour to her life.  She had persevered with a steely determination to do all the things she most wanted despite the pain.   Thank G0d for morphine and the doctor who prescribed it.  Finally she had made her peace with the inevitable.  It is not like she had a choice.  Life can be a bitch, and then you die.  Bless her daughter; she was optimistic in spite of the truth.    She was the only one who never faltered and knew just what to do when.   It was past time for her to begin her life unencumbered by the demands of taking care of a sick person.  She had her chance to live, and in her mind she had lived well.  The fight was over, and the time had come to say goodbye.

            She hoped that she conveyed how much she loved her and appreciated the sacrifices she had made to be there for her.  “I love you.  I can never thank you enough for all you have done for me.  You were always there for me.  Go to bed. You will need your rest.  You will be fine and I will be fine too.”  She kissed her daughter one last time and watched her go off to bed.  Closing her eyes, she left the pain behind and went on into the light.

  

      Mom looked exhausted.  She seemed to be resting comfortably in the recliner and the morphine was doing its job for the moment.  I stayed nearby and read my book.  Fear gripped my heart and my thoughts.  “If she gets much worse, I don’t know if I can take care of her anymore.  I won’t know what to do!!  I won’t know how to help her!!  Oh G0d, please help me to be there for her and do what I must!!  Surely tomorrow will be better.  She will rally after so much rest today.” I thought to myself.

      Life had spun out of control since the cancer diagnosis.  My divorce was final; my marriage a memory.  My temporary job had ended and I had quit school unable to keep up with all its demands.  Mom had been determined to go on with life as usual despite daily treatments and appointments.    Now all I did was see to her needs the best I could.  There had been some good times too.  Road trips, Notre Dame Football games, and laughter amid the horrifying treatments and the nights filled with screams of agony.  We had such fun together! Life was just better with my mother in it.  Mama simply had to get well!!

      I went to her, adjusted the quilt, smoothed the hair from her face, and held her hand. She opened her eyes, smiled, and grasped my hand tenderly. Her eyes seemed magnified.   “I love you.  I can never thank you enough for all you have done for me.    Go to bed. You will need your rest.  You will be fine, and I will be fine too.”  Tears clouded my vision.  “Tomorrow will be a better day!  I love you mama.”  I fell into a dreamless sleep with a prayer for strength to go on.