Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Coming of Age: Saying Bye Bye to Childhood

     What is the moment that you leave childhood and enter adulthood ?? Popular opinion would pin that moment at the graduation of high school at the tender age of 18. Not only are you no longer considered a minor by the laws of the land, but from the moment you throw that cap into the air at graduation you embark on the first day to the rest of your life. But, have you truly entered adulthood at that point?? You can buy cigarettes without any headaches if you have a mind to. You can move out on your own, get married, vote, and enlist into the military. Still, in my mind you are still technically in your teens and still have limitations.


     For example, until you are 21, you can not purchase alcohol or go get soused at a bar. If you want to drive a big rig like my husband does, you have to be 18 to even apply for a CDL license. If you want to haul stuff that could blow up you or someone else on impact, then you have to be 21. By the age of 21, most people who went onto college after high school are ready to embark on the rest of their life and the daunting task of paying back any loans for that education. If you marched off to college, have you really embarked on adulthood yet?? Maybe, maybe not. At that point, you may still be going home to your parents house on breaks. You certainly haven’t got a real 40 hour a week job yet because it took all of your time just to handle school. 21 is considered legal age limit for just about everything else. 


     For myself personally, I can honestly say that true “adulthood” to the point where…”you are on your own” didn’t occur until I married my husband and moved out of my parents house once and for all. That is the reality when the weight of never ending bills and responsibility took over. That is when the $hit hit the fan for me. 


   


       Another growing up wake up call was when I had my first baby. If parenthood wasn’t a mind boggling wake up call that it was time to grow up, mature, and handle life, I don’t know what was. That was when the ability to run around and party, go to movies, concerts, and drop everything to rush to Cedar Point came to a screeching halt. At that point, it was time to wake up, smell the coffee, and settle down if I hadn’t already because I had a sweet helpless being depending on me to handle it. True I was older than most at 32 when my first precious bundle was born, but by then I could really appreciate her. If I had her before that, I may not have been as patient. Besides from about that time on, money has been in short supply.


     Some folks are forced to grow up in a big hurry when they decide to get busy and end up pregnant. Their bodies may be mature enough for such a life altering occurrence, but mentally they may be a long way off. For myself personally, I am glad I waited until I had been married 3 years before my first baby arrived. True, some folks my age didn’t wait and are grandparents today. Mind boggling to be sure. I am thankful I am not one of them.


     So to answer when is the exact moment that you leave your childhood behind, it is as individual of an answer as each human being is different. Sometimes due to our choices and other circumstances, $hit happens, and life takes over. Then you just have to roll with it. Society places the adulthood bar at 21, and upon reflection I would say that on average…that is about right. Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.

14 comments:

  1. Such an interesting post, Kathy. Believe this is a hard thing to determine but having a great childhood is such a blessing. I fear there are more and more people in the world these days that cannot claim to have had a wonderful childhood like we can.

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  2. Great post Kathy!!! You are so right, I guess it just depends on the individual. In some cases certain situations make one continually dependent in some way on their parents. Nowadays, with the world the way it is more and more families are dependent on one another. Great job on this one. :)

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  3. I was born old. I was a serious and responsible kid, and I think I was mentally and emotionally an adult long before my physical self caught up. That being said, I went through a few very non-typical (for me) years after my mom died, and engaged in behaviors that might have been normal for my age, but weren't really normal for me.

    Our oldest was born eight days before I turned 20, and my hubby (who is 4 years older than me) and I were absolutely ready to be parents, from a maturity standpoint. Financially, well, that might have been a different story, but had I waited to be really financially ready to have kids, I might be waiting still! ;O)

    I guess we're all different and what works for one might be awful for the next. Lucky kids are those who are born to parents who understand what matters and are willing to put the needs of their children at the top of their list, whatever their age. All that being said, there was still a definite "grow-up" moment for me when I peed on that stick. ;O)

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  4. Betty, a wonderful childhood is a precious commodity anyway you slice it. It is a pity everyone isn't guaranteed one at birth. That is how it should be, but is not the case. Thank you for stopping in and for your kind comments. I am so pleased you enjoyed it!!

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  5. Mary, with the economy as it is and times being so hard for so many...more and more people are having to join together for survival and to get by. Thank you for stopping in to read and comment. I am so pleased you enjoyed it!

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  6. Word Nerd, there is nothing like getting a positive result after peeing on the stick to give you a wake up call to grow up in a big hurry!! Thanks for stopping in to read and for your kind comments!

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  7. Enjoyed your post. I think growing up has been a drawn-out process for me. I can remember thinking about things in a surprisingly adult way from the time I was 3 or 4, but I made so many stupid mistakes clear up into my 40s. Not sure I'm past that yet, and in some ways I'm glad I'm not, because it means I'm still experimenting and taking risks.Many people of my advanced years : - ) have given that up. What's that they say? "Growing old is mandatory;growing up is optional."

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  8. Angela, I am so pleased you enjoyed my post. I love that...growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional. Certainly words to live by!! Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments!

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  9. Adulthood has so many different meanings. Financially I have been an adult for a long, long time.
    Emotionally I was what some people call an old soul. I played at being grown up for a long time before I was anywhere near grown. I had 2 babies before I turned 21 and I was completely ready to be a mom. But I actually knew so little about parenting, it's amazing they even survived!
    It's so odd because I still feel like a 22 year old some days. If only there weren't any mirrors!

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  10. Jo, you are so right...and it is different as it applies to different people. One thing about it with parenting, you learn as you go. I am not sure how my kids have survived this long, but they have. :D Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments.

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  11. I think the point at which each person enters adulthood and leaves their childhood is different for each individual. I had to grow up early and was fiercely wise and independent about grown up things at an early age--although I would not have liked it--I could have been emancipated at 16 and have turned out well. My brother, just a year younger than I am could not have done this. He didn't seem to grow up until he was almost 21 or so. Coming from the exact same background--this shows that it is just different for each person.

    As far as my kids are concerned--I have always wanted them to stay kids as long as possible. Since I had to grow up early--I realized something--once you cross the threshold from childhood into adulthood you don't have the option of turning back, unless you want to look like a clown. So as for my children--they can be children until they are ready for the world.

    Cheers, Jenn.

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  12. Jenn, like you I want my kids to stay kids as long as possible and enjoy it. I feel I owe them as happy of a childhood as I can give them full of laughter and love. I think you are correct in the notion that once you cross that line you can never go back. Thanks for stopping by to read and comment!

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  13. you have a very special blog. enjoyed it... and am following you on twitter and google. please visit my blog if you get a chance also. :)


    cheers,
    jasmine
    adamalexmommy.com

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  14. AdamAlexMommy, thank you for your kind comments, stopping by to visit, and for deciding once you were here that you liked what you seen so much you wanted to follow me. I am honored. Thank you so much!! I will be by to return the favor!!

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