Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Ownership of Your Own Safe Haven


      What does a person really own?? I mean really? What do you have true ownership of? We make payments on everything just for the chance to own it.   As a trucker’s wife  my husband is gone more than he’s not and some folks may guess I am the owner of a lonely heart.  Some trucker’s wives can’t deal with the loneliness and find companionship outside of their marriage.  I can honestly say that I have never even had the desire to pull a stunt like that.




       Many years before my husband and I had ever crossed paths I searched hopelessly for that perfect someone who would make my life complete.  It finally took being raped for me to realize that I had to grow strong within myself, be comfortable in my own skin, my faith in G0d, and find my own inner peace.  Being raped changed me but I made a conscious decision when I came home from the hospital and police station that I was NOT going to live in fear.  I would go into my house and lock the door and if someone got to me at that point, it was meant to be.  I learned from my mistakes not to be so trusting.  I trusted G0d to take care of me and found my safe haven within.  I learned I really didn’t need to have anyone else to make me happy.  


       From the series of events that led up to this catalyst in my life from my mom’s death which left me isolated to now, I have learned to find my strength, my safe haven, my companion from within.  I learned to enjoy my own company.  I forced myself to go to the mall alone, eat out alone, you get the picture.  You hear people say…get a hobby.  I did.  My hobbies are all things I am perfectly happy to do alone whether it be writing, crocheting, reading, or listening to music.  After my mom’s death I spent hours playing the piano.  I don’t do that so much anymore, but the point is…I keep busy.  


       One time I heard a sermon at church that really stayed with me.  The whole point was that everything we have is given to us by G0d.  He supplies us with money to buy stuff and for a while we go through the motions of “owning” it.  Seems to me, we are just “using” it for a while until we move on to the next step. When you die you leave it all behind to be fought over by your next of kin and then one of them will own it, or sell it.  


       After much contemplation I have decided I own much more valuable stuff than I realized…contentment, peace of mind, and I am my favorite companion. I also have faith.   At least those things can’t be stolen, raped, burned, trashed, and will never deteriorate or mold which is cool.  Can’t buy it in a store…it is priceless. It is your own personal safe harbor, and like Visa it is wherever you happen to be.  Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
     

10 comments:

  1. Oh yes, Kathy, I believe with you that our faith in God is our own personal safe harbor. You expressed it very well!

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  2. Betty, it took me quite a while to figure it all out for myself, but glad I finally did! Thank you for stopping by to read and comment!

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  3. I have also been raped a couple of times, so I feel your pain in that regard, but I also have had plenty of lovers that I gave my body to freely. Events don't make or break us, but our reactions to them do. Today I am the champion of my own soul and no one can take that away from me. I never found any peace with a God but I am glad you have. Best to you. http://kbalbify.com

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  4. KC, as I said in my post...I found my peace from within as you did. I had to be happy with myself and make my peace with what happened. I am sorry that you have never found peace with G0d. Perhaps one day you will. I didn't at first either...but then as I got older I reflected that there a bigger force out there controlling fate and it wasn't me. I can imagine you carry around a lot of anger with what happened to you... and I completely understand. How dare anyone do that to you?? To find any peace at all I had to finally let the anger go and move on. Thanks for stopping by to read, share your story and experience, and comment. I really appreciate it. I wish the very best to you as well!

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  5. You know I share that safe haven with you. You also know that being alone is one of my other safe havens. We have many things in common and I do love reading your work. Good job Buddy.

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  6. Jo, it is so cool that we have so many things in common. It kind of goes with my loner personality that I find my safe haven when I am by myself. I am so pleased you enjoyed this post! Thank you for stopping in to read and leave such kind comments!

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  7. When you die you leave it all behind to be fought over by your next of kin and then one of them will own it, or sell it.

    LOLOLOL

    i adore you....... M U A H!! ((hugs))

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  8. Brenda, well it is the truth!! LOL People flock around peoples stuff and fight over it. I remember when I was a little girl going to my Great Grandma's house after she died with my mom...and all these aunts were holding up her huge panties wondering which one of them was going to want them or take them. What the hell! I wasn't very old, but I can tell you I was wondering why in the name of G0d anyone would want some dead person's panties in the first place. I would be throwing those babies out. Geesh!!! Some lovely furniture, or the TV maybe...but underwear??? What the hell! Funny how you remember weird things like that. I can't remember the name of my kindergarten teacher but I remember that which is just messed up. LOL I am so pleased you enjoyed it. Thank you for stopping by to read and comment.

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  9. What a wonderful post (and a smart way to get both topics in!). Like you, my connectedness with God guides me and provides me with the a safe haven of the very best kind and everything else stems from that.

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  10. Word Nerd, I am so pleased you enjoyed it!! Thank you for stopping in to read and comment!

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